How Do You Feel About Wedding Registries?

Your Two Cents: Buying Gifts From Wedding Registries

May 29, 2008

Wedding registries are a sensible way for couples to get the things they need for their home, and they certainly make it easy on guests when figuring what to buy for newlyweds. But I know some wedding guests who complain that wedding registries make gift giving uncomfortable because the couple knows exactly how much was spent on the gift. There are no rules that say wedding registries are a must for the bride and groom or for the guests to use, but I also don't know any couples that have chosen to go without one.

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47 Comments

4 years 4 weeks

I used to be one of those people that never picked from the registry... Now That I am getting married I see the error of my ways lol... A birthday gift is easy to keep, exchange, regift, etc... However a wedding is a MUCH diffrent thing... I have so many items I did not register for that are now piled up in a spare room, because A) I have no use for them, and B) I have no idea where to return them. Luckily Some guests gave me gift recipts... By the way does anyone want a toaster oven/broiler?

4 years 5 weeks

We're going without a traditional registry in lieu of having people donate to the honeymoon and/or reception... http://helpmakecents.blogspot.com

koolbr33z3 4 years 50 weeks

I don't have a problem with using registries. Generally, money is usually the standard gift for Asian weddings and most of my guests didn't even understand the concept of wedding registries. I had a registry setup for my non-Asian guests though.

sillystring32 4 years 50 weeks

I'm late in responding, but I chose not to register at all. Some people kind of freaked out that I didn't register, but in the end people who wanted to know what we needed ASKED. I don't get why that's such a big deal for guests to ask the couple or family memebers "what do you need?". Having myself or someone in our families tell guests what we needed is really no different than guests looking it up themselves on a registry. We didn't have specific brands in mind, but we know we needed pots and pans, a coffee pot etc...so guests can go out and decide which exact item to purchase. I like giving some of the gift giving power back to our guests. I think people have just become so accustomed to registires that they get nervous without them, but people had weddings and gave gifts before registries!

almost famous 4 years 51 weeks

I'm terrible at getting gifts for people...

ChiTownEm 4 years 51 weeks

I don't think most brides would judge how much a gift cost...at least I hope not! I am getting married in 6 weeks and registered at Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn & Target! We made sure that there gifts in ALL price ranges so no one would feel pressure to overspend...I literally have tealight holders on there for 99 cents...its the thought that counts, right?

jfellows1631 4 years 51 weeks

it's tradition, and they chose these items because that's what they want!

italianblonde 4 years 51 weeks

I definitely love these things!! I'd feel absolutely terrible if my taste was far different from the married couples' and they had to go through the hassle of returning it, etc. I never even thought of them knowing how much I spent on them, I just buy the cutest things on the registry ha.

bigestivediscuit 4 years 51 weeks

Yes - seriously, a BIRTHDAY registry. I don't know about you, but when I invite people to my birthday dinner or party, I do NOT expect gifts and am almost embarrassed if I've picked a fairly pricey place to dine. If someone comes with a gift, that is a bonus, but honestly surprises me. But this woman had a 60th birthday bash, rented out the cafe of a well-known museum in London and actually mailed a list to all the guests of the gifts she wanted. I felt like I was paying an entry fee! Perhaps I would have minded less if the gifts were like a) a charitable donation to the charity of her choice or b) a box of macaroons, wine, whatever but everything on her list was over £100 per item! I *do* think wedding registries are appropriate as (most) guests will tend to bring gifts no matter what you say, so especially for a young couple just starting out or a couple moving into a new home together, they are useful. JUST SAY NO TO BIRTHDAY REGISTRIES lol!

looseseal 4 years 51 weeks

I never had the opportunity to buy from a registry. I would love for people to set up registries for all gift-giving occasions so I don't have to pull my hair out trying to figure out what to get. Why should weddings and baby showers be the only things people are "allowed" to have registries for, anyway? How about house warming registries, and yeah, birthday registries. I'm not a mind reader and I don't aspire to be one. As long as there wouldn't be some kind of major meltdown on the giftee's part if people buy stuff that aren't on the registry, what's the problem? Hmm... maybe it would be great if you could set up registries that aren't tied to a particular store. Maybe a website for registries that lets people log in and call dibs on buying certain things. It could even have links to price comparisons, like bizrate but with a registries function. Wonder if something like that exists already. If it doesn't, someone can potentially get rich off setting something like that up.

