SavvySugar

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 05:17:49 -0700

A number of events have happened in my life over the past year that has really opened my eyes to things.
1. I have lost all my closest friends and I feel like it's all my fault. All through high school I've been a bit of a bully (I realized this recently, in hindsight). I used to say whatever was on my mind and never really cared what others felt/thought, and I would belittle people, and probably made them feel uncomfortable a lot of the time but I was too self absorbed to notice. I realize this is probably because I was bullied when I was younger and hence affected my self esteem. At the same time I also feel the need to protect myself, now that I have been betrayed by these people that I had called my friends. Regardless of my bluntness at times, I know that I was a loyal and caring friend and I never held grudges against anyone. At times I feel like I'm a bad person, butt realistically I'm not. A 'bad person' is someone who harbours hatred and creates trouble for other people right? I don't do that. I don't have ill intentions.
2. My brother passed away from a drug overdose. I'd say I dealt with his death quite well even though at times I feel like I should've done more to help him through his issues and maybe then he would've sobered up and lived a better life. I hate feeling like the few acquaintences remaining are only friendly to me because they feel sorry for me. I feel like people don't really like me at all.
3. I'm unemployed, desperately need a job to get me through university but no one is willing to hire me. I have lots of experiencce but I feel like God is sh*tting on me and nothing is turning out right. I am currently completing a degree that I don't even want to pursue a career in. So I'm basically wasting my time and money. At the same time I don't know what else I can do, what else I want to do, so I feel like I need this degree/this piece of paper to prove that I have achieved something. I've lost motivation for studying, but I don't want to end up having no career. I want to succeed in life, who doesn't?
4. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has lost his spark. Well, we've lost OUR spark. I love and care for him dearly but our relationship lately is more like best friends with benefits rather than intimate/romantic companionship. It's lacking and I keep picturing myself cheating on him. I keep wishing I could meet a handsome guy to sweep me off my feet, to have a hot affair with. I feel terrible and so guilty for thinking this way. I want to be a better person. I want people to like me, but I don't want to be someone I'm not. I was so used to having people around, so used to going out and just knowing everyone. My social circle (if you can even call it that anymore) nowadays is lacking a great deal. I find it so hard to adjust to because I am naturally an extrovert. I feel like I can't be comfortable around people because I don't want to say/do something wrong for them to dislike me.
I am desperate and it's killing me and killing my pride. I use to feel like one of the blessed ones, I would get job offers without even trying, I'd have friends inviting me to go out every week, I'd pass all my subjects with flying colors. I can't believe how much my life has changed. My self-esteem has taken a major dive and I have never felt so low before.

I need to reclaim my self esteem and my life.

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 21:46:50 -0700

A number of events have happened in my life over the past year that has really opened my eyes to things.
1. I have lost all my closest friends and I feel like it's all my fault. All through high school I've been a bit of a bully (I realized this recently, in hindsight). I used to say whatever was on my mind and never really cared what others felt/thought, and I would belittle people, and probably made them feel uncomfortable a lot of the time but I was too self absorbed to notice. I realize this is probably because I was bullied when I was younger and hence affected my self esteem.
At the same time I also feel the need to protect myself, now that I have been betrayed by these people that I had called my friends. Regardless of my bluntness at times, I know that I was a loyal and caring friend and I never held grudges against anyone.
2. My brother passed away from a drug overdose. I'd say I dealt with his death quite well even though at times I feel like I should've done more to help him through his issues and maybe then he would've sobered up and lived a better life.
I hate feeling like the few acquaintences remaining are only friendly to me because they feel sorry for me. I feel like people don't really like me at all.
3. I'm unemployed, desperately need a job to get me through university but no one is willing to hire me. I have lots of experiencce but I feel like God is sh*tting on me and nothing is turning out right. I am currently completing a degree that I don't even want to pursue a career in. So I'm basically wasting my time and money. At the same time I don't know what else I can do, what else I want to do, so I feel like I need this degree/this piece of paper to prove that I have achieved something. I've lost motivation for studying, but I don't want to end up having no career. I want to succeed in life, who doesn't?
4. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has lost his spark. Well, we've lost OUR spark. I love and care for him dearly but our relationship lately is more like best friends with benefits rather than intimate/romantic companionship. It's lacking and I keep picturing myself cheating on him. I keep wishing I could meet a handsome guy to sweep me off my feet, to have a hot affair with. I feel terrible and so guilty for thinking this way.

I want to be a better person. I want people to like me, but I don't want to be someone I'm not. I was so used to having people around, so used to going out and just knowing everyone. My social circle (if you can even call it that anymore) nowadays is lacking a great deal. I find it so hard to adjust to because I am naturally an extrovert. I feel like thesedays I can't be comfortable around people because I don't want to say/do something wrong for them to dislike me. I am desperate and it's killing me and my pride. I use to feel like one of the blessed ones, I would get job offers without even trying, I'd have friends inviting me to go out every week, I'd pass all my subjects with flying colors.
I can't believe how much my life has changed.

