Do You Spend Without Checking in With Your Husband?

July 16, 2008

If you wanted to buy, say a new pair of Loubs to fulfill your everlasting desire for red-soled shoes, would you have to consult your husband? And if he wanted to go on a Best Buy binge, would he need to check in with you to negotiate a limit?

Discussing spending priorities is a must when you're pooling your money, and some couples make a rule that they cannot spend over a certain amount without first checking with each other. Is there a rule in your household that calls for checking in, or do you have total freedom when making a purchase?

47 Comments

daisymay81 4 years 42 weeks

We really don't talk about anything under $100, anything over that we discuss.

ilanac13 4 years 42 weeks

my fiance and i decided a long time ago that whateer money we earned, we can do with as we please as long as our joint commitments are being fulfilled. (rent/bills etc). this means that he doesn't ask me when he wants to buy things and i don't ask him. it probably alleviates a lot of stress since that's why a lot of couples argue huh? the only issue right now is that i don't make enough money to treat myself to anything - i haven't gone shopping for myself in ages cause i only make enough to cover my rent/car payment/mortgage on my 2nd home/bills. i wish i could afford to buy loubs or whatever else there is that i want, but right now it's not in the cards for me.

i am awesomeness 4 years 43 weeks

I don't have this problem because I'm not married (yet), but no I would not check in. If my contribution to the bills is paid, and my contribution to our rainy-day fund was paid, then the rest of my money from my paycheck is mine to do with it as I wish, and my husband should trust me to not buy useless crap and I'd trust my husband in the same way. Why should I have to ask for permission when I'm making my own spending money? Why should he have to ask me? Sure, I might call him but that would be because I'm so excited that I'm about to get an amazing deal on that designer handbag that I've wanted for a while and he's the first person on my speed dial! lmao

bchicgrl 4 years 43 weeks

I think if you both have your own separate accounts and a household account for shared responsibilities, if either person has some play room then they should be able to spend their hard earned money on something they really want.Both people need to use common sense on purchases and be really sure if they splurge that they still have something in savings as just in case money.

bchicgrl 4 years 43 weeks

I think if you both have your own separate accounts and a household account for shared responsibilities, if either person has some play room then they should be able to spend their hard earned money on something they really want. Both people need to use common sense on purchases and be really sure if they splurge that they still have something in savings as just in case money.

MrsJigglesworth 4 years 44 weeks

No, we do not have to get clearance from the other b/c we trust each others decisions. We do, however, usually discuss very large purchases (cars, electronics) since we talk about most everything that happens in our day and have open communication.

MrsJigglesworth 4 years 44 weeks

carhornsinapril 4 years 44 weeks

my fiance and i discussed our financial plan a few nights ago. once we're married, we plan on having four accounts (aside from our long-term investments): -one joint checking, for rent, groceries, student loan payments, etc. -one joint savings, for shorter-term goals, like our wedding & down-payment funds -two individual checking accounts for our play money anything in our "play" accounts is fair game to save or spend as we each see fit.

carhornsinapril 4 years 44 weeks

my fiance and i discussed our financial plan a few nights ago. once we're married, we plan on having four accounts (aside from our long-term investments): -one joint checking, for rent, groceries, student loan payments, etc.-one joint savings, for shorter-term goals, like our wedding & down-payment funds-two individual checking accounts for our play moneyanything in our "play" accounts is fair game to save or spend as we each see fit.

sorrowja 4 years 44 weeks

My husband and I have a join account which we put money in for household expenses. We also have separate accounts if I'm getting something for myself or the house (if it's something small) I use my personal account. He doesn't question me and I don't question his purchases. We talk about purchased made from our joint credit card and joint bank account. Oh and purchase made on card from Home Depot and so on.

Liss 4 years 44 weeks

My husband and I keep out money seperate so we don't need to check with each other. But if it is something expensive we might mention it before we buy it.

jkat 4 years 44 weeks

They are Christian Louboutin's Decollete pump. http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/product/33459?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-ProductFeed-_-Christian+Louboutin-_-High+Heels&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-peXvoWEcQoyY6WJqXEptoA

AmberHoney 4 years 44 weeks

Don't be nervous for me, it's worked wonderful for 25 years and it will still work in another 25. Never had an argument over money ever, unlike some of our friends who constantly fight over the checkbook or is that online bank account.

