Using Secret Bank Accounts

Would You Feel Betrayed If Your Spouse Had a Secret Account?

October 14, 2010

A woman recently confessed to the Daily Mail that she's been hoarding her cash in a bank account her husband knows nothing about. She did it to feel a sense of independence and to have a security blanket in case anything goes wrong. Well, I'm guessing it's not a secret anymore, but if you were the spouse who found out about the account, would you feel betrayed?

Source: Thinkstock

10 Comments

2 years 23 weeks

This recently happened to me. My husband has a shopping addiction and I thought he was doing "So much better" with it... until I received a statement from his secret account and realized that he had, over the course of about 2 months, taken and spent over $1200 on clothes for himself. I am more than a little bit pissed off, yes.

GlowingMoon 2 years 31 weeks

I wouldn't feel betray, per se. He would have A LOT of explaining to do, as we agreed to provide full disclosure (and full transparency) when it comes to our finances. That's part of our marriage."They'd have to have a really good reason for keeping it secret - and I honestly can't think of one." Truthfully, I can think of a good reason. Perhaps my husband was secretly hording money to buy me a luxurious gift, like say, diamond jewelry? Then maybe, just maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive him. ;) :)

GlowingMoon 2 years 31 weeks

I wouldn't feel betray, per se. He would have A LOT of explaining to do, as we agreed to provide full disclosure (and full transparency) when it comes to our finances. That's part of our marriage. "They'd have to have a really good reason for keeping it secret - and I honestly can't think of one." Truthfully, I can think of a good reason. Perhaps my husband was secretly hording money to buy me a luxurious gift, like say, diamond jewelry? Then maybe, just maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive him. ;) :)

Baconlover 2 years 31 weeks

Having a separate account (though weird) is not the main issue. The main issue is the lack of trust.

DazzleDe 2 years 31 weeks

As long as the household bills were paid and the money was coming directly from my income source, I don't think I should have to explain to my spouse how I spend or save my money. Just like women sneak in bags of clothes from secret shopping sprees and don't tell their husbands, I should be able to quietly save my money without telling my husband.

lickety split 2 years 31 weeks

Community property in a secret account? Not okay. Separate funds from independent source (inheritance), that's fine.

stephley 2 years 31 weeks

They'd have to have a really good reason for keeping it secret - and I honestly can't think of one.

onlysourcherry 2 years 31 weeks

I'd be mad about a secret anything (unless it was some sort of pleasant surprise).

RoaringSilence 2 years 31 weeks

I certainly wouldn't appreciate it. I'd be okay with it if I knew the account was there, but didn't know how much was in it. I like knowing where all our money is going, and I'm pretty sure I'd notice if some of it was disappearing into a secret account. As long as all bills and expenses are split up fairly though, everyone should be able to spend money on whatever they want. As long as it's not just one of the two partners who's paying for a college fund for future children or something like that.

RoaringSilence 2 years 31 weeks

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