Including Wedding Registry Info in Invitation: Tacky or Not?

September 12, 2008

Getting the word out about wedding gift registries can be accomplished via word of mouth or a wedding website, but I'm more interested in what you think when couples include their registry details in the actual wedding invitation.

Some wedding-goers think that including it is like assuming your guests will spend money on a gift and are obligated to do so, while others feel it's an acceptable practice. Where do you stand?

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94 Comments

3 years

I never put much thought into this subject until now that I am planning my wedding. My MOH said that we shouldn't put where we are registered in the invite and the more I think about it the more they are right! It's completely rude and tacky! I worked at a place that people could register and in their packet they would get the little papers that told the guest where they were registered. Who thought that this was a good idea? This is a marketing ploy so that they can make sales! I mean 50 years ago they didnt have the technology to do this. Though times have changed, this is why they have gift receipts, if you dont like it take it back! DONT ASK FOR GIFTS! Honestly, if the people you are inviting can not contact you or someone close to you to ask where you're registered, then should they even be invited to your event?

3 years

Bridezillas are the only ones who find it tacky. Just kidding - kind of - but this forum seems to be the place to call people out. Most people would not give it another thought if they saw a registry on their invitation. And those that do, remember because they want to use it to simplify the buying of a gift. What I find tacky is people that show up at your wedding, drink at the open bar all night, eat the nice dinner you bought for them and then think that 50 dollars or 100 dollars is too much to spend on their friend or family (unless they are on a fixed income, etc.) on their wedding day. Cheap is tacky! People that say it is tacky are probably wearing crocs or smoking a cigarette while responding to this post about how tacky it is to offer a suggestion about things they may actually need for an event where most (if not all) people will bring them a gift. Etiquette, please!!! Get a life! If you don't like it so much, just don't go to the reception and save the Bride and Groom the cost of inviting an A$$.

4 years

The way to do it tastefully is to include the wedding website address on the information--that way guests can read all about the couple, the proposal, the ceremony, the honeymoon--and the registry is on the site, without it being in your face, I want an expensive present... I find that people DO want to know what the couple wants and needs, and it's a subtle way to let guests know.

4 years

yeahisaidit 4 years

I think this issue is case by case. 3 senarios. 1. I received an "announcement" from a couple, not an "invitation". While I was not invited to participate in the wedding festivities, I did receive an announcment which is cool. What is not cool was the registry card. Might as well have said, "you can't come to our wedding but send us a gift anyway." Tacky? I don't know. Questionable? Extremely. 2. I had a friend who was moving to New York from California right after their honeymoon. Returning gifts or flying them out with them was not an option. They sent a cute poem in their invitation saying gift cards were the way to go. That is not tacky in my mind. Tacky would be accepting gifts they couldn't keep and wouldn't use. 3. It's all about culture and where you're from. Where I am, everyone does it. Doesn't mean it's good or bad. Most that don't do registries see it and disregaurd. I have an invite on my fridge right now that i have no idea if it contains registry info. Anyone who gets a stick up their butt about it needs to mellow. It's just a registry. That's why people have receptions. For people to congradulate them and give them crap. Whether or not you choose to believe it, it's true.

yeahisaidit 4 years

Angela123 4 years

i think it's so super tacky it's not even funny. you don't ask for gifts, period. (and you never ever ever ever ever outright ask for money, ever, but i won't even get into that. disgustingly rude) Of COURSE it's established that most of your guests will bring gifts, but it's not REQUIRED. I think registering is a great idea, and helpful to guests, but putting the info on the invite is so off-putting. "You are invited to our wedding, and please buy us this" ew

laurelm 4 years

I used to think it was tacky until I did NOT include it on my wedding invite and everyone was asking and tiffed it was not included. I got the feeling it was much more helpful if you included it and I love it when I find it easily with the invite as well.

imroyalti 4 years

It's tacky...but necessary if the bride and groom to-be already live with each other and already have the small household appliances and gadgets that a usually given to newlyweds.

jenious 4 years

A registry is completely acceptable and traditional, but to include it in your formal guest invitations is tacky to me. That being said, it I received an invitation with the registry information, I wouldn't be offended. Just wouldn't do it myself. Generally, I thought the bridesmaid (or other person) should inform people when/if throwing the wedding shower.

BabyBearCutie 4 years

I dont think its tacky at all. A registry gives people a place to pick out gifts or get ideas for gifts you went. my friend including in her wedding info, i was thank for it. I love my friend but she is picky as hell, and i hate shopping fo her. Also her registry could have been anywhere. But i tried to buy her something i knew she and her husband would like. wasnt on her registry, but i had lots of good ideas. I also just think its so lame people get in a hissy fit about a little card slip inside a wedding pockt. I would do it, simpley because i have no desire to build a whole website. As for mothers and braidmaids or fathers and groomsmen, problem with that is that my mother doesnt know all my friends or my friends dont know my work friends, or i dont know my future husbands brother because he's never been to visit and lives on the east coast. GOSH! i can go on with this list, but i wont.

