Savvy Community: Buy House Solo, or Wait For New Love?

May 6, 2010

The decision to purchase a home is one of the biggest — and likely most expensive — decisions you will make in your lifetime. DedicatedDebbie is considering taking the leap, but she has a new love and asked for our advice in the SavvySugar Q and A group:

I am ready to buy a house solo, but my healthy new relationship makes me think I should wait a while. What's your advice?

Would you take the plunge, or wait for the relationship to catch up for a chance at a real estate (and life) partner? Share your take and then spill your questions in the SavvySugar Q and A group.

Source: Getty

15 Comments

Yesi Jukebox 3 years 2 weeks

I would buy the house solo, the relationship is not guaranteed to work.

sabrinaland 3 years 2 weeks

Buy it now. Relationships come and go. They can change overnight. If things don't work out with the new man, you will be glad you have something solid like a home of your own.

pearsbeary 3 years 2 weeks

i see skigurl's pov, but i agree w/ spectra considering how it's a new love and there are many discussions to go through before you may be at the same stage of buying house, settling down, etc. etc. i agree w/ spectra that you should just go for purchasing your own property

Spectra 3 years 2 weeks

If you can afford to buy now, by all means do it. The interest rates are phenomenal and you can still get the $8000 tax credit if you buy soon. Plus, most markets are still buyers' markets, so you'll probably be able to snag a good deal. If you buy the house solo and can afford the payments on your own, it shouldn't matter if you and your current boyfriend do eventually break up.

skigurl 3 years 2 weeks

true true...by not buying for a year and staying with my parents while he travelled mostly for work, i managed to save probably 10K more at least, and him too, so it worked really well

lilkimbo 3 years 2 weeks

Also, I think it makes a difference that you were living with your parents and not renting at the time. I'm a renter now and I understand that renting works best for a lot of people, myself included. But, I feel that if you're ready, fiscally, emotionally, etc. to buy a home, there's no point in throwing money away renting. If you're living with parents or paying minimal rent with multiple roommates or something (or even living in a city with low rents), it does make more sense to possibly wait and see where the relationship goes!

lilkimbo 3 years 2 weeks

That makes sense, skigurl. I know some people who move into new homes and throw away perfectly good furniture; it makes no sense to me! I mean, fine, throw away a cheap Ikea table, but why get rid of something that's good quality? And yeah, I definitely agree that college furniture is typically not something that's good to keep for the long haul. Luckily, I lived in fully furnished places in school, so the only furniture I had to worry about deciding whether or not to keep was a dresser!

skigurl 3 years 2 weeks

lilkim, neither of us really had a lot of old furniture (just old as in bedroom furniture from college and super old couches that we just couldn't bring ourselves to keeping) because neither of us have rented our own place since school and lived with our parents in the meantime, so that wasn't a problem for us anyway i'd definitely say it's all about what seems best for you and where you're at...totally personal...i just gave an opinion based on what i did, and i have zero regrets!

lilkimbo 3 years 2 weeks

Skigurl, I understand what you're saying a little better now. I still don't see how buying a house now would prevent the OP from buying a house with her boyfriend in the future, though. So, that house would be their house that they bought together. And I get what you're saying with furnishing the house, but, and maybe this is just me, I wouldn't have a problem with bringing my old furniture with me to a new house. In fact, I think it would be wasteful not to. I guess I'm just a very independent person, particularly financially, so, in the end, it just comes down to personality and personal preferences.

GlowingMoon 3 years 2 weeks

Without knowing more details, it's hard for me to say.

skigurl 3 years 2 weeks

i knew everyone would disagree with me, and i wrote that far too early in the morning to put a lot of thought into my response but this is what happened to me: i was saving for a house, and i was feeling pretty ready to buy, but then i met my boyfriend. i realized he had similar goals, so for a year, we both saved up, and our relationship was very very strong, so by the time the timing was right (because of jobs) to buy and we agreed on location, we had enough money saved to split a downpayment as well as split furniture for the house and finish the basement and still have a little nest egg...and we were able to buy a more expensive house than either of us could afford because we split the mortgage and the bills...so therefore we feel really comfortable financially and on the right track as we invest in our home and the property value is going up and up for me, it was well worth waiting and i think there's a relationship aspect to this to: if you buy alone, you're independent, you're solo, you do it alone, but if you wait, (if you have a good relationship which i do) we did it together, we bonded a lot, we stuck by each other, and trust me, buying a house is hard - it's nice to have a partner in crime....and now we live together in a house we bought TOGETHER and we make decisions together, and it's OUR space, not mine alone which he moved in to i know some people would say to take the jump and be independent but the way i did it worked for me and i wouldn't have it any other way!!

lilkimbo 3 years 2 weeks

I would say if you're ready now (have enough for a decent down payment, etc.), buy solo! I'm not sure I understand all of skigurl's points. Since, by all measurable indications, the economy and the housing market are on their way up, you'll actually get more for your money if you buy now, not if you wait. I guess I see her point about sharing a down payment, but if you wind up together for the long haul, money he's saved (that would theoretically have gone toward the shared down payment) would most likely go into things for the two of you anyway (a larger house, retirement together, etc.). And, when you're ready to live together, you'll be able to live together anyway, either in your house, in his house, or you could sell at that time and buy together.

socalbeachgal 3 years 2 weeks

Without knowing more details about your life; I would say go ahead and buy your house. It is a great investment in your future.

SS10Sne1 3 years 2 weeks

If you want to buy a home, buy a home! I was in the process of closing on my first home when I met my current boyfriend. That was almost two years ago. If/when my boyfriend and I decide to move in together or get married, we have options. He can move in, I can sell, or I can rent it out. Regardless of what happens with my boyfriend, home ownership was a good investment in my future.

skigurl 3 years 2 weeks

if you have a man who is great, also has the same goals, and your relationship is very healthy, wait after about 6 months, or when you're feeling comfortable, let him know you'd love to be a homeowner casually and see what he says after certain period of time (say a year), depending on your age and situation, it would be appropriate to buy together - and you will get more for your money, share a downpayment, and be able to live together!

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