There are two main points that I took away from reading the results of a recent Careerbuilder survey: Some bosses actually drive by employees' homes when they've called in sick, and some people will say anything to get out of going to work. Both parties are guilty, but the boss might be doing more damage than the employee in this case.
Thirty-one percent of the employers surveyed said they follow up with employees who call in sick, some require doctor's notes, others check in by calling, and a creepy percentage drives by the employee's home. The employers reported actual excuses they've heard, and the most unusual responses are below. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but really, most of these are ridiculous. Which do you think is the worst?
- Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
- Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
- Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now."
- Employee donated too much blood.
- Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
- Employee was kicked by a deer.
- Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
- Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
- Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
- Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
- Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
- Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.
See six more excuses when you read more.

Vicenza
Somewhere
3 Suisses
the heart attack one is obviously untrue, but the parking space one is the one, as a boss, that i'd be most angry about
1I mean there could have been a dead body behind the house.
2Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
Now that one is crazy, come on, how fast are you going on that bike! haha
3When I was in high school I remember some teachers would go the absent students houses (after they had missed school alot)
I always thought that was crazy.
I was once late because a carnival came to town and all the trucks and rides were blocking my street - there was no way out. You think my boss believed me? I was like "Seriously, why would I lie about this? It would be much easier to fib and say I got pulled over or something."
4As funny as these stories are, what is so ridiculous about them? If these people want to use up their sick/vacation time on this stuff, who cares? That just means they'll use up all their days and have to come to work feeling miserable when they do get sick.
5the one with the turkey had me cracking up!!!! LOl
6Whatever happened to the classic "I have a headache"
7I can see the mouthwash one happening... sort of. Some mouthwashes have enough alcohol in them that you can get fairly plastered (enough to be subject to a test, or so I've heard), but you'd have to chug about half the bottle.
8My favorites , as passed down through the ages are
91 Have contracted Lyme disease, translation, Tooo many Gin and Tonics
2 have an eye problem, can't see coming to work!!
Have a great day!
Hey I had someone hand me a beer to open it for them once and instead it was dropped on my toe. I got made fun of all night for whining about it. I couldn't sleep because of the throbbing pain in my foot. I woke up the next morning and could hardly walk. My toe was swollen, purple, and the entire nail was popping off. Gross and painful! I would have called off work too. Thank God I have a job where I can come and go as I please!
10As the previous owner of a small business I've heard em all, well maybe not the hitting a turkey on a bike LOL, but my favorite is a girl who claimed first that her Grandmother died, the next week it was her Uncle and then her half brother! She didn't know that I KNEW her brother and knew