Elainef 4 years 51 weeks

We are doing it the Asian way, CASH! My fiance already has a fully furnished house so we don't need anything for the home. Where I come from, the custom is to give the couple cash in a red packet. Very practical and definitely more useful since the couple can decide how they want to spend it whether it is defraying wedding costs, setting up their new house, honeymoon or saving up.

mazdagirluk 4 years 51 weeks

Before I got married, I gave one gift from a registry, and one small thing that was not on there (with the gift receipt of course). Now, I just give money so the couple can shop together afterwards, or save it for their future.

samontague 4 years 51 weeks

LOVE the registry idea. As someone mentioned above, I used to buy non-reg gifts, but knowing what went into our registry (ie., cookery stuff we'd never buy ourselves, but really needed rather than "making do"), I've changed my tune. My mother, however, is bucking the idea of the registry - as I did at first. I didn't feel comfortable asking guests to buy specific things; luckily my fiance got me past that, but it's still an uncomfortable zone for my mom!

emalove 4 years 51 weeks

Crystalvillage06, that's exactly what happened to me...I've found that people sometimes try to find an item you registered for a better price at another store, and then they buy it from that other store, not thinking/realizing that someone will probably buy the same one that you registered for, and then you have duplicates. I am always conscious of this and make sure it doesn't happen when I'm the gift-giver.

emalove 4 years 51 weeks

I prefer to buy gifts from the registry because I know that's what the couple truly wants. If I do stray from the registry, I make sure to do something original and nothing that could potentially duplicate any gift that is on the registry.

crystalvillage06 4 years 51 weeks

Now that I am engaged I will only buy off the registry. We have recieved 3 knive blocks. We had already opened one off our registry since it came first. We now have 2 knive blocks and have no idea where they are from. We'll probably try to regift for future weddings since we have no need for 3 sets and we can't return them.

JaimeLeah526 4 years 51 weeks

Buying of the registry is great for someone you don't really know well. For a best friend or close sibling I suggest buying a small registry item and buying a larger more personal item from the heart. It shows that you care.

cubadog 4 years 51 weeks

My friends would be really bummed if I bought from their registies I am known for the great gifts I pick out for people. I really put a lot of thought into them. If is someone I do not know well and I hate everything on their registry they get cash.

SussLW 4 years 51 weeks

My husband and I disagreed on this topic until we got married ourselves - now I totally agree with him that buying from the registry list is key. So many of his parents' friends who barely know me, are of course 30 years older and live 3000 miles away gave us random stuff that I just got frustrated. I think the main point is to only give something not on the registry if you are very close to the couple. My mom gives silver napkin rings engraved with the couple's initials (after verifying what they are/will be) because it's a family tradition for us. I would have preferred something like this over a silver ice bucket or hideous vases I will never use.

reena2 4 years 51 weeks

While I definitely consult registries (if available) for all wedding gifts, I will purchase off them for people I do not know well. If I do know the couple well I will often purchase something that I know they will like (e.g. something that they have mentioned they like) it adds an element of surprise or combine something with a registry item. The one thing I do not like about online registries is that the couple 'knows' what they are going to receive. (I also once bought a wedding gift around Christmas and had several items (including lingerie) rung up all at once - that couple had access to all the items rung up at that time. I received several items that I did not register for - yet *absolutely* love and the item never fails to remind me of the person whom I received it from.

Rebecca101 4 years 51 weeks

Personally, I Think it's just plain rude not to buy off the registry unless you are giving cash/check. A couple has taken the time to register (and it does take time), has picked out what they want and need (oh, but you'd like to substitute your taste for theirs? how thoughtful...), and I think everyone understands that people have different budgets, that's why most people put differently priced items on the list (and I was happy to get each one, and never thought "oh they only spent $__)-- and, if a couple obnoxiously puts only way high end items in the registry, give them cah or a gift card... Oh, and all this only applies to wedding registries...birthday registries!!??? you have got to be kidding me!

faerymagick15 4 years 51 weeks

I usually buy one or two things from a registry and then pick out one special thing just from me that I think the couple will really like that is not on any registry.

CollegeGirl 4 years 51 weeks

I think wedding registries are helpful when you don't really know a couple that well. I think it's perfectly acceptable for close friends and family to go off the registry and buy a gift with a little more meaning.

ElizabethRae 4 years 51 weeks

I am STILL trying to return random gifts from my wedding. Registries or cash are the way to go.

Kimpossible 4 years 51 weeks

I think registeries are great. And most couples who make them know that their guests finances vary and I think they add items to the list accordingly. So no need imo to get upset that the couple will know how much you spent on an item.

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