Who Should Foot the Wedding Bill?

Your Two Cents: Who Should Foot the Wedding Bill?

April 30, 2009

Weddings are all about love and the joining of families, but the issue of who foots the bill can be a source of contention. Tradition dictates it's the bride's family's responsibility to take on most of the expense, but modern relationships and weddings are often anything but traditional. What's your take?

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22 Comments

kristyy 4 years

The couple should pay for it themselves. That way, they'll be more aware of their spending. There are bridezillas out there who want a lavish wedding and their families end up in debt because bridezilla doesn't have any comprehension of money or doesn't care because she thinks she's entitled to it.

lizzyopal 4 years

i think that the bride and groom should pay for it themselves. i'm getting married in the next year and we plan on paying for the wedding ourselves. mostly because it's going to be very different from what either of our families expect and we don't want to hear the "i paid for it so you do what i say!" argument.

amers230 4 years

I really don't think there's a steadfast rule anymore. It depends on so many factors...the age of the bride and groom, the wealth level of both families, religious traditions, type of wedding, etc. I personally think the bride and groom should pay for the majority of the wedding nowadays, but I don't judge when the parents pay. Whatever works, the only thing I disagree with is anyone getting into major debt because of the wedding.

pinkprincess1101 4 years

My Fiance is paying for our wedding, his parents own a bakery so they will make our cake (that is all my fiance asked of them, he didn't even want to ask for that he wanted them to just enjoy the day). My grandfather and uncle wanted to pay the whole thing as they are the two that I consider my fathers, my fiancee kindly declined their offer. My mom will buy my dress as it is tradition that the groom not see it until the wedding day. Our honeymoon is being provided by our mutual friends who own several body shops.

cmd0610 4 years

Yes depends on so many factors . . for us we paid for it all because we both have good jobs, and even more reason was that I didn't want my parents or his to have anything to do with planning, I wanted it to be ours, so by paying for it ourselves we didn't have to answer to anyone or justify anything and that was important to us! My parents did pay for the rehearsal dinner and we appreciated it a lot, but my sister had to tell them like hey, aren't you gonna offer to help just even a little bit?

sham28 4 years

We'll handle the wedding, but the parents can feel free to throw down for our honeymoon!

RoSsB 4 years

The same in my culture, it's customary for the groom's family to pay for the wedding. But my husband and I (both being financially independent) shouldered all our wedding expenses...it was just a simple but meaninful one. And we just celebrated our 9th-year-anniversary last February! God is good!

GlowingMoon 4 years

Well, in my culture, the groom's family is suppose to pay for the wedding. They were willing to do so, and was open to throwing us a big, lavish wedding. However, I didn't want a wedding. Speaking only for myself, I thought that would be a colossal waste of money (even though it would be their money, not mine). So I took his family off the hook when it came to that. Besides, my husband had presented me with my dream engagement ring, and later, it's matching wedding band (it was high-end designer. Trust me, it costed him a pretty penny), so I was content as far as marriage traditions go. I had all the symbolism I needed. I didn't need the rest (wedding, wedding pre-parties, honeymoon, etc.). I was happy he asked me to marry him, and proposed with my dream ring. To me, everything else was unnecessary.

Spectra 4 years

My family was very traditional, so my parents paid for almost all of my sister's wedding and a good chunk of ours as well. They actually wanted to pay for all of ours, but since my sis and I got married just under a year apart, they couldn't afford to do that. Which was fine with me...I didn't want a huge wedding and I had no problem paying for the stuff my parents couldn't afford. My inlaws would have liked to help with things, but they're not in a financial position to do that since they're on a fixed income.

pharm_chick 4 years

in my culture, weddings are a 3 day event... the first day when they apply the henna and the bride sees her dresses and jewelry from her in laws is paid my the brides fam (its usually a small party with close fam/friends unless the family wantes to do an extravagant thing). the wedding is paid by the bride, and the reception on the 3rd day is paid my the hubbys fam. but thats tradition.. some people are doing dutch on the whole 3 day thing.

fleurfairy 4 years

I'm a traditionalist and think that if the bride's family can afford to pay, they should. The groom's family should pay for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon. I think my parents would feel insulted if I (and my fiance) insisted on paying for everything. Unless we had like a bazillion dollars.

MrsRachel 4 years

Depends....on a LOT of factors.

Liss 4 years

I think the bride and groom should pay for their wedding. If the parents have money and want to chip in then fine but they shouldn't be obligated to pay for the wedding.

skigurl 4 years

i really dont know. i assume everyone will pay a bit....as expenses come in i assume me, the groom, his fam, and my fam will all just take ownership of a certain part and i assume i would get some money from grandparents and aunts and uncles too. i really dont know though. never put much thought into it.

CaterpillarGirl 4 years

Traditionally it is the brides family that pays for it all, but having witnessed many many weddings in the past 10 years it has become a half and half thing. My own wedding was all my parents doing, because his family is notorious for not coming through on anything, very unreliable, and I didnt want something to go wrong. The only thing they were supposed to pick up was the rehearsal dinner, which was planned to be catered and turned out to be.....her making lasagna and there wasnt enough.

simplyfab87 4 years

The bride and the groom should pay for it themselves. When I get married I don't expect my parents or his to pay for anything.

sonya ina 4 years

I'm not really sure where I stand, but I considering myself lucky because my parents paid for my husband and my wedding, so in that sense my family is very traditional. If I have any daughters I'd like to be able to pay for their wedding(s), but I'm certainly open to less traditional approaches if they are.

Smacks83 4 years

I think most of the expense should go to the bride and groom, and if they are able the families of BOTH sides should put some in as well. i think its awful that one person be stuck with paying for everything. My cousin (female) got married recently and her father and grandfather paid for everything everything everything. They also covered the hotel stay of the grooms parents and any meals!! Worst part is groom's family didn't thank my grandfather or uncle, and the bride herself didn't thank my grandfather (who paid for most of it) either!! I am so thoroughly disgusted with how that all went down.

lilkimbo 4 years

That makes sense, blue. And, with the last option, I think it depends on how large the discrepancy in wealth is. If the daughter of a single mother making $19,000 a year is marrying Warren Buffett's child, I would expect that Buffett's family would pick up most of the bill! A lot of times wealthier families also want more lavish weddings (to impress their friends, or for whatever other reason). If that's the case, again, they should pick up a larger portion of the bill.

bluepuppybites 4 years

I agree with lilkimbo, but I also understand why some families may not want to foot a bill with divorce rates so high. My parents gave us a large chunk and so did his uncle. It was appreciated. But we were will to pay for everything ourselves.

lilkimbo 4 years

I wish there was an "other" choice. I think the bride and groom should pay for the bulk of it, but I also think both families should help if they are financially able to. A lot also depend on the age of the couple and the size/nature of the wedding. A lot of people invited family friends/friends of their parents who they may be close with, so it only makes sense that in those cases the parents should help with the costs.

lydialee_home 4 years

In my culture, the groom's family is supposed to pick up the wedding bill ... I have a son and a daughter now, I always joke that my girl will follow my culture (let the groom pick up the bill), and my son will follow the american way. ;) In reality, I think the bride and the groom should share the bill. (Well, I know for sure I will be helping my kids though)

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