Trying to get a social circle

Monique Marie — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:37:48 -0700

I posted an ad online talking about how I would like to meet people in my area for a possible friendship because most of my so called friends decided to leave and a bunch of different BS here and there. I got a few responses which seem promising, but man let me tell you about all those people who post stuff online and they are full of s&*t. I read this one posting on there about how this woman was depressed because she didn't have a lot of friends due to the fact that she just moved her with her boyfriend and he works long hours and when he does have free time he likes to spend it with his friends instead of her and blah blah blah. I felt really bad for her so I sent her an email. I knew that it was either spam or someone who just likes to hear people feel sorry for her when she emailed back asking if I had Yahoo Messenger. I responded no because I really feel that if someone wants to make the effort into getting to know someone then they would do the email thing and then maybe exchange phone numbers or meet in a public place and so on. She just wrote back that's cool and that was it. I was thinking, WTF? I really do not like posting ads online because you get those people who are all about hooking up and wanting to come over there or you go over there to get your groove on and so forth. I am not into that at all. I mean, seriously, why would I want to post something online telling people I just want to get down and funky for no reason at all? I guess I am just not that type of person. Then I started talking to a girl I went to high school with, she always seemed like a good person to hang out with and I met up with her through another friend. Of course I am always the one to make the first move, so I texted her. I hung out with her yesterday and it was pretty much a waste of my time. The whole time I was over there, she barely talked unless I started the conversation and then if she didn't have anything to say on the subject she just turned back to what was on TV. Nothing drives me up the wall faster when you are visiting someone and they indulge themselves in TV, or the Internet or call someone and talk to someone else on the phone for hours. It is like why bother even showing up? I feel that I am a great hostess. I don't watch TV unless if I am interacting with that person meaning they want to watch to, I also ask them if they would like something to eat or drink, talk nonstop about whatever and if someone calls I answer and tell them I have company and will try to call them back later. I even notice this when I go out ot eat with some of these people. They will spend most of their time texting other people on the phone and I am just sitting there like a bump on a pickle waiting for them to get done. I guess I just don't understand or I have a way different view on friendship. I had two so called friends call me the last few days. The one wanted me to take her somewhere because she decided to just get rid of her car because she has no money to fix it, so she has no way of getting anywhere and she thought that if she called me I would take her. Well, I didn't take her and she got mad. I chose not to take her because she is the type of person who just calls when she wants something and now she wants to hang out but she has no money and I would have to do all the driving now, I would have to go over to her house and pick her up and then go do something with my money. The other person wanted to come over today and visit because she has never been to my house but then didn't call me back and didn't answer when I called her and then an hour later when she was suppose to call me to get directions she texts me and tells me that she worked out to much and is now puking. No why I know she is lying? Because she kept trying to be all nicey nice over her texts and stuff and sadly to say this has happen to me before. I think this happens because I am an extremely nice person and if I feel that I have a friend I will go out of my way to do things for him or her. Then the only guy friend I have left is not exactly someone who I want to hang out with a lot either. He had to move back home with his parents again, which I can understand but he wants to hang out at my house all the time or go do something and he isn't really looking for a job. So you can already guess that if we go do something I wind up paying for it and even though he has a vehicle, he doesn't have money for gas so if I want him to drive I have to give him gas money, which means I am still paying. So I told him that until he finds a way to get money I do not want to go out and do stuff. So you think he can just come over to my house right? No because eventually I get hungry during the day, you know lunchtime. How can I make something and then eat in front of him without offering any? I think that is rude, so if I make something to eat I have to feed him too and it gets to the point where it is not even worth it. He says he feels bad and all about mooching off of me but apparently not bad enough.

I was just wondering where are the people that are like me and want to be friends and not have to mooch off of other people? I am beginning to wonder if there are any people left in the surrounding towns of where I live that are like that, so I had to go to the Internet to try and find people. But the problem is all those other people who just want to hook up or they sound really good on their postings or emails and then you start to talk to them and then they decide that it isn't worth it. I am getting tired of being the one who does all the work in relationships. Does anyone else have this problem?

Rob on the cover of Vanity Fair Italy + new interview

sharpysunshine — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:16:12 -0700

If humanity is divided between the party of “I wish but I can’t” and the party of “I could but I don’t want”, I propose Robert Pattinson as candidate of the second faction. 23 years old, vampire in spite of himself, unwillingly sexy icon, the boy with the case ( he has three of them, really, like the years that he spent among hotels ), he looks at the world from a porthole and thinks: “Boh?!”. But then he plays a DO, drinks a beer, crunches a Twix and goes on. He admits that he never has had the sacred fire of art, but he was a cute guy, and the acting school of Barnes Theatre Company was the right place to meet girls. One thing leads to another, and so it happens that you find yourself on the set of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Then it happens that you hears they are doing a screen test for Twilight, and then you shoots a video with one of your friends, but this is so disgusting that you not even send it. But since lucky is even more stubborn of you not looking at her, they call you the same, and you gets the protagonist role. If Pattinson had read attentively Twilight before answering yes – or he had made his sister read it – he would have perceive that Edward Cullen ( the intellectual and torn hunk that all women dream ), would have bled him dry first. But he didn’t read it, and the rest is history, if not of the cinema, at least his history: daily chronicle of the prisoner of luxury suites, forced of room service, incredulous witness of collective hysteria phenomenon by fans. Trying to separate Edward Cullen’s canines from his neck, between one episode and another of the saga by Stephenie Meyer, he shoot Remember Me, a romantic drama movie directed by Allen Coulter and place in New York, where he plays Tyler, student from a rich and devastated family, who despises icy dad’s money ( Pierce Brosnan ) and lives in a revolting apartment with a idiotic roommate. But Ally ( Emilie De Ravin ), even her with a baggage of troubles, comes putting in order his heart and his kitchen. The two of them fall in love, save each others, loose each others and then who knows: the ending leaves the audience still and silent, so we can’t tell it. But since movies go faster than life, when I met him, in London, he has already the features of his new character Georges Duroy ( “one which hates everybody. He was needed after all this romantic stuff. Being always good is annoying” he tells me ), the Bel Amy of Maupassant: polished moustaches and beard, under them his t-shirt with shapeless neck makes a strange effect. Just a warning about the interview for all those people who can’t sleep at night asking if Robert is still ( still? Has he ever been? ) or not with Bella / Kristen Stewart: yes, I wanted to ask him about this, no, I couldn’t. “No pics, autographs and questions about private life, or the interview will end”, they threatened us. We have to stick to the official statement: “ we are just friends”. It is certain that there is ( or there was?) feeling between the two of them, “many and complex feelings” said Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. In their private life they are such as in the movie: between them there is an intense attraction that you can’t realize. In fact, during the shooting, Kristen was ( officially) with her historic boyfriend, actor Michael Angarano. So, I wish but I can’t. Perhaps. Biographic notes that accompanies every movie of yours, describes you like a good and humble person, but it is really possible not getting big –headed when you are perpetually surrounded by screaming girls? “Yes, even because the effect of all of this is more terrifying. Success is a thing in which I literally fall into. Probably, if I have worked hard to achieve it, I would see things in a different way, but since I didn’t do anything, I am, how can I say, perpetually surprised.” Интервюто и останалите сканове след прочетете повече… It doesn’t seem such a great sensation. Did you ever think: give my previous life back? “No, thinking like this would be absurd. I regret some things: meeting people who don’t know who I am, being able to go in a shop, do not asking to myself if people is acting in a certain way with me because I’m famous. While I was shooting Remember Me, it happened that there were 40 people around the corner, ready to take a picture of me, or asking me an autograph. Well, this all is weird.” Where and how are you able to find a little peace? “There are a couple of friends who are close to me. And the presence of my sister Lizzie also ( a singer of discreet success ), helps me to maintain things the most normal as I can. Having some targets give me peace, I must always know what I’m doing, otherwise I get stressed.” Tyler, your character in Remember Me, is so different from Edward. How has it been returning human? “Even Tyler is not such a normal person. It’s strange, but I never performed an ordinary person. Also because the roles of ordinary people are rather boring. Tyler is simple, but not too much simple. I liked the idea of being not a vampire, but at the same time non a banal one.” Was it difficult? “Yes, from a certain point of view, but also not, because I could follow my instinct more. With Edward you can’t improvise. But I allowed myself to give Tyler little things of mine: I thought about how I was at 21, totally at the mercy of my emotions.” Were you one person willing to beat life, too? “Of course, and I’m still so. I know well that anger without any specific object” And how do you get over this? “Splitting everything.” When you go out with a woman for the first time, what do you tell about you first, to make splash? “I don’t talk about me, at the beginning. I think that it is always better listening than talking.” Now that you are famous, is it easier or more difficult to seduce a woman? “I think it’s more difficult, for different reasons. First, I can’t go where I want without someone being able to recognize me, and many of the women approaching me are doing this for exhibitionism. People don’t understand, but I’m not interested in this kind of conquests. So, at the end, all becomes really stressful: distinguishing who is authentic and who is not, fearing to hurt who is really kind. It’s all different from before, when nobody noticed me.” How do you distinguish the good ones from the bad ones? “The good ones call the day after…” Remember Me tells us that love can save a life. Do you believe in this, or is it a romantic thing? “I believe that is a really beautiful and important idea. I think that even seriously ill people can heal, literally, thanks to love all around them. Love gives you purposes. Tyler hadn’t any of them, but he met Ally and his perspective changes. She is like a pair of glasses, and you can see things through them. All begins easier when she arrives.” The movie also tells the things can end in an instant. There are people who spent all their life agonizing over this. And you: would you be ready to loose everything, happy about what you have received? “All movie turns around happiness and being able to see it. Having, here and there in life, moments of consciousness about our happiness makes life deign of being lived.” Do you recognize those moments? Yes, I think so. They last a little, e and I am always ready to ask myself: and now how much time will pass before I will regret or worry about something else? But between a trouble and another, there is peace.” Could you tell me one of those moments? “Little odd things: seeing how my little dog behaved in her last two days of life, how she was proud. I realize that it is a such a depressing thing to be told as happy moment.” What do you do to make the many hotel rooms you attend like home? The presence of my guitar makes much home, to me. And even going to Skype. Last year I practically didn’t talk to anyone and only when I returned to London, I realized that my social life has been completely collapsed. Now I put it again on its feet, and I cultivate it in the distance. Then, luckily, there are people in flesh and bones, the colleagues. Emilie De Ravin, beside that fragile aspect, is a tough person. One evening she drunk 25 beers in succession without feeling the blow. I need two weeks to recover myself and I stopped before her.” Sorry, but what do they mean the words SB on your hat? “I believe Santa Barbara. But I bought it in Tokyo. At least it seems to me….”

