Co-Workers

We've all been there: a co-worker announces her pregnancy at work, and suddenly there are so many questions we want to ask. How far along is she? How is she feeling? Was is hard keeping it a secret until now? Isn't she just thrilled? Many expecting women are happy to talk to friends and colleagues about the excitement of this time in her life. But some women are more guarded about the topics of pregnancy and childbirth and may be uncomfortable discussing them at the office. Here are 10 questions you should think twice about asking your pregnant co-worker.

How Long Were You Trying?
While this question is usually innocent enough in its intention, it potentially forces the expectant mother to tackle two uncomfortable topics: sex and fertility. Do you really want to broach the subject of how often your colleague does it? Or maybe it's not as simple as a bedroom encounter, and she required insemination or fertility treatments to arrive where she is now. Either way, it's not appropriate office chitchat.

How Much Weight Have You Gained?
Sure, weight gain is an inevitability during pregnancy. But it doesn't mean your colleague isn't self-conscious about it! Regardless of whether she appears to have put on a few or barely gained an ounce, it's probably best to steer clear of this topic.

Are You Coming Back to Work?
The decision between staying at home and working after the child's birth can be a rocky one for any mom-to-be, and there are often some complicated financial decisions underlying her ambivalence. Don't add to the pressure by bringing up such a sensitive topic. It's also possible that she simply hasn't yet made up her mind and is therefore uncomfortable discussing it at work where her manager or others might overhear.

How Will You Be Delivering?
A woman's choice of delivery practices is quite a hot button topic these days, and everyone seems to have an opinion. But whether she opts for a home birth, a scheduled C-section, a hospital birth with interventions, or any multitude of other birthing options, it's not our place as her co-workers to make her talk about it or defend it.

How Old Are You?
Mom may be 40, fabulous, and proud to shout it from the rooftops, but if she hasn't volunteered that information to you before, don't wait until she's pregnant to inquire. She may be generally sensitive about her age or afraid that people will jump to conclusions about the health of her baby.

For five more sensitive questions, just keep reading.

If your officemate has some tell-all tendencies, it can make your workday more than a little uncomfortable. Close quarters make co-worker friendships inevitable, but you may need to draw a line if things get overly personal. Feeling awkward about all the nine-to-five TMI? Follow these four tips to set proper boundaries and keep things professional:

• Consider why you feel uncomfortable. Decide whether it's the nature of the subject, the way it was approached, or your own experience with the topic that made you uneasy. If it's something that you feel extra sensitive about, see if you can just move on. Your co-worker may not have realized that the conversation was inappropriate.
• Put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself why they opened up to you. Is it because they're lonely? Because they're hoping to build a friendship? Try to recognize their motivations so that you can better handle the situation.

Keep reading for more TMI-fighting tips.

Authority isn't always linked to age; you can learn to communicate a sense of power no matter how old you are, what you look like, or which title you hold. Credibility is a crucial key to getting ahead, so learn to convey your competence by following these seven constructive tips.

1. Know your stuff. The best way to gain respect is to become an information junkie. People look up to those who are intelligent and well-informed, so stay on top of trends in your field and make a conscious effort to master your trade. Also, be sure to engage in thoughtful conversations about other topics, too — the most intriguing people are the ones who have a range of interests.
2. Dress for success. "Dress for the position you want, not for the position you have" — it's well-known advice, and rightly so. Your appearance plays a large part in how others perceive you, so it's important to choose clothing that's practical, professional, and on the conservative side.
3. Stay focused and on schedule. Be punctual and remember to keep business conversations on topic. For instance, don't let meetings veer toward small talk and speak up if the group isn't on task. When it's your turn to speak, carefully think through your decisions and voice clear, definite opinions — when you talk through your decision-making process aloud, you seem unsure and unprepared.

Keep reading for more ways to convey authority.

Friendships with your co-workers are inevitable — and a great way to connect to your workplace — but it's important to set a few conversation boundaries. Avoid these four topics to maintain a sense of professionalism and keep your office relationships work-appropriate.

1. Dollars and cents: It's no secret that salary talk should be avoided, but it's not just paychecks that ought to remain private. Debt, mortgage, and loans — yours or anyone else's — are a personal concern, and if money matters come up, the best thing to do is sidestep the subject and steer the conversation elsewhere.
2. Office rumors: There will always be cubicle gossip, but that doesn't mean you need to participate. You want to be known for your work, not your rumor radar. Even if you trust a co-worker and your intentions are good, there's still a chance that you'll be misunderstood, overheard, or otherwise caught up in the drama. Use your wit to comment on last night's TV highlights instead.

Keep reading for more topics to avoid with co-workers

This Ask a Savvy Bride is part of a Wedding Season series of advice from a savvy soon-to-be bride. Reader GirlieGossip asked for tips to silence her Bridezilla co-worker. If you have a conundrum that you need help with, share it in the Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy,

One of my co-workers is planning her wedding and she won't stop talking about it in the office. She sits in the cubicle next to mine and I swear she is on the phone with vendors and her mom half of the day. When she's not using work time to plan, she's sticking her head above the divider and asking me for advice or sharing her latest ideas. I got married three years ago and know how exciting, fun and time consuming it all is (and how hard it is to schedule calls during work hours since florists aren't open after office hours), but I frankly can't have her distracting me — I have work I need to get done! How do I tell her she's being distracting without being a buzz kill?

GirlieGossip

To see the savvy bride's advice,

Wedding etiquette can be tricky. If you have a conundrum like the one below, be sure to ask our Savvy Bride for help in the Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy,

I found my dream wedding dress and I'm absolutely ecstatic about it. I ended up spending much more than I anticipated, but I just had to have it — after all, you only get married once! With that said, I'm embarrassed to show my co-workers pictures of my dress because I fear they'll know how expensive it was just by looking at it. I know it's none of their business, but it makes me feel uneasy for some reason. Is there a way for me to avoid their questions about my wedding dress?
Anxious Annie

To see the savvy bride's advice, read more

Reader Community Assistant posted a question in my SavvySugar Community group. She asks:

Having interned all through college, and even post-grad, I encountered many individuals; some of which I consider my great friends. It was so rewarding working with a group of students that shared my interests and career goals. I had an amazing time and consider some of them great friends. Most of them, I still with talk daily, and we help each other out professionally and personally. I mean, I was lucky enough to have met my best friend on the first day of my first internship! Which brings me to the question; do you keep in touch with past co-workers? What about people you interned with? Share your stories!

Ask anything career- or budget-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and readers and I will weigh in to support you.