bunnyOhare 4 years

Regarding comments made by flame and pixi: Oh HELL no. A wedding is, at the core, nothing more than a party. When you invite people to a party, you provide food and drinks without expecting anyone to "cover their expenses". If you can't afford the invited guests, you either cut down the number you invite or cut back on what you provide. Don't jack up the guest list and invite everyone and their hairstylist just so you can recoup your "losses"!

runningesq 4 years

.... you aren't paying ADMISSION!

runningesq 4 years

"is at least as much as what they had to pay for you to be there" UGH! I am so tired of hearing this! Yes, you bring a gift to a wedding, but what you give is: 1. what you want to give 2. what you can afford NOT: 1. what they spent on your plate 2. what they gave you at your wedding.

pixi99772 4 years

Ok how can you give gift info without being tacky and no you can't go to a wedding or shower without a gift, you spend all this money, say 200 dollars per person, and then they just expect to show up and give you a handshake and congrats?? no way, not fair, you don't go to a wedding or RSVP without getting the bride and groom a gift in some form that is at least as much as what they had to pay for you to be there and if you have a registry, so that you don't end up with 10 of the same thing from the same place, or nothing at all, what are you supposed to do?? it may be tacky to put it into the initial invitation, but giving the information in another form is not tacky at all, it's necessary to everyone that say's it's tacky remind me to tell everyone not to get you a gift at all then seeing as that's what you're supporting regardless of how much you spent per person for the wedding

CamB 4 years

I don't find it tacky honestly. And when it came time to send my invitations I asked quite a few friends and family about this and only 2 people said it was a social stigma (ironically it was a mother and her daughter). Frankly, I've never been one for social norms, we didn't do a wedding website because that was just one more thing to keep up on in our already busy and hectic lives. We are far to busy to field calls from 150 guests as to what they should bring, and the same with my parents and bridal party. Even if they weren't, I wouldn't expect my guests to have to take the time to track down someone who might know where we are registered just to buy a gift. I've done this with weddings that I was invited to and frankly it was a headache especially when you are a friend that isn't in the immediate circle of family friends. We have such a variety of friends from all over that don't know each other, I didn't want to subject them to the headache. Instead I included a few things in the invitation along with directions, travel info, etc. If someone wants to be spiteful and buy something from another store let them. If it's something I don't need, it will be returned and they shouldn't have wasted their time. If you are feeling obligated to buy a gift because of a business card size piece of paper you seriously have to much time on your hands and worry far to much about little things. There are bigger things to be offended by in the world.

akprincess72 4 years

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

flameapocalypse 4 years

Also, I made a point of telling people that asked me what we wanted that they DID NOT HAVE to buy or give me anything!! There were a few who did that, and I was fine with that too. Meant the "thank you" card was just "Thank you for your presence, and I hope you enjoyed the festivities!"

flameapocalypse 4 years

I had to vote not tacky, but I am actually one of those who don't like Wedding registrys. I didn't want to register, but everyone told me I HAD to. So I did, and I included the info in the invite just as an FYI. We didn't get anything we registered for, and I was happy. We were really trying to save up for a house, so I asked for money, mainly. And money is what we got, for the most part.I was happy, and I think it proves my point that registries are pointless. Maybe my problem was that it was a small wedding. I guess they might be of use if you invite Aunt Carol's best friends's daughter's in-laws. In which case, you need the info in the invite since they have no clue who you are. They might as well buy you something, since you are paying for their food and drinks.

Vaadsfweytes 4 years

Facin8me, well said! Bridezillas are rude and frightening.

omega 4 years

I don't think it's tacky at all! Just because you're registered somewhere does not mean it's set in stone that you have to receive gifts from there! I always consider it an FYI, and frankly, I'm always happy to get it with the invitation. It makes it easier. I don't think it should be considered "soliciting a gift" at all. It's normal practice to get the bride and groom a gift! People need to calm down.

Da Ly 4 years

On my invitations, since half the guests were in another country, we had "Wedding registry and other information is available on our website: yadda yadda." On the registry page though, it explains what Li Xi is (lucky red envelope) it's been done in my father's, grandfather's and great-grandfathers' marriages and how my fiancee and I take a modern spin on it by making it to be part of a honeymoon registry. (Because really, grandfather used Li Xi to buy things like clothes and neccessary food.) However, in hindsight, I was told by some of my older relatives they don't have internet, and had the non-asians on my fiance's side utterly confused. Kinda makes me wish I made two webpages and two invitations. One to suggest Li Xi, the other to point at target. -_-

SugarKat 4 years

I've never gotten an invitation with registry info in it. I guess it's tacky, but sometimes useful if you don't know the bride & grooms wedding party or friends.

jrosenberg02 4 years

Personally, I think it's totally tacky. Just fishing for gifts. I know there are people out there who feel differently, but because I know that at least half the people out there see this as a major faux pas, I would NEVER do this in my wedding invitations, even if I personally didn't feel that way. Why do something that half your guests are going to think is bizarre??

Catryse 4 years

Isnt that what your bridal shower is for???

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94 Comments