Dita Von Teese EXCLUSIVE: Ok.co.uk gets up close and personal with the burlesque goddess

kty — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 11:13:05 -0800

DITA Von Teese is a busy lady.

When the famous burlesque dancer isn't performing at the Crazy Horse or dancing in a martini glass she is coming up with new routines and keeping her to-die-for figure in shape.
Ok.co.uk snatched a precious moment with the curvy beauty to find out what she's been up to recently, how she keeps fit and what she likes to wear in bed...

Hi Dita, how are you and what have you been up to recently?

I've been great! I've been spending a lot of time at my Paris apartment, taking French lessons and learning to live as a Parisienne! But now I am getting set to go back to Los Angeles to prepare for my shows at The MGM Grand in Las Vegas at The Crazy Horse Paris there.

What are your naughty wardrobe must-haves?

Great fitting lingerie. I always buy sexy bras of good quality that fit me well and give a good shape, and I always buy the string and the bikini that match. I am also obsessed with the perfect vintage fully-fashioned back-seamed stockings, so much so that I have my own brand which are made precisely as they were in the 1940s.

You obviously have an incredible (and world famous!) figure, how do you stay in shape?

I mostly do pilates on a reformer, but I also do yoga and take ballet classes. For me, variety is the key to a successful workout regime. When I get bored, I don't want to go.

What are you most comfortable wearing?

Something uncomfortable!! Ha!

Do you ever take a day off and just throw on some jeans/jogging bottoms?

Kidding aside, yes, of course I have days "off", and I do like to be physically comfortable. I don't know why everyone thinks jeans are so easy and comfy... I can get dressed more quickly and comfortably- not to mention chicly - in a pretty 50's era cotton day dress with a single zip up the back!With jeans you have to squeeze into them, button, zip, etc then you have to find a shirt to wear with it, and finally some silly socks and trainers! I grab one of my vintage dresses, one quick zip up the back, and I slip on a pair of ballet flats or easy heels, and voila, I look nice and I got dressed quickly and easily and I'm off! I hate that "I don't want anyone to think I care but look at me in my carefully-planned disheveled look" thing! I don't actually spend hours getting ready on a day-to-day basis, and I'm certainly not about spending a fortune on or making the effort with something as unappealing to me as jeans. I look silly in jeans.

What do you wear to bed?

Either a little lace slip or nothing at all. I love being nude in very fine sheets. I keep a dressing gown next to the bed and that's what I slip in and out of to wear around the house.

Who is your style inspiration at the moment (that is current)?

My modern influences are designers like John Galliano and Jean Paul Gaultier, and I reference things from books I have and old films I see. I definitely see other celebrities who look lovely, but my inspirations go beyond "lovely" and into eccentric, over-the-top territory!

Which staple item of clothing should every girl have in their wardrobe?

The perfect black dress that shows a bit of cleavage, but not too much of anything else. There should be one focal point. If you find the perfect dress, you can wear it over and over in different ways, with a great statement brooch, or a pair of shoes and handbag in a vibrant color, with gloves or a hat. I have a few of these perfect black dresses that I wear over and over, but no one notices it's the same dress because I wear it with different accessories.

How can girls with a tight budget achieve the ‘Dita’ look?

It's actually fairly easy because the fact is, my look is derived from not having money to buy expensive clothes. That is the reason I began collecting vintage clothes! I could see parallels between my favorite designers and vintage styles, so I would shop for vintage. Nowadays I see so many modern made clothes of all price points, I think it's become quite easy to look chic on a budget. My number one rule these days is to buy timeless, good quality pieces that I can wear year after year rather than trying to buy lots and lots of clothes. I would suggest to save up for the day you see that perfect dress that you might have considered to be too expensive. I find that it's actually more economical than snatching up piles of clothes. Whenever I do that, I end up with a bunch of things I never wear.

What’s it like being in your giant martini glass for The Bath? It looks uncomfortable!

Nothing worth doing is easy, and nothing that looks effortless actually is. I'm really only in there for about 3 minutes, and onstage, I never feel any kind of pain or discomfort anyway! I've come offstage with scrapes and cuts, but never feel it until later on.