museanima 4 years 44 weeks

We have our separate accounts that we don't check with each other on, but if we need anything outside of that, then we budget it from one of our other accounts.P.S. @jkat What shoes are those? It's so funny you mentioned that because when I saw them I thought "Ooh those shoes would be perfect in black!" :)

museanima 4 years 44 weeks

We have our separate accounts that we don't check with each other on, but if we need anything outside of that, then we budget it from one of our other accounts. P.S. @jkat What shoes are those? It's so funny you mentioned that because when I saw them I thought "Ooh those shoes would be perfect in black!" :)

foxie 4 years 44 weeks

Marriage is a partnership. Cooperating with finances really strengthens the bond and couples who keep everything separate really make me nervous. My husband and I consult each other before expensive, unnecessary purchases.

almost famous 4 years 44 weeks

I'd try not to. That's wrong, but I would whine for a minute and if he says no, then I'd March right down to the bank and dip into MY ACCOUNT and get what the hell I want.

AmberHoney 4 years 44 weeks

We've had separate accounts from day one (25 years together) and we're always together so it's never been an issue. As for the shoes (a girl can never have to many) I love them but can't stand the way the red wears off and looks tacky unless you see the cobbler to have them repainted. I, myself, would like to see another color sole; really tired of the red.

Mintie 4 years 44 weeks

I'm so glad I don't have to get permission for anything I do!

TsuKata 4 years 44 weeks

First, I'm a little miffed by the idea that the example that is given is shoes for the gals and tech for the guys, especially coming from a site that has a geek section. A simple "(or vice versa)" somewhere in there would have lessened the stereotype. But, that aside, my husband and I keep separate finances. He had a significant nest egg before our marriage, and I make significantly more per year (but I had student loans that kept me from establishing savings for the first 8 years of my career). Thus, both of us have reasons to keep things separated. We only consult each other for major purchases that would go out of the joint fund, such as home repairs, vacations, and furniture.

TsuKata 4 years 44 weeks

First, I'm a little miffed by the idea that the example that is given is shoes for the gals and tech for the guys, especially coming from a site that has a geek section. A simple "(or vice versa)" somewhere in there would have lessened the stereotype.But, that aside, my husband and I keep separate finances. He had a significant nest egg before our marriage, and I make significantly more per year (but I had student loans that kept me from establishing savings for the first 8 years of my career). Thus, both of us have reasons to keep things separated. We only consult each other for major purchases that would go out of the joint fund, such as home repairs, vacations, and furniture.

TheMissus 4 years 44 weeks

I don't tell my husband squat about my purchases before hand. It's none of his business. We have no joint accounts, and we each keep separate savings accounts. As long as we save the minimum we commit to saving each month, we don't harass each other about expenses.

SDTransplant 4 years 44 weeks

My b/f knows I like to shop and I often buy clothes, shoes, and purses without telling him first. :) It's my money though and even though we live together, our finances are completely separate. When we do get married some time in the distant future, I'm pretty sure we'll open up a joint checking account to pay for necessities and things we buy together. In the meantime though, we really only consult each other for big-ticket purchases over $100 like many of the other people here. For instance, we just split the cost of a new LCD HDTV that he spent months shopping around for and we got a great deal on it.

hithatsmybike 4 years 44 weeks

We don't exert any restraint on each other's spending, because we're both firm believers in independence and freedom to spend your money however you please.BUT he is aware of all my purchases, because I just love showing them off, and because the bf lives with me, he's usually the one that has to suffer through my parading.I generally leave the prices out, and at worst I lie about them by rounding down... or at least dodge it by simply saying "it was on sale!".Recently I let it slip that I spent $300 on a dress last month, and he seemed disappointed, but only because he knows I'm saving for school and trying to pay off dental bills. Ultimately though, I'm allowed to get whatever I want, and I like it that way. I definitely need to learn some more prudent spending habits, and this is the best way to do it.god I love those shoes! I want a pair!

hithatsmybike 4 years 44 weeks

We don't exert any restraint on each other's spending, because we're both firm believers in independence and freedom to spend your money however you please. BUT he is aware of all my purchases, because I just love showing them off, and because the bf lives with me, he's usually the one that has to suffer through my parading. I generally leave the prices out, and at worst I lie about them by rounding down... or at least dodge it by simply saying "it was on sale!". Recently I let it slip that I spent $300 on a dress last month, and he seemed disappointed, but only because he knows I'm saving for school and trying to pay off dental bills. Ultimately though, I'm allowed to get whatever I want, and I like it that way. I definitely need to learn some more prudent spending habits, and this is the best way to do it. god I love those shoes! I want a pair!

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47 Comments

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