SavvySugar

101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers

Shiloh Jolie Pitt — Mon, 07 May 2007 09:36:12 -0700

Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.

1. Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
2. Staple your reports in the wrong corner
3. Put tape over the mouse optics
4. Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
5. Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
6. Turn your earphones up all the way
7. Burn popcorn in the microwave
8. “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
9. Turn up the beep volume of the copier
10. Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
11. Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
12. Practice beat boxing
13. Sing show tunes
14. Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
15. Slurp hot coffee during meetings
16. Walk around the office barefooted
17. Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
18. Misplace peoples pens
19. Insert a 3.5” disk before they turn on their computer
20. Glue their mouse to the desk
21. Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
22. Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
23. Turn up the contrast on their monitor
24. Talk in a funny accent
25. Use goofy event sounds for your programs
26. Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
27. Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
28. Send flowers from one co-worker to another
29. Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
30. Insist on people to have a great morning
31. Leave hole punches all over
32. Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
33. After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
34. Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
35. Set a password on someone’s screensaver
36. Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
37. Smirk when a co-worker walks by
38. Eat half of someone’s lunch
39. Swap co-worker’s chairs
40. Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
41. Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
42. Take all the ice out of the community freezer
43. Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
44. Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
45. Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
46. Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
47. Take out the ball in the mouse
48. Eat sunflower seeds
49. Tell a long story without a point
50. Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
51. Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
52. Bring Cheetos for food days
53. Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
54. Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
55. Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
56. Practice drumming on your desk
57. Use too many paper clips
58. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
59. Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
60. Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
61. Express your political views at length
62. Whisper loudly
63. Come to work sick
64. Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
65. Answer your mobile during meetings
66. Stand over someone while they are on the phone
67. Sneak up behind someone
68. Mess with the thermostat
69. Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
70. Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
71. Leave unusual print outs on the printer
72. Throw out other people’s prints
73. Juggle office supplies
74. Write all your memos on bright colored paper
75. Be overly nice to people
76. Hide whiteboard erasers
77. Chew gum while talking on the phone
78. Regularly update everyone on the current weather
79. Read your emails aloud
80. Leave the fridge open
81. Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
82. Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
83. Whistle all day long
84. Wear too much cologne/perfume
85. Type loudly
86. Wear bright colored clothes
87. Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
88. Do the sneaky walk around the office
89. Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
90. Use the intercom and page yourself
91. Swap the regular and decaf coffee
92. Hide the sugar and creamer
93. Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
94. Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
95. Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
96. Throw a bouncy ball in your office
97. Tell the same story over and over
98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
99. Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
100. Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
101. Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you

DISCLAIMER: Use these annoyances at your own risk. I take no responsibility for whatever happens to you, your cube, your car or anything else.

Ask Savvy: How Should I Critique My Co-Worker?

SavvySugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:00:38 -0800

Dear Savvy,

Today, my manager called me asking me to write up a report about a fellow co-worker. I had mentioned that she was having some difficulties adjusting to the workplace, that she was rude to us, and where she was getting better but that she still often isn't on task. I told her that I would, but I just sat down to write it and have no idea what to say, how to say it, etc. Any suggestions?

Savvy says: Your manager is essentially asking you to put your spoken criticism in writing. See my thoughts on this situation when you read more.

Your manager is taking your co-worker concerns seriously which means they need to be added to her employee file. It's not a test for you; it's simply your manager's job to make sure that all complaints are recorded appropriately, and it's more legitimate to have the report coming from the person that has witnessed reportable behavior.

You obviously had enough to say about the situation when you originally presented the complaints, so just expand on what you've already told the manager. You say that she's having difficulties adjusting to the workplace, so you should state that along with a deeper explanation of why you feel that way. Each judgment should be paired with a real-office observation to illustrate what's going on with your co-worker - this will keep your report sounding professional.

You don't need to go off on tangents about the co-worker, just write enough to get your point across. Also keep in mind that you don't have to include every little imperfection you've seen in the individual. It's better to focus on the big things (like the fact that she's often off-task) rather than her habit of taking an extra five minutes at lunch (or something equally minimal).

Have a question for me? Ask away by posting your questions in my Ask Savvy group and I may answer it on the site!

Ask Savvy: How Should I Critique My Co-Worker?

SavvySugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:00:38 -0800

Dear Savvy,

Savvy says: Your manager is essentially asking you to put your spoken criticism in writing. See my thoughts on this situation when you read more.