Every girl likes to feel sexy and confidence is obviously the key, but do you have any mantras or routines that help you to feel sexy even when you’re having an ‘off’ day?

Well, like any woman, I do have off days, and I guess I just do my best to get through it and try to do something that makes me feel better, like exercising or making more of an effort with my appearance, like wearing a favourite dress. And sometimes there's nothing to do but go to bed and count on tomorrow being another day!

You’ve said the reason your style evolved was because you didn’t feel comfortable or suit the ‘normal’ look, what are your tips for girls who want to look different?

The most important thing to remember is that there can be no real definition of beauty... that old saying that beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" is the truth. Being true to yourself and using what you've got it the best way, I'm really just a girl who is enhancing what she's got, and that's it! I think there is something to be said for the women of the world that achieved glamour rather than being born a natural beauty, look at women like Marene Dietrich, Rita Hayworth etc all these women that once looked very average but managed to undergo a reinvention to become the icons we still remember today. There is no real reason that anyone can't do that with enough ambition, even if it's not for the silver screen, but for yourself, in your own movie - the one called your life!

What would you say are rules for a first date or dating rules in general?

I don't really have rules for first dates, because you never know but I do try to reveal myself to a degree, for instance I never try to dress down to make my date think I'm "normal" or anything like that! I like to make a good impression, but I don't want to make a man think I'm something I'm not. I think he ought to know right away that I like to wear this much eyeliner and this much lipstick! I think when I was younger I thought about what others thought of me from time to time, but that's out the window now. Being different and taking the road less travelled is what made me successful.

You always look incredible on stage, but do you still get nervous before a routine?

Of course I do! There's a lot to think about, and nervous energy is part of what makes a good show. When I feel too much at ease, the show usually doesn't go the way I want it to. I never relax into it. I control my nerves very well, I just do what I need to do to be in the right frame of mind, I have a few little rules to help keep it that way, mostly related to being alone to think and prepare. The cardinal rule is to not let anyone interrupt my backstage alone time.

What would you say is the difference between stripping and burlesque?

The term "Burlesque" as we know it today comes from a type of risque variety show in America that one would go to see in the 1930's and 40's, and performing striptease - stripping - is the word to describe what the burlesque performers did onstage. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact. Nowadays we use the word "burlesque" to describe this retro-styled striptease that is seeing a big revival. Without the strip, it's not burlesque, that's for certain, and the greatest burlesque star that ever lived, Gypsy Rose Lee, called herself a stripper. 'Stripper' is not a bad word, and you aren't going to hear me tell you that there is a difference between burlesque and stripping, because I think that's awfully pretentious to go on and on about how burlesque isn't really stripping - it is! Burlesque-style striptease is where the modern pole dancing type strip originated from, and essentially, we're all related. Initially, I worked in strip clubs, as did most of us that were at the forefront of the burlesque revival in the early 1990s, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I believe that those years spent on strip club stages is part of what makes me good at what I do.

What was it like performing at Crazy Horse?

I have a very high regard and respect for The Crazy Horse, it's a historic place. When I was a teenager, I saw one little picture in Playboy of these beautiful nearly nude 'toy soldiers' lined up, and I was desperate to find out more about this mysterious place. There was no internet yet, and I couldn't find out anything about it. I didn't even have the name of it, just this image that was in my head for all those years. So years later, when I was finally in paris when I was in my early 20s, I kept asking people about these naked 'toy soldiers', and I finally saw the show, and I was amazed. I went to the show every night I was in Paris, and for the next decade I would go see the show every chance I got. I also befriended a Crazy Horse historian and so I would get to see all the archives and meet former dancers. A few years ago I did a photo shoot there, which is something they never allowed, in order to preserve the mystery of the place. Little by little, I became more involved, and I became the first guest star in the history of The Crazy, so that was exciting. Everyone who was anyone went there, since 1951, and for me, just to be in that theatre to see the same stage that all these stars went, from Marlene Dietrich, Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, John F Kennedy, Gypsy Rose Lee, Salvador Dali, the guest list is impressive, and well, I just think it's incredible to think that there was once a time when a show like this was revered like that. It's the art of nude, the glorification of the female form, absolute perfection. There is no show like it on earth, and the history and mystery of this place is amazing. I'm a big fan, and part of my driving force in performing there was to bring attention to this amazing show, and of course I liked the challenge in creating acts for it that are both true to their history and ideals, and at the same time true to mine, which is based in American style classic burlesque, which is what originally inspired the founder to create the Crazy Horse in Paris.

How do you come up with your routines?

Ah well, coming up with the ideas isn't the problem, it's following through that is. I have lots of ideas for shows but then I have to really take some time to think about whether I want to invest the money and time into the idea. It takes a lot of time, effort and money to build one new act, and I am my own financier! Sometimes it can become frustrating because I do build all these big new elaborate shows and I will still get asked to do one of my oldest, simplest shows, like the Martini glass! And when I come up with these opulent new acts, they don't fit on some stages, or it's too expensive to ship...so there are lots of factors that come into play when making a new act.

* Crazy Horse Paris with Dita Von Teese available on DVD nowInterview by Nikki Barr.

Frugal Tip Monday-10 Things Millionaires Won't Tell You

FashionWithoutGuilt — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:24:41 -0800

Money, without it we are not able to enjoy the necessities in life, let alone the luxuries. Loving shopping and fashion as much as I do, I always have a passion for finance and building wealth. By building true wealth you have to be a conscious spender, according to Ramit Sethi of Iwillteachyoutoberich. Aside from being a frugal/savvy shopper, I am concerned about building my wealth for years to come. You hear all these fancy terms and ways you should spend but sometimes I love hearing the real-life scenarios that separate the Poor from the Wealthy. I came across this great article, "10 Things Millionaires Won't Tell You" and immediately a eagerness to see what the story was about. These are some very great points to adapt to your everyday life.
10 Things Millionaires Won't Tell You
“You may think I’m rich, but I don’t.” Real millionaires understand that 1 or 2 million will not take them through the next 30 years.
“I shop at Wal-Mart . . .” Most millionaires how they got there was by buying smart and saving money by clipping coupons. Not shopping at what I like to call "Boutique Supermarkets".
“. . . but I didn’t get rich by skimping on lattes.” Most millionaires,by statistics made their millionaires by being a entrepreneur, not skipping the Starbucks line.
“I have a concierge for everything.” Let's worry about a concierge when you make you millions, average folks can't afford that.
“You don’t get rich by being nice.” I agree with this 100%. Being nice will never get you to the top. You will have to say "no" and mean it. Walk away from things that are not profitable but at the end of the day always keep your integrity. Never burn any bridges but try to get to the top is a lonely road and lots of enemies will come.
“Taxes are for little people.” Plainly put millionaires under taxes and file under capital vs. middle class because middle class is taxed 15% more than capital gain.
“I was a B student.” Clearly states that the straight "A" student is mostly likely not going to be your boss nor business owner, so that means there is hope for me. YYYIIIPPPEEE!!!
“Like my Ferrari? It’s a rental.” They do not spend money on things that are not of true value. Why buy when you can rent?.
“Turns out money can buy happiness.” Research shows that wealth does bring happiness. Roughly 65% of millionaires say that money “created” more happiness for them.
“You worry about the Joneses - I worry about keeping up with the Trumps.” What more can I say to that.
So let me know what you think? Do you Agree or DisAgree? Let me know your thoughts?
Photo Source: Changeyouractions

