I really don't see why this is baffling behavior. No one is twisting people's arm making them contribute. Obviously they want to help.

We're going to do something similar with wedding gifts and are not registering anywhere. We've lived together for 7 years. We don't need anything....except a nice little vacation that, after paying for the wedding and all these people to eat, drink, and dance the night away, will pretty much ensure funds being too low to afford. So, we're going to nicely suggest that if they choose to give a gift that it help to fund our trip.

I don't see why that's a big deal.

And what the hell am I supposed to do with all the stupid house crap people give when I already have it?!

Maybe I'm too traditional but I just don't believe in giving cash as a gift. I think it's tacky and thoughtless. I can understand if it was coming from a parent to help out but I would rather give it in the form of a physical present or gift card to a store/restaurant.
On a similar note, I went to a wedding in Turkey and their tradition was to have guests pin gold to the sashes that the bride and groom wore. They could then sell the gold for money if they needed to. Even though the it's the same as giving money, it seemed a lot less crude.

I don't have a problem with it as long as they wouldn't expect me to donate to their PayPal thing AND get them a gift. I usually give people cash for their wedding gift anyway; this just seems like a good way to speed up the process and take some of the hassle of it.

I dont understand why so many people get bent out of shape about the money/cash thing.

We are no longer a traditionalist society and lets face the facts.... the majority of our society lives in some sort of debt.

Not everyone can get their parents to pay for their entire wedding (or even a little of it). I am in a wedding in a couple months and the bride and groom took out a $10k loan to pay for it.... oh and applied to a couple credit cards.

I personally have been with my BF for 9 years and we are not married becasue we refuse to go into a marrige in debt (and yes, I want a wedding). The alternative was waiting until we had careers and enough money to not have to worry about going into debt (or people judging us severely for asking for money instead of plates that I dont need)

About cash gifts, sometimes it's cultural. In some cultures, like the Chinese culture, cash gifts (in the form of red envelopes) is traditional.

Personally, I wouldn't mind charging my gift via PayPal. I would get a rebate credit from my credit card.

I ran out of space, but I'm not done yet...

Who the HELL do you think you are? The WORLD owes you a living? Or your f*cking perfect wedding or reception? We (the collective we, those of us who they deigned to send their very SPECIFIC wedding and gift requests to invites to) Or for us to fund whatever the hell you want to do next? God, I hope you people don't decide to have children. You people are seriously crazy in the head about your entitlement fantasies.

Anon #1:

"We've lived together for 7 years. We don't need anything....except a nice little vacation that, after paying for the wedding and all these people to eat, drink, and dance the night away, will pretty much ensure funds being too low to afford. So, we're going to nicely suggest that if they choose to give a gift that it help to fund our trip.
I don't see why that's a big deal.
And what the hell am I supposed to do with all the stupid house crap people give when I already have it?!

Kred:

"I dont understand why so many people get bent out of shape about the money/cash thing.
We are no longer a traditionalist society and lets face the facts.... the majority of our society lives in some sort of debt.
Not everyone can get their parents to pay for their entire wedding (or even a little of it). I am in a wedding in a couple months and the bride and groom took out a $10k loan to pay for it.... oh and applied to a couple credit cards.
I personally have been with my BF for 9 years and we are not married becasue we refuse to go into a marrige in debt (and yes, I want a wedding). The alternative was waiting until we had careers and enough money to not have to worry about going into debt (or people judging us severely for asking for money instead of plates that I dont need)

WHAT THE HOLY f*ck IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!

NINE YEARS? SEVEN YEARS? YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL THE STUPID HOUSE CRAP YOU NEED?

You're on our own, apparently pay all your own bills, and yet here, in this forum, you are trying to defend your f*cking greedy attitude by how? saying what?

I don't mind giving cash as a gift, but I find it incredibly tacky to ask for cash as a gift.

Very tacky IMO. If you are so hard up for cash that you have to ask for donations to have your wedding, just elope or have a *truly* intimate ceremony (sorry, 75 guests isn't a "small intimate wedding"). If you're really getting married because you have found someone you love and want to be with for the rest of your life, who cares about the party that goes along with the ceremony? Invite your closest friends and family to city hall, get hitched, and have a nicer vow renewal in ten years when you can afford it without asking people for money.

I agree with Chouette4u. Asking for money to fund your wedding is beyond tacky.

There's something wrong with today's culture when people think that it's okay to start their married lives in debt in order to throw an elaborate wedding. Couples should have the wedding that they can afford. I could never spend my friends' money on silly things like specialty linens or fancy invites.

Very tacky, asking for money to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford it, don't do it. I usually give money or a gift off the registry but it's not to pay for the wedding. Especially a couple I don't know.

still not as tacky as some of the anonymous comments on this page.

i don't think that either term really works here. this isn't the first time that we've heard about this type of thing happening, and i guess you have to do what you have to do. to be honest, i was expecting people to give more $$ to my husband and myself for our wedding which would have helped pay for the cost of things, but we didn't really get much of anything. (and it's not like we got gifts instead. not to be mean, but people were kind of cheap). i guess in this economy, any way that you can make a few extra dollars to pay for things is the best way to go.

Indeed, snarkypants, indeed.

In any case, I guess by western standards a lot of Asian weddings would be considered tacky since a lot of them are typically funded by family, relatives, and close friends. It's a cultural thing and a good financial start for the newlyweds, imo.

I would never do that but it seems like it's becoming more and more common for people to demand what they want.

I think this is rude. It is one thing for people to give you money at their own free will. But it is an entirely different thing to ask for money.

I think its really tacky to ask for money to pay for your wedding or your honeymoon or your future house or whatever! Actually, it's tacky to ASK for gifts at all. You can register at places, of course, but those are more suggestions of what to get IF you are going to get a gift. No one is required to get you a gift for your wedding. It's actually the opposite- couples should never expect gifts, they are lucky if they get them. I'm planning my wedding and honestly Id love to be able to ask for money from every person possible, but like some of the other posters said, dont do something that you arent able to afford. I am very fortunate that my dad and my fiance's parents are helping us with our wedding, but our budget still isn't 100% ideal. Regardless, I would never ask someone for money for anything wedding related. It's rude and classless.