Have a question for me? Ask away by posting your questions in my Ask Savvy group and I may answer it on the site!

Pat O’Brien fired from ‘Insider’ for slamming co-worker in e-mail

justingirl1989 — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:36:32 -0700

Pat O’Brien just can’t keep his trap shut - and it’s costing him his career. This is the married guy who left explicit voice mails for a co-worker (the infamous “hookers and coke” voicemail), trying to convince her to engage in a threesome with him and another woman (NOT his wife), only to be demoted from his position as lead anchor on “The Insider” and sent off to rehab. Now, the tanorexic host is being fired for an e-mail he sent out to his entire workplace, slamming co-host Lara Spencer.

PAT O’Brien is out of a job. The former host of “The Insider,” who was demoted to a correspondent after several stints in rehab, infuriated his bosses when he sent out an ill-advised e-mail Monday to his “Insider” and “Entertainment Tonight” co-workers, which boasted of his own popularity. The e-mail also said one of “Insider” host Lara Spencer’s segments on the show makes viewers “want to vomit.” Sources told us O’Brien was fired yesterday, and a rep for “The Insider” confirmed he’s out.

[From Page Six]

Gawker has obtained the text from this e-mail. Here it is:

Hi, folks, I just spent a couple of days in Iowa - I’m a little bit of a favorite son there - and I spoke with maybe a thousand people and was very hands-on. Even Joe Biden said, ‘You should be running (for president)!’ But what I came away with was, these people can’t afford gas, books, food or schools or movies!

“I was approached a hundred times by people asking, ‘Can you help us?’ I tried to tell them we care, but they didn’t buy it. They wanted to, but watching Anya and Lara [Spencer] pick out accessories makes the viewers want to vomit. I’ll get killed for this, but I’m actually the one not afraid for my job. I want people to be happy.”

[From Gawker]

What an idiot! By the way, EVERYONE on that show makes me want to vomit- especially Pat. He is a disgusting sleazoid and he was lucky to have a job in the first place. Although, I’m sure he’d make a pretty good living as a phone sex operator
http://www.celeb*tchy.com/14276/pat_obrien_fired_from_insider_for_slammi...

Edie Falco talks about hiding breast cancer from “Sopranos” co-workers

justingirl1989 — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:44:48 -0700

It gives you a chill to hear about all the celebrity women who have faced breast cancer, many of whom take years to discuss their private battle with the illness. About two weeks ago Sex and The City star Cynthia Nixon went public with the fact that she underwent a lumpectomy and radiation in 2006 at the age of 40 after doctors found a small cancerous lump on a routine mammogram. Nixon is the new spokesperson for the Susan J Komen breast cancer foundation and emphasizes the importance of regular checkups with a gynecologist.

Now Sopranos star Edie Falco is talking more about the fact that she too underwent treatment for breast cancer while she was working on the popular series. She says she didn’t tell anyone at work because she didn’t want them to be worried about her. It sounds like she was undergoing chemo and that it was very difficult for her:

WHEN Edie Falco was battling breast cancer in 2003, she never told any of her “The Sopranos” co-stars. She tells the new issue of Health magazine: “I kept my diagnosis under the radar, even from the cast and crew, because well-meaning people would have driven me crazy asking, ‘How are you feeling?’ I would have wanted to say, ‘I’m scared, I don’t feel so good, and my hair is falling out!’ I bucked up, put on my Carmela fingernails, and was ready to work.” Meanwhile, Falco recently adopted her second child, a baby girl, reports In Touch.

[From Page Six]

Falco did come out with the news earlier. In August, 2004 she revealed that she was given the “all clear” by doctors after completing treatment some five months prior.

Other celebrity breast cancer survivors include Sheryl Crowe, Melissa Etheridge, Kylie Minogue, Gloria Steinem, Kate Jackson, Olivia Newton John, Jaclyn Smith, Suzanne Somers, Rue McClanahan, and Lynn Redgrave. About 1 in every 8 women worldwide will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. Survival rates for all ages are from 81 - 86%.
http://www.celeb*tchy.com/11299/edie_falco_talks_about_hiding_breast_can...

Couple dates with a co-worker-now it's kinda weird. Should I talk with him?