Exclusive interview with Robert Pattinson! Rob talks Remember Me, Bel Ami, and what makes him happy!

athena4rob — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:00:21 -0800

There's a few indirect spoilers in this so if you wnat to remain spoil-free,don't read this Yesterday I attended a roundtable interview with Robert Pattinson for his upcoming romantic drama Remember Me. I’m a new writer at Collider and it was my first time attending a press junket and participating in a roundtable interview. Let’s just say it was an interesting experience. Anyway, in the coming days, expect more from the junket and I’ll also be contributing TV and film news.Since Rob was there to talk about Remember Me, I was only able to get a small bit of information for you Twilight fans. But about Remember Me, Rob was very passionate about the film and seemed very eager to dive deep into his character, Tyler Hawkins. He spent a lot of time unfolding the elements of Tyler, and discovering how much he had in common with him. Hit the jump for everything Rob had to say. Remember Me gets released March 12.

Was there a time where you were sitting with Alan Coulter and the producer and something clicked for you? Can you talk about why you were attracted to this character, and about taking that step to produce?

Robert Pattinson: Well, the producing thing. (laughs) I’m kind of embarrassed about the producing thing because I wasn’t really acting like a proper producer. I only really came on after the shoot just to kind of help Alan and Nick make sure that the product was what the product in which we all wanted to make in the end. It was the summer after the first Twilight thing. I read it then and I met with Alan and Nick. I thought they were really great, and I talked to them for hours about it. I think basically what I commented to them about was, what shocked me was I was reading a ton of scripts and it just didn’t fall into any, the way the dialogue was written and the plot was structured, it didn’t fit into any kind of normal category. It didn’t seem very formulaic. I had just read tons and tons of formulaic scripts in one genre or another and it was just such a relief to find that. There was also something about Tyler, the way he reacted to things seemed very relatable to me, and I hadn’t seen another character like it in like 100 scripts. So that’s why when the period came up between New Moon and Eclipse, we only had two months, you can’t really do that much, it’s difficult to find a movie which can fit in such a short period. It seemed like the perfect fit.

He’s a rebellious character, especially against his father. Were you attracted to that idea?

