office etiquette

We've all been there — an amazing idea pops into your head and, without even realizing it, you've interrupted whomever is speaking to share your thought. Talking over others stops the flow of conversation and is also disrespectful to the person speaking. This faux pas is forgivable from time to time, but when it becomes a persistent characteristic, interrupting may cost you your job . . . and even a few friends. Along with learning how to be patient, retraining your brain to change how it responds to instant ideas can curb your interrupting ways. Here are a few tips to take into consideration:

• Write it down: When listening, if a great thought comes to mind, discretely write it down in a notebook while keeping up with the conversation, especially when meeting with senior managers or important clients. Wait for a break in conversation before asserting your opinion or new ideas.
• Ask a question: Instead of busting someone's talking flow, wait until the end of a thought and share your view phrased as a question. Yes, you're still cutting in, but asking a question creates an opportunity to offer new ideas and thoughts while sticking with the direction of the discussion.
• Get help: Enlist an office buddy or good friend to tip you off when you interrupt. Come up with a special hand signal or give your helper the OK to deliver a swift kick under the table to curb your interrupting ways.

Keep reading for more helpful tips.

Peppering your conversations with "like" can seem like the norm or even cool in high school, but when it comes to the working world, it can discredit your professionalism. You might as well throw in a "whatever" or "as if!" while you're at it. It disrupts the flow of your conversation, and also makes you sound unsure of what you are saying.

However, this doesn't mean that you can't use the word at all. The word "like" is properly used in some instances:

• You're comparing the similarity between two items: This shirt is like the one I have.
• You favor something: I like him
• You're giving an example: A sport like football.

Here are some things you can do to curb the use of the filler:

• Record yourself: Try to record yourself talking on the phone with a friend and watch how often you say the word. This will make you more aware of how much you say "like." You may start automatically noticing your usage when you're talking.
• Make a conscious effort: Make an effort to stop saying "like" in all your conversations. The more you practice, the more second nature it'll become to you.
• Join Toastmasters: Join your local Toastmasters to improve your public speaking skills, which most definitely will include the banning of the use of the word "like."
• Slow down: You may be interjecting the word "like" in your conversation as fillers because you need more time to process your thoughts before you speak. Start slowing down your speech and take pauses when you need them. People often worry about pauses making the conversation uncomfortable, but it actually shows that you're thinking before you speak, which is always a positive trait.

In a perfect world, we'd love our job and all our colleagues. However, the truth is, people come from all walks of life, and you may not get along with everyone. Here are some starter tips to dealing with the various difficult co-workers you may encounter at your job:

• Micromanager: It's always better to overreport than to underreport with a micromanager. Keeping her in the loop may be tiring, but it'll go a long way to assuage her concerns and need for control. It may also deepen the trust between the two of you, which may lead her to relinquish some of her micromanaging ways. Before starting on a project, talk out the nitty-gritty details and what the extent of her involvement will be.
• Disorganized procrastinator: Do you feel like every time you send her an email it gets sucked into a black vortex, never to be seen again? Or maybe you've given up hope on a project that's years overdue. If your colleague lacks structure, you need to give it to her when you work with her. Set deadlines and schedules in your interactions and try to help her be accountable for her actions.
• Ultimate competitor: Any interaction with the ultimate competitor feels like a race to the finish line, but try not to get caught up in it. Do your best to divide work equally, and make sure you give credit where it's due or she might feel threatened. Set boundaries and don't let her attitude affect you. If you're worried about her taking credit for your ideas, keep records of them and try to keep them to yourself until you're able to share it with a larger audience.
• Chatty chipmunk: It's great to get to know a co-worker better, but sometimes hearing about her kids when you have work to do really isn't an ideal situation. If you don't want to be rude, one idea is to get up and continue the conversation while walking to her desk, which she will naturally sit down at. Then continue pleasantries for a bit, before making your goodbyes and heading back.

Read on for more.

If you're rubbing your hands with glee at the thought of playing an April Fools' prank on your co-workers, read through my list of things not to do in the office. You may be able to pull off some of these jokes, but it probably won't be funny to your co-workers. Remember, although April 1 is a fun holiday, there is a professional protocol in the office that you still need to take heed of.

• Send in a Resignation Letter: Sending your boss a resignation letter is serious business, and when she finds out that your letter is a gag, I don't think she'll find it very funny. If you want to hang tight to your job, you might want to avoid playing this prank in the office.
• Say You're Terminally Sick: I've actually had a friend who claimed he had a short time left to live among his friends, and seeing as it wasn't very funny to my friends, it'll be even more inappropriate for the office.

For more inappropriate jokes at the office, read on.

If you work at a place where having casual Fridays would be a huge celebration, chances are you're not alone. Strict dress codes can make you feel like you're living in a uniform every day, but by following the right tips, you'll find that it's not the end of the (working) world.

• Accept it: As much of a bummer as it may be, there's really no getting around a strict dress code. Plus, there's probably a legitimate reason behind the policy, depending on your job: safety concerns, working with government officials, etc. As soon as you learn that you can't do anything about it, you'll realize that there are ways to work around it.
• Focus on the details: Sure, trousers and pencil skirts might be among your closet staples, but many of these items come with standout details these days. Think striped prints or metallic zippers that will add some character to your outfit.
• Find other ways to make a statement: Everyone's heard the phrase "accessories make the outfit," and your work ensemble is no exception. Shoes, scarves, belts, and jewelry with some pizzazz can make a big difference in how you look and, more importantly, how you feel about your everyday appearance.
• Think in layers: There might be several nights a week that you don't go straight home. For those occasions, dress in layers; for example, a trendy top covered up by a crewneck sweater by day will be perfect for a night out or for a postwork happy hour. Versatility is key!

