- They give too much. Suze Orman says women "give too much and take too little." We do this with our family, with our friends, and at work. Start getting used to saying no.
- They don't say how they feel. Perhaps we don't really say what we're thinking because we don't want to offend someone. "Thoughts, words, and actions have to be one. Don't say yes, when you are thinking no," Orman says. If you don't align yourself with your thoughts, you may be storing a lot of pent-up frustration. Release, and let go.
- They don't put themselves first. It's not selfish to put yourself first on the list, says Dr. Phil. In fact, "you cannot give what you do not have" and you will "cheat everyone in your life if you burn yourself out." To give to other people, you need to give to yourself first.
Do you go to great lengths to hide your mess from visitors? For example, you stuff all your clutter in your spare bedroom and don't let anyone see it so they are none the wiser. There are two types of people who do this: perfectionists and people who just don't think it's worth it to be organized. For the perfectionists, they think if they can't do it perfectly, they're not going to do it. The people who don't think it's worth the effort simply don't think it's a priority and it doesn't impact their life in a big way.
Solution: First, "get over yourself!" said the organization expert. Second, get a friend (wine optional) and make decluttering a fun activity. But don't ask someone in the family or who lives in the same house as you to help because that can cause tension, warns Walsh. Make sure you offer to go over to your friend's place the following week to declutter. Third, start small so that it's not overwhelming. Perhaps you can start by clearing out your bedside table or your bag.
You have endless piles of magazines, books, and more. Don't beat yourself up over missing out on special tips, because Walsh jokes that there are only three original ideas in the world and magazines print them over and over again. Sooner or later, you'll come across the same information again.
Solution: Walsh only keeps two back issues of a magazine, and if he decides to keep a new issue, he will throw away an old one so he will only have two copies of the magazine. As for books, if your shelf is full, make sure every time you buy a book, you give one book away. Decide which ones are important to you and keep those.
- Enjoy saving. "Get as much pleasure out of saving as you do spending," said Orman. See saving as a challenge, and take joy out of scoring the better deal or shaving dollars off your bills.
- Rely on yourself. It doesn't matter what stock market or presidential administration is going to do; the "only thing that matters is what you are going to do to save yourself," said the personal finance expert. Don't blame your misfortune on others; your financial future lies in your hands.
- Live below your means. We've all heard the argument of living below your means, but Orman emphasized living within your needs as well. Before you purchase anything, ask yourself if it's a want or a need. Get it if it's a need, and if it's a want, then, as Orman suggests, "say no out of love for yourself."
- Name it to claim it. You have to envision it; Dr. Phil said people who are successful are able to see what success is.
- Get a plan. Have a strategy. "The difference between goals and dreams are a timeline," said the talk show host.
- Make a move. Get yourself started because "the universe rewards action." Successful people are the ones who take action toward unknown outcome. Keep on doing it until you achieve what you want. Dr. Phil put it best when he said, "Winners do things that losers don't want to do."
- Take a risk. Winners are willing to take a risk. Playing it safe might make you feel better for the time being, but you might be losing out on potential rewards.
- Deal with the truth. Be honest with yourself, and don't hide behind a veil of self denial. It's very hard to be self aware, and if you're unsure of something, seek feedback from others. Take stock of what others say, but ultimately you need to make your own decision.
- Build a support network. Choosing the right people to surround yourself with will help you with your struggle to the top. Have a support network that believes in you and wants you to do well. "Build a nucleus that wants you to succeed," Dr. Phil advised.
- Have a passion. Have a passion to pursue, and if you don't have one, you need to get one, whether it be related to religion, sports, politics, or whatever can get you excited. You need something to look forward to.
Winfrey told the audience at the O You! Conference in Los Angeles this past Sunday that young people often have the misconception that they have to give everything up to chase their passion. Winfrey advises to "do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do." You're not supposed to be able to get everything you want immediately, and when you're starting out, you should "keep a foot in the door" of your passion while doing what "you have to do to feed yourself."
"Notice what makes you really happy and what doesn't. You would be amazed to know how blind we go to our own joy or discomfort as we learn to follow cultural norms. Go back to your inner guidance. Then, move toward things that make you feel good, and away from things that make you feel bad (really, it's not rocket science). Do this whether you're choosing a snack or making a lifelong vow."
"I'm a big fan of ripping out a page or two from a magazine to keep as inspiration (just don't overdo it)! To keep them organized, I use three different books or binders. One is for recipes, the second is for projects I want to do, and the third is for places I want to visit. Every time I come across something I want to keep, I tear the page out and immediately tape it into the appropriate book. The trick is to make sure you refer to those books regularly. Not sure what to make for dinner? Go to the book. Not sure what to do this weekend or what restaurant you should try? Go to the book. Tearing the pages out is only half the job . . . The second is making sure that you use the info that you've collected. Remember also to set a limit for the pages you keep so as to avoid paper hoarding. Once you get to 30 items in any book, before you can add an article, you have to discard one."
Do you like tearing out magazine pages to keep?
- Challenge yourself. "The only way to become confident is to do things that frighten you," Beck says. "When I was 14 years old, I started doing one constructive thing that feels scary every day. I still hold myself to that. It's the only reason I have any confidence at all."
- Acknowledge it. "It's not unhealthy to be insecure as long as you don't lie about it. Insecurity is natural. Admitting it is courageous. Being honest about insecurity allows security to develop."
If you could pick any of them, which of these celebrity speakers would you like to grab lunch with?