Pattinson: I mean, I don’t know if it was so much about just the rebellion that interested me. I liked how it seemed like Tyler didn’t really know what he was rebelling against. It seemed like no matter what his father was like, no matter what everyone around him is like, he’d still be rebelling. There was one interesting thing, I liked how he wasn’t fighting against everybody, he only chose to fight against his father. I think it was a pretty broken family to begin with, and I think he just takes out all of his rage on his father because his father is the only one who can take it. I mean if he tried to attack his mother, she’d probably end up killing herself or something. She’s too wounded to be able to take that. I don’t think it’s particularly typical rebel. It just comes in fits and starts all the time, so I think he’s kind of faking it. I think what he’s really rebelling against is himself.Were there any scenes that were cut from the movie that you wished stayed?
Pattinson: I don’t know, I haven’t seen the final cut. (laughs)
What was your favorite scene to film, then?
Pattinson: I like the scene where Tyler confronts his little sister’s bullies. Basically because I kind of fancy which I would have myself just kind of being the tough guy. Actually there was more of a take that was cut out, or they didn’t use. When I pushed the little girls desk that was bullying her, and the first take I pushed it too hard and she fell on the floor and the desk on her. She looked absolutely terrified after, and it just became this turn into a psychopath. (laughs) And they had to cut it out, because they were like “you wouldn’t just go to jail for vandalism, you’d go for child abuse.” (laughs) That would really change the story. That was quite fun.
Both characters seem to really be embracing life, and I think audiences will really come away with that. What do you think is the overall feeling around love. What will people learn from watching this film?
Pattinson: I think one of the things, which I always liked about it, is that he doesn’t. Like when you meet someone who you feel whatever for, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s a finish line, and that’s like “oh you’ll be alright now afterwards.” I think that worked in the relationship with Allie and Tyler. I think it’s to show that its sort of ok to have, if you just have one moment of happiness, where you can feel that you’re happy, even if it just lasts for a minute. It’s worth a lot. Because I think people now, everyone does all of these things because they think they should be happy like all the time. Doing therapy, and taking anti-depressants and all of these things. If you’re happy all of the time, it’s difficult to acknowledge when you actually are happy.
What makes you happy?
Pattinson: I don’t know. It’s like these weird little things. It’s like what I was trying to put across in the movie, when funny little things happen, it’s not just meeting Allie, it’s all of these things kind of melds together and it hits you from left field, and you’re just like “oh yeah, I’m happy” (laughs)
This movie is so steep. The locations are amazing in the film, and it feels so authentically New York. What’s interesting to me is so much of the cast aren’t New Yorkers and don’t have a New York accent, and you’re Brooklyn accent is on point. I wonder if, working on that, what kind of research you did, or if you knew a lot about New York in 2001. And what it was like to film in the streets of New York?
Pattinson: My sister lived in New York for like 5 years and I used to go visit her all the time. I don’t know. When I read the script there seemed to be a sort of voice that was just there as soon as you read it. I’ve never had a dialect coach or anything. Ironically I’ve only had a dialect coach for this film I’m doing now, which I’m doing now in an English accent. (laughs) I guess I’ve forgotten how to do an English accent.
But what was it like for you to film in Queens, at NYU, what was that like?
Pattinson: It was nice. Obviously it was great for doing stuff at NYU, you’re filming at NYU, which is perfect. I like this bar, I went in there a few times before we starting shooting. That’s not really research. (laughing) Oh yeah I just went to a couple of bars. (laughs)
So that was a sum total of your New York research?
Pattinson: (laughs) No, I mean it was nice. I was sort of staying, it’s difficult to go out and stuff there at the time. I’ve gone out more in New York since. There’s funny little things which happened, experiences which I had in New York which were put into the script. Like a friend of mine, the whole fight in the beginning, how that was all set up, it happened to a friend of mine the day before we did the rewrites to the script. We were down in Alphabet City, and this guy jumped out of the car with a little mini baseball bat and just hit my friend in the face. The whole thing. It was literally the day before. The whole thing was put into the movie. (laughing) Annoyingly, I didn’t react in the same way. (laughing)
You ran?
Pattinson: (laughing) I didn’t see what was happening until it was too late. (laughs) Even when the police asked me, they asked all the people around to give a testimony. The police looked at me and was like “oh it’s alright you don’t have to give one”, and it was because of the Twilight thing. I was like “no, I want to give a testimony!” (laughing) “I want to be a witness!”
Alan spoke a lot about your focus that you had to maintain while shooting because of the constant paparazzi attention and the screaming fans. What was that like for you to shoot such an emotional movie under the eye of people Twittering about it, and people screaming at you?
Pattinson: It’s like the first two weeks were kind of crazy, because I was all around NYU and Washington Square park and there’d be tons of people around anyway. I think it was annoying people as well, that all of these crowds came and disrupted peoples days, so that was really difficult at the beginning. But, I think after that you just get used to it. You just block certain things out. I was trying to figure out a way to use the sort of rage that was built up, but you couldn’t really use it for that character. If the same thing had happened during this movie that I’m doing now, it would have been perfect and I could have gone around hitting paparazzi and stuff and it would have been great because I would have been staying in character. (laughs) But it didn’t really work for Tyler, he’s not that kind of guy.
Do you see yourself trying to sort of make a big gap between Twilight and everything else you do so people realize there this…something so different from the phenomenon that everybody focus on?More to you…
Pattinson: No, I don’t really focus on trying to do it, I don’t think. I pick scripts the same way, I think, that I’ve always done. I barely like anything, and so it’s kind of easy to pick your jobs. The things which I’m signed onto now are all completely different. Like I’m playing a white Comanche in one thing and the parts completely in Comanche. Bel Ami is, I thought there was a kind of irony in Bel Ami as well, because a lot of the women are attracted to this character and then he kind of screws them over and steals their money and stuff. (laughs) Which I thought was quite funny compared to the Twilight character. (laughing) It’s kind of the polar opposite. It wasn’t intentional, I just thought Bel Ami was very funny, and it’s a very interesting character. With Remember Me, I’d never done a simple story before, and it’s not that simple, but its playing a normal guy and trying to relate to things on a normal level it’s kind of relief in a lot of ways.
It reminded me of James Dean on a slight, with the rebel without a cause. Did you think of him in sort of a classical way? When you said he’s rebelling against himself, that this is just someone who’s just someone who’s sort of in a fury about the way the world is.
Pattinson: I think it’s a fairly typical state to be in. I think there’s that element, but I was also interested in the kind of, in Tyler there was a lot of elements of sort of arrogance things about him, which I thought were quite interesting. To have a loss in your family, and then I think a lot of the fighting in his family is because he feels like the attention has kind of gone off of him a bit. You have these petty things, which turn you into this iconic rebel or whatever, and it’s just based on these silly things, kind of like almost despicable emotions that you have about it. I tried to make that apparent in Remember Me. There’s a reason why James Dean stereotype is so common, especially in actors, I think. I think its pretty real. It’s also an ideal for young guys I think. I think, anyway. Because as soon as you stop struggling against something, what have you got to do? That’s the whole point being young, struggling against things.
Your chemistry with the younger sister character was so strong. Can you talk about what you had to do, and if there was anything different you had to do finding that with a child actor?
Pattinson: She did everything; I mean completely. On the first day I met her. Me, Alan, and Emilie were sitting around discussing our scenes together and she hadn’t really said anything, and I kind of asked just to be nice. I was just like [ducking his head down and talking just above a whisper] “so, you know what do you think about it?” And she’s sitting there with her pencil and engaged in this whole diatribe of her characters back story and everything, and in the most interesting way. And she’d be writing notes, about all of the stuff we were saying, like quoting what we were saying. She’s phenomenal. She’s going to be a massive actress, I think. She’s the best improviser I’ve ever met. You can literally say anything to her, and she’ll completely stay in character. Even if the camera is not on her, she’ll stay completely in character the whole time. Also, she’s no actressy as well. She’s kind of like one of those weird, hyper-intelligent, hyper-mature kid. Then I saw her with her little friends and just like a little girl when you see her with her friends. I just don’t understand how that happens at all. She’s so easy to act with, you don’t have to do anything, just look at her. It’s the first time since the day I began acting where I just feel completely unselfconscious, because I could feel that she wasn’t at all and it rubs off on me. I love when she was like “you’re so retarted” (laughs) That’s just an 11 year old girl thing to say.
How was it to work with Emilie?
Pattinson: She’s great, yeah. And completely different to what I…what I thought was going to be cast.
Are you a fan of LOST?
Pattinson: I’ve never seen it
What are your thoughts on the Breaking Dawn being two films?Pattinson: I really don’t mind either way.

18 moving in with boyfriend...read for details. i need tips.

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 20:33:55 -0800

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now...it will be a year next week. I'm turning 18 in May and in April my bofriend will be turning 20. I'm not big into directly going to a 4 year college because i'd rather save money than waste it if i'm possibly going to change my major. The community college that my boyfriend goes to has a nationally accredited education program which is what i am interested in. I got my mom to a certain point where she knows that i want to go there and she knows that my college choice is my decision (alot of fighting was involved in this). Seeing as how my mom is a single parent i get more financial aid than other kids and along with money that i have saved up over years i have enough to pay for this community college. There is a "dorm" on campus but i'd rather not live there because i'm not one to be roommates, or friends, or people i don't know...i have huge trust issues with new people. My boyfriend lives close to the school with his parents and in their house they have two guests bedrooms. We've talked to his parents about the possible of me staying there next year and not on campus and his parents are all for it because they know how expensive it is to live on campus and how much better it would be if i was staying there rather than in a dorm where they "couldn't keep an eye on us."
My mom doesn't know about my plan to move in with my boyfriend and i would really like some tips on how i can get my mom on my side. Please don't tell me i'm too young or that if we break up what i'll do. We have a break up plan and i know i'm young but i would really just like some tips please.
thank you!

A finance challenge

PeachyKeen19 — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:13:24 -0800

I found this interesting link:

http://www.ncnblog.com/2009/02/02/dedicate-7-hours-for-healthier-finance...