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 11:58:47 -0700

Hi all,
This out-of-state coworker and I went on a couple dates and everything seemed great. He came on really strong for the first two weeks and I thought all was well. Well the last couple weeks he seems to be not as enthu as first. We are still texting back and forth but not as much as before.Guess he's met someone or gotten over me or whatever.. Anyway so we had kinda talked about meeting when he would be in town again. I hardly doubt if that is going to happen. But when he works out of here, he sits two doors down from me. I am bound to run into him and I don't want it to be awkward.

Should I just be cordial with him if I happen to run into him or should I just stop by and have a quick talk to make sure things are not awkward going foward????(It was one of our concerns that if things don't work out we don't want this to be weird since we do work together on a regular basis)

ps. I hope he asks me out again 'cos i really like him ...*sigh

Dealing with a co-worker.. any advice?

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:43:34 -0700

This may be a bit long so I apologize..

I started at my current firm about a year and a half ago.. My coworker, we'll call her Sue, has been here for about 2 1/2 years and when I came on board, she was in relationship for about 6 years which ended about 7 months ago. She's 31 and I'm 25 and since her breakup, her and I started hanging out outside of work going to happy hours, bars, sports games etc since I was single and familiar with bars. Everything was fine aside from the fact that she was a little boy crazy (which I thought was OK seeing as she'd just been dumped basically by the guy saying he didn't want to marry her and proceeded to move out of their shared apartment). After a a few weeks, it got a little out of hand. She met a door guy at a bar and she took him home that night and slept with him. She met a roommate of a guy I had previously dated while we were all out at a bar and took him home that night and slept with him, admitting that when she awoke the next morning, she didn't remember his name. Still, whoever you choose to sleep with is your own business, more power to you.

Here's where it gets weird. Over the last few months she's been sort of competing with me. For instance, one night she was scheduled to be in a charity auction where the highest bid would get a date with her.. I went up to the pub to support her and the organizers asked me if I would be the last girl in the auction, and I said sure! When I found her and told her the good news, I started getting the cold shoulder and oh it got so much worse when she was auctioned off for $950 and I got a bid of $2,000. Ever since that night, it's been a huge competition. I took her to another city which I consider my second home because I've been there a number of times and even have friends that reside there and she met a great guy friend of mine and the very next night, had sex with him. Ever since she met him (which was in May), she tells me how wonderful she thinks he is and how much she wants a relationship but each and EVERY time we go to bars here in our own city, she proceeds to meet guys and have one nights stands on more than one occasion putting me in a very awkward position as my loyalty falls with my friend who lives in the city we visited and not her. There's even been an instance where I've thought a guy was cute and voiced that and next thing I know, she's chatting him up and ends up getting him to walk her to her car while leaving me and a few other friends in the bar. The hard part is, I have to see her every day. I have distanced myself from hanging out with her after we met up with a guy I was really interested in dating, and another guy I'd previously dated walked up to us, said hi, and walked off.. she proceeded to tell my guys' roommate that i'd had sex with the guy that just walked up! I guess what I need advice on is how to handle her requests to go out when I DEFINITELY DO NOT want to go out with her anymore..? Do I tell my friend that she's infatuated with in the city we visited how she really is or leave that alone? How would you deal with this problem with a coworker you have to be around in a small office everyday?

Sorry this was so long! Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer! : )

Co-workers...when to draw the line

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:13:40 -0700

A year ago I began working in a new office within my university. Upon starting work in this new office, my director and I happened to become fairly close friends fairly quickly in the manner that we'd do a lot of lunches, chatting, hanging out outside of work hours etc...seeing has how we're close in age (both late 20's-early 30's) and have a lot in common. Along with my director, her assistant also became part of our "work friendship group", however she is much younger than we are. Her assistant and she were already friends, so we all would hang out. The last piece of our group happens to be my directors best friend whom used to work in our same office, but now works across campus.

At first all was well hanging out in this "foursome" of women. However, as time went along, I noticed that office politics, gossip, and involvment of each other's personal life was not a good mix with women I work with. To elaborate, my director happens to have a lot of personal family issues outside of work that she shares openly, as does her best friend. Along with this, the person I am dating happens to be friends with one of thier significant others and he is abreast of all the drama that goes on with these women also. Lastly, my directors assistant is "dating/involved" with my boyfriends best friend.

