Aug 6 2010 - 6:00am This question comes from Gennarator in the Ask Savvy group.
Dear Savvy,
I just got engaged to my boyfriend of four years. We have lived together for four and a half years (roommates before).
I can totally see how combining bank accounts is a big step. So, my husband and I just got a joint together and then kept our other accounts too. For groups expenses it goes into our joint
account and then we each have "fun" money in our personal accounts.
There are a lot of different ways to organize it, so do what you are comfortable with!
My fiance and I got engaged recently and decided to open a joint account for wedding-related expenses that will turn into our marital account after the wedding. This way, we can both save
whatever money possible for the wedding but still maintain our own bank accounts for paying bills, etc. until the bills become communal.
If you decide to have a joint account, I think it will be easier after you get married. I'm recently married and my new husband opened a new account, at a different bank than either of us
used before.
I found it easier to do AFTER marriage because I changed my name - it was one less thing to worry about. The new account was opened after my name was officially changed, then I just
transferred my money from the old account and closed it.
Maybe I'm alone on this but... I almost feel like pushing hard for a joint bank account speaks more of trust issues than not wanting, or waiting, to combine. I mean, isn't one of the reasons
people join accounts is so that both parties can keep tabs on money? Shouldn't both partners be able to trust one another's spending habits with separate accounts? :/
I'd do the same thing as lauren and get a joint account for group purchases and keep my own account for personal spending. There's just something about putting all your money into one account
that seems wrong. Why shouldn't you be able to keep some of your own hard-earned money in a separate account to be used at your discretion??
I have long been told that the secret to a happy marriage is to keep your own money. That means one joint account for shared expenses, and nothing else. (If there's a disparity in how much
you take home in pay, I've also been advised that both of you contribute the same percentage of your paycheck, not the same dollar amount, to be fair.)
To me, this is just smart. Separate accounts mean you know where to draw the line between your obligations to the home/a shared life, and yes, "fun money." Also, do what YOU feel comfortable
with. Don't let your fiance judge your own financial instincts as "trust issues." If he demands proof, the trust isn't there on his end.
Thanks for all of the advice! For now we both decided to put the combined bank account on hold but will eventually (closer to our wedding) open a joint account for shared expenses and keep
our individual accounts. We'll see how that works out for us.
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8 Comments Post a Comment
I can totally see how combining bank accounts is a big step. So, my husband and I just got a joint together and then kept our other accounts too. For groups expenses it goes into our joint account and then we each have "fun" money in our personal accounts.
There are a lot of different ways to organize it, so do what you are comfortable with!
1My fiance and I got engaged recently and decided to open a joint account for wedding-related expenses that will turn into our marital account after the wedding. This way, we can both save whatever money possible for the wedding but still maintain our own bank accounts for paying bills, etc. until the bills become communal.
2What's the difference if you do it now or in a year?
3If you decide to have a joint account, I think it will be easier after you get married. I'm recently married and my new husband opened a new account, at a different bank than either of us used before.
I found it easier to do AFTER marriage because I changed my name - it was one less thing to worry about. The new account was opened after my name was officially changed, then I just transferred my money from the old account and closed it.
4Maybe I'm alone on this but... I almost feel like pushing hard for a joint bank account speaks more of trust issues than not wanting, or waiting, to combine. I mean, isn't one of the reasons people join accounts is so that both parties can keep tabs on money? Shouldn't both partners be able to trust one another's spending habits with separate accounts? :/
5I'd do the same thing as lauren and get a joint account for group purchases and keep my own account for personal spending. There's just something about putting all your money into one account that seems wrong. Why shouldn't you be able to keep some of your own hard-earned money in a separate account to be used at your discretion??
6I have long been told that the secret to a happy marriage is to keep your own money. That means one joint account for shared expenses, and nothing else. (If there's a disparity in how much you take home in pay, I've also been advised that both of you contribute the same percentage of your paycheck, not the same dollar amount, to be fair.)
To me, this is just smart. Separate accounts mean you know where to draw the line between your obligations to the home/a shared life, and yes, "fun money." Also, do what YOU feel comfortable with. Don't let your fiance judge your own financial instincts as "trust issues." If he demands proof, the trust isn't there on his end.
7Thanks for all of the advice! For now we both decided to put the combined bank account on hold but will eventually (closer to our wedding) open a joint account for shared expenses and keep our individual accounts. We'll see how that works out for us.
8Post New Comment
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