Millions of Unemployed Face Years Without Jobs

Roarman — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:42:41 -0800

Even as the American economy shows tentative signs of a rebound, the human toll of the recession continues to mount, with millions of Americans remaining out of work, out of savings and nearing the end of their unemployment benefits.

Economists fear that the nascent recovery will leave more people behind than in past recessions, failing to create jobs in sufficient numbers to absorb the record-setting ranks of the long-term unemployed.

Call them the new poor: people long accustomed to the comforts of middle-class life who are now relying on public assistance for the first time in their lives - potentially for years to come.

Yet the social safety net is already showing severe strains. Roughly 2.7 million jobless people will lose their unemployment check before the end of April unless Congress approves the Obama administration’s proposal to extend the payments, according to the Labor Department.

Here in Southern California, Jean Eisen has been without work since she lost her job selling beauty salon equipment more than two years ago. In the several months she has endured with neither a paycheck nor an unemployment check, she has relied on local food banks for her groceries.

She has learned to live without the prescription medications she is supposed to take for high blood pressure and cholesterol. She has become effusively religious - an unexpected turn for this onetime standup comic with X-rated material - finding in Christianity her only form of health insurance.

“I pray for healing,” says Ms. Eisen, 57. “When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got to go with what you know.”

Warm, outgoing and prone to the positive, Ms. Eisen has worked much of her life. Now, she is one of 6.3 million Americans who have been unemployed for six months or longer, the largest number since the government began keeping track in 1948. That is more than double the toll in the next-worst period, in the early 1980s.

Men have suffered the largest numbers of job losses in this recession. But Ms. Eisen has the unfortunate distinction of being among a group - women from 45 to 64 years of age - whose long-term unemployment rate has grown rapidly.

In 1983, after a deep recession, women in that range made up only 7 percent of those who had been out of work for six months or longer, according to the Labor Department. Last year, they made up 14 percent.

Twice, Ms. Eisen exhausted her unemployment benefits before her check was restored by a federal extension. Last week, her check ran out again. She and her husband now settle their bills with only his $1,595 monthly disability check. The rent on their apartment is $1,380.

“We’re looking at the very real possibility of being homeless,” she said.

Every downturn pushes some people out of the middle class before the economy resumes expanding. Most recover. Many prosper. But some economists worry that this time could be different. An unusual constellation of forces - some embedded in the modern-day economy, others unique to this wrenching recession - might make it especially difficult for those out of work to find their way back to their middle-class lives.

Labor experts say the economy needs 100,000 new jobs a month just to absorb entrants to the labor force. With more than 15 million people officially jobless, even a vigorous recovery is likely to leave an enormous number out of work for years.

Some labor experts note that severe economic downturns are generally followed by powerful expansions, suggesting that aggressive hiring will soon resume. But doubts remain about whether such hiring can last long enough to absorb anywhere close to the millions of unemployed.

A New Scarcity of Jobs

Some labor experts say the basic functioning of the American economy has changed in ways that make jobs scarce - particularly for older, less-educated people like Ms. Eisen, who has only a high school diploma.

Large companies are increasingly owned by institutional investors who crave swift profits, a feat often achieved by cutting payroll. The declining influence of unions has made it easier for employers to shift work to part-time and temporary employees. Factory work and even white-collar jobs have moved in recent years to low-cost countries in Asia and Latin America. Automation has helped manufacturing cut 5.6 million jobs since 2000 - the sort of jobs that once provided lower-skilled workers with middle-class paychecks.

“American business is about maximizing shareholder value,” said Allen Sinai, chief global economist at the research firm Decision Economics. “You basically don’t want workers. You hire less, and you try to find capital equipment to replace them.”

During periods of American economic expansion in the 1950s, ’60s and ’70s, the number of private-sector jobs increased about 3.5 percent a year, according to an analysis of Labor Department data by Lakshman Achuthan, managing director of the Economic Cycle Research Institute, a research firm. During expansions in the 1980s and ’90s, jobs grew just 2.4 percent annually. And during the last decade, job growth fell to 0.9 percent annually.

“The pace of job growth has been getting weaker in each expansion,” Mr. Achuthan said. “There is no indication that this pattern is about to change.”

Before 1990, it took an average of 21 months for the economy to regain the jobs shed during a recession, according to an analysis of Labor Department data by the National Employment Law Project and the Economic Policy Institute, a labor-oriented research group in Washington.

After the recessions in 1990 and in 2001, 31 and 46 months passed before employment returned to its previous peaks. The economy was growing, but companies remained conservative in their hiring.

Some 34 million people were hired into new and existing private-sector jobs in 2000, at the tail end of an expansion, according to Labor Department data. A year later, in the midst of recession, hiring had fallen off to 31.6 million. And as late as 2003, with the economy again growing, hiring in the private sector continued to slip, to 29.8 million.

It was a jobless recovery: Business was picking up, but it simply did not translate into more work. This time, hiring may be especially subdued, labor economists say.

Traditionally, three sectors have led the way out of recession: automobiles, home building and banking. But auto companies have been shrinking because strapped households have less buying power. Home building is limited by fears about a glut of foreclosed properties. Banking is expanding, but this seems largely a function of government support that is being withdrawn.

At the same time, the continued bite of the financial crisis has crimped the flow of money to small businesses and new ventures, which tend to be major sources of new jobs.

All of which helps explain why Ms. Eisen - who has never before struggled to find work - feels a familiar pain each time she scans job listings on her computer: There are positions in health care, most requiring experience she lacks. Office jobs demand familiarity with software she has never used. Jobs at fast food restaurants are mostly secured by young people and immigrants.

If, as Mr. Sinai expects, the economy again expands without adding many jobs, millions of people like Ms. Eisen will be dependent on an unemployment insurance already being severely tested.

“The system was ill prepared for the reality of long-term unemployment,” said Maurice Emsellem, a policy director for the National Employment Law Project. “Now, you add a severe recession, and you have created a crisis of historic proportions.”

Fewer Protections

Some poverty experts say the broader social safety net is not up to cushioning the impact of the worst downturn since the Great Depression. Social services are less extensive than during the last period of double-digit unemployment, in the early 1980s.

On average, only two-thirds of unemployed people received state-provided unemployment checks last year, according to the Labor Department. The rest either exhausted their benefits, fell short of requirements or did not apply.

“You have very large sets of people who have no social protections,” said Randy Albelda, an economist at the University of Massachusetts in Boston. “They are landing in this netherworld.”

When Ms. Eisen and her husband, Jeff, applied for food stamps, they were turned away for having too much monthly income. The cutoff was $1,570 a month - $25 less than her husband’s disability check.