Although I respect my director and enjoy her as a person and friend, I can't deal with being up under her 24/7 as her best friend and assistant do. I feel as if they surround thier lives around whatever she does, take thier lunch when she does, goes out when/where she wants to and have no sense of independence whatsoever. They also all get caught up in talking about each others personal lives alot and there's alot of "she said" stuff going on. We used to all hang out as a group at my house, but not anymore since some drama occured.

A couple months back I decided to back off from this group and do my own thing. They still include/invite me occasionally to do things with them, but I noticed that sometimes I get no invite at all...I have made it a point to show them that I have a life outside of 3 women that I work with, but I feel as if they are taking it very coldly. Outsiders have told me that it's jealousy because they have so many issues and dependance on each other and I don't.

My most recent example happens to be a couple weeks ago when I expressed wanting to go out and see a new movie. The best friend decides to make it a whole big group ordeal complete with dinner plans and dancing afterwards. I thought it sounded fun and prepared myself to go with them since I hadn't hung out with them in a while only to find out that because my director couldn't make the movie, the best friend flaked out on the movie, and so did the assistant. All of a sudden no one could make it. Yet everyone had a ticket. To make it so bad, no one even bothered to explain to me what happened until I ASKED. I felt that was kinda shady. I no longer initiate plans with this group of women.

Anyways, I've noticed that now I don't get invites to lunch, I'm not up on the 'latest gossip', and I found out that there was a gathering had in which I was not invited yet everyone always got invites to all of my gatherings months past.

Why the wierdness? Should I even care? Are women just being women or what?!

Weird Interaction With Coworker

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:56:20 -0700

DearSugar,

I was out with some coworkers last week on a Thursday night. We were all drinking and having a fabulous time when one of my female co workers approached me and said something really weird. She said, "You always look so cute at work," I thought she was giving me a complement but than she continued, "and I know you know it. You know you're cute, you act like you know it, and you flaunt it." I didn't know what to say but it was really awkward. Now I don't know how to treat her at work and feel like she is envious of my body and confidence. Should I just ignore her all together or let her know I didn't like what she said to me?

Cute Carla

Should I...... Tell her she's annoying?

Geekysugar — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 21:58:54 -0800

OK so that title makes it sound like something crazy; it's not.

here's what it is... I work in a touring acting troupe. this means that we are with each other ALL of the time. It's just the twelve of us doing all the loading in and out, performing, costume maintenance, etc. I am lucky enough to be on the road with my fiancee so I never have to share a room with anyone but him. However there is this one girl who drives me up the wall. She can be EXTREMELY passive aggressive, and has no concept of respect for other people or their property. She definitely comes from money so nothing has value to her. all of these terrible traits aside she is dating another member of the troupe. He can be kind of an *sshole so I think they are quite perfect for each other.

A few weeks ago we had a sort of bust up and had a talk about it. I explained to her that we are very different personalities (i.e. she wants everyone to be her friend, I am very picky about who I let into my personal life and so on and so on) and that we weren't necessarily going to get along by default. she brought up the fact that she finds it irritating that our other co-workers think that a relationship is all she needs (many people dislike her for a myriad of reason) she says that it's not but she'll take what she can get. At the time i commiserated because I'm the only other girl on the tour in a relationship with someone close enough to touch. but then I began to think about it more deeply.

from week one of she and her boyfriend getting together on the tour they have been very public with their affection. they are very touchy in the car (where we all have to sit together for long drives from one venue to the next) and kiss a lot in front of everyone else. they hold hands and do those honeymooner type things. Now, I am very anti-PDA. I will not really let my boyfriend kiss on me in public. I think that is something for your private time, not something you have to display to the world. It's for me anyway, so why would I want the world to get a free show? So i thought about this conversation that we had had, and figured out that SHE was the one who set the standard. SHE was the one who let everyone else know how she would like to be treated: as part of a couple. Neither she nor her boyf make any effort to keep it to themselves, even at work (during shows, backstage) and that just not right. We are in a situation where we cannot get away from anyone and there are people who are very sad about their own relationship status. there is one guy who is away from his wife. Overall I just find it rude to shove that in everyone's faces. Also, being part of the only other couple on the road, I have gone to good lengths to keep my private business exactly that, and I find it thoughtless of the other couple to flaunt their status.

So, here's my dilemma. Since she and I had a conversation about it a few weeks ago, should I go to her and tell her of my later discovery (with all kindness and tact) or should I just keep it to myself?