It's easy to get a feel for what the wardrobe etiquette is in your office — just look at what everyone's wearing. However, fashion mishaps do happen, and to prevent yourself from committing an embarrassing clothing faux pas, we turned to an expert. Annie Ladino, a celebrity stylist who recently worked with Harper's Bazaar to give MBA women wardrobe makeovers, shared some some definite no's for any office:

• "As a rule of thumb, keep any beachwear or gym clothes at home."
• "In the hot Summer months, while sleeveless can be appropriate, strapless and spaghetti straps never are."
• "Finally, it should go without saying, but flip-flops never belong in the corporate corridor."

There are some people who breeze through social gatherings. They seem to sparkle when they're surrounded by people. Then there is the other end of the spectrum — perhaps the introverts — who shy away from social situations. After all, it's hard to converse with people when every word that comes out of your mouth seems cringe-worthy. Unfortunately, being social is part and parcel with life and can even impact your career advancement. If you find yourself tongue-tied around colleagues, brush up on these conversation starters so there won't be any awkward silences:

• The weather. Although it's cliche, the talk of weather can become a lengthy conversation. You can start comparing how the weather was a year prior or a few days ago or even talk about what it's going to be like in the coming days.
• Weekend. The weekend is another great conversation starter because it can lead to many different topics. You can talk about what you did, and that will probably lead to other conversations on your interests or people you spent time with.
• Following up. Do you remember what you last talked to a co-worker about? Bring that up again and ask her about it. Or if you remember a life event she underwent or is looking forward to, such as a wedding or a trip, be sure to ask her about it.
• The holidays. There's always so much to talk about when it comes to the holidays. For the upcoming Halloween holiday, there is the "What are you going to be for Halloween?" question, and for Thanksgiving, there is the typical "Where are you celebrating?" query. You can always talk about what they did after your co-workers come back to work after the holidays as well.
• Comment on outfit. Commenting on someone's outfit can bring about a conversation on where she bought that certain accessory or shirt from. There's not too much that can be extrapolated on from outfit talk, but it's a good start!
• Latest news. Bring up whatever is going on in the news, be it the latest food recall or shocking celebrity breakup. Make sure that you pick a piece of news that's relevant and interesting to the person you're talking to.

What other conversation starters do you use in the office?

When you're trying to establish a professional relationship with someone, it's very easy to turn a stranger off with professional no-nos. You can get away with a lot more once you develop a deeper relationship with the person and when you get a better feel of how that person works. Take heed of these rules when you're communicating with someone professionally:

• Try not to contact them after work hours unless it's asked of you: If the other party did not suggest a time to talk after work hours, don't call them or email them after 6 or 7 p.m. unless it's an emergency or if the nature of your job requires you to contact them at night. There's nothing more frustrating than getting a 10 p.m. call to talk about work when it isn't urgent. Many of us like to clock out when work ends, so talking about job-related items can bring back unwanted memories of the daily grind.
• Leave their personal accounts alone: Don't contact them about work through their personal email, cell phone, Facebook, or chat when they haven't given you leave to do so. Most people don't like to mix their personal and professional lives, so don't corner them into doing it. However, if they engage you first through these accounts, it is OK to reply to them.
• Keep the punctuations and smiley faces to a minimum: When you don't know someone, it's a bit odd to add five exclamation marks at the end of the sentence and say things like "thank you a million times!" Don't overwhelm people before getting to know them. Being overenthusiastic can also come off as being insincere. Ease them into it.
• Give them time to reply: If you haven't heard back from someone, don't start bombarding them with emails, texts, and voicemail messages all in one day. Give them a little leeway and wait for them to reply you and try again the next day or even the next week if you have the time to wait.
• If they say no, don't push it: If they decline you, don't rephrase the same question and ask it again. The answer is no! Instead give them time to mull it over, present the issue again at a later date, and change the terms to better suit them. The more you push them, the more they'll withdraw. Remember, you can't badger someone into agreeing.
• Don't backtrack: Plan what you're going to say and offer carefully. Don't say something, then backtrack and change your words. It's always better to start the relationship off slow because you can then decide how you want to progress based on the results you're seeing.
• Remember that their time is precious: Their time is very valuable, so carefully pick what kind of communication works best. Emails are generally less disruptive so if you can convey your message via email, opt for that form of communication first.

This reader posted in our Ask Savvy community group, seeking advice on how to thank someone professionally.

A director at my organization has recommended me for a promotion and is organizing a significant pay rise for me. I have been working very hard, but it's still unexpected and very flattering. This sort of thing just doesn't happen (well, at least not to me)! He's leaving the company at the end of the month, and I want to tell him how appreciative I am that he recognized my potential. I only found out about his recommendations through my manager in my recent performance review though, and the director hasn't brought it up with me. If anyone has any suggestions on the proper way to say thank you in this sort of situation, I'd be very grateful. We work in an open-plan office, and no one other than my manager knows about the promotion yet, so I'm finding it hard to figure out how I can bring this up with the director without everyone hearing that I'm going to be promoted. 

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