Reforms in the mid-1990s imposed time limits on cash assistance for poor single mothers, a change predicated on the assumption that women would trade welfare checks for paychecks.

Yet as jobs have become harder to get, so has welfare: as of 2006, 44 states cut off anyone with a household income totaling 75 percent of the poverty level - then limited to $1,383 a month for a family of three - according to an analysis by Ms. Albelda.

“We have a work-based safety net without any work,” said Timothy M. Smeeding, director of the Institute for Research on Poverty at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. “People with more education and skills will probably figure something out once the economy picks up. It’s the ones with less education and skills: that’s the new poor.”

Here in Orange County, the expanse of suburbia stretching south from Los Angeles, long-term unemployment reaches even those who once had six-figure salaries. A center of the national mortgage industry, the area prospered in the real estate boom and suffered with the bust.

Until she was laid off two years ago, Janine Booth, 41, brought home roughly $10,000 a month in commissions from her job selling electronics to retailers. A single mother of three, she has been living lately on $2,000 a month in child support and about $450 a week in unemployment insurance - a stream of checks that ran out last week.

For Ms. Booth, work has been a constant since her teenage years, when she cleaned houses under pressure from her mother to earn pocket money. Today, Ms. Booth pays her $1,500 monthly mortgage with help from her mother, who is herself living off savings after being laid off.

“I don’t want to take money from her,” Ms. Booth said. “I just want to find a job.”

Ms. Booth, with a résumé full of well-paid sales jobs, seems the sort of person who would have little difficulty getting work. Yet two years of looking have yielded little but anxiety.

She sends out dozens of résumés a week and rarely hears back. She responds to online ads, only to learn they are seeking operators for telephone sex lines or people willing to send mysterious packages from their homes.

She spends weekdays in a classroom in Anaheim, in a state-financed training program that is supposed to land her a job in medical administration. Even if she does find a job, she will be lucky if it pays $15 an hour.

“What is going to happen?” she asked plaintively. “I worry about my kids. I just don’t want them to think I’m a failure.”

On a recent weekend, she was running errands with her 18-year-old son when they stopped at an A.T.M. and he saw her checking account balance: $50.

“He says, ‘Is that all you have?’ ” she recalled. “ ‘Are we going to be O.K.?’ ”

Yes, she replied - and not only for his benefit.

“I have to keep telling myself it’s going to be O.K.,” she said. “Otherwise, I’d go into a deep depression.”

Last week, she made up fliers advertising her eagerness to clean houses - the same activity that provided her with spending money in high school, and now the only way she sees fit to provide for her kids. She plans to place the fliers on porches in some other neighborhood.

“I don’t want to clean my neighbors’ houses,” she said. “I know I’m going to come out of this. There’s no way I’m going to be homeless and poverty-stricken. But I am scared. I have a lot of sleepless nights.”

For the Eisens, poverty is already here. In the two years Ms. Eisen has been without work, they have exhausted their savings of about $24,000. Their credit card balances have grown to $15,000.

“I don’t know how we’re still indoors,” she said.

Her 1994 Dodge Caravan broke down in January, leaving her to ask for rides to an employment center.

She does not have the money to move to a cheaper apartment.

“You have to have money for first and last month’s rent, and to open utility accounts,” she said.

What she has is personality and presence - two traits that used to seem enough. She narrates her life in a stream of self-deprecating wisecracks, her punch lines tinged with desperation.

“See that,” she said, spotting a man dressed as the Statue of Liberty. Standing on a sidewalk, he waved at passing cars with a sign advertising a tax preparation business. “That will be me next week. Do you think this guy ever thought he’d be doing this?”

And yet, she would gladly do this. She would do nearly anything.

“There are no bad jobs now,” she says. “Any job is a good job.”

She has applied everywhere she can think of - at offices, at gas stations. Nothing.

“I’m being seen as a person who is no longer viable,” she said. “I’m chalking it up to my age and my weight. Blame it on your most prominent insecurity.”

Two Incomes, Then None

Ms. Eisen grew up poor, in Flatbush in Brooklyn. Her father was in maintenance. Her mother worked part time at a company that made window blinds.

She married Jeff when she was 19, and they soon moved to California, where he had grown up. He worked in sales for a chemical company. They rented an apartment in Buena Park, a growing spread of houses filling out former orange groves. She stayed home and took care of their daughter.

“I never asked him how much he earned,” Ms. Eisen said. “I was of the mentality that the husband took care of everything. But we never wanted.”

By the early 1980s, gas and rent strained their finances. So she took a job as a quality assurance clerk at a factory that made aircraft parts. It paid $13.50 an hour and had health insurance.

When the company moved to Mexico in the early 1990s, Ms. Eisen quickly found a job at a travel agency. When online booking killed that business, she got the job at the beauty salon equipment company. It paid $13.25 an hour, with an annual bonus - enough for presents under the Christmas tree.

But six years ago, her husband took a fall at work and then succumbed to various ailments - diabetes, liver disease, high blood pressure - leaving him confined to the couch. Not until 2008 did he secure his disability check.

And now they find themselves in this desert of joblessness, her paycheck replaced by a $702 unemployment check every other week. She received 14 weeks of benefits after she lost her job, and then a seven-week extension.

For most of October through December 2008, she received nothing, as she waited for another extension. The checks came again, then ran out in September 2009. They were restored by an extension right before Christmas.

Their daughter has back problems and is living on disability checks, making the church their ultimate safety net.

“I never thought I’d be in the position where I had to go to a food bank,” Ms. Eisen said. But there she is, standing in the parking lot of the Calvary Chapel church, chatting with a half-dozen women, all waiting to enter the Bread of Life Food Pantry.

When her name is called, she steps into a windowless alcove, where a smiling woman hands her three bags of groceries: carrots, potatoes, bread, cheese and a hunk of frozen meat.

“Haven’t we got a lot to be thankful for?” Ms. Eisen asks.

For one thing, no pinto beans.

“I’ve got 10 bags of pinto beans,” she says. “And I have no clue how to cook a pinto bean.”

Local job listings are just as mysterious. On a bulletin board at the county-financed ProPath Business and Career Services Center, many are written in jargon hinting of accounting or computers.

“Nothing I’m qualified for,” Ms. Eisen says. “When you can’t define what it is, that’s a pretty good indication.”

Her counselor has a couple of possibilities - a cashier at a supermarket and a night desk job at a motel.

“I’ll e-mail them,” Ms. Eisen promises. “I’ll tell them what a shining example of humanity I am.”

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/21/business/economy/21unemployed.html?sq=... New Poor&st=cse&scp=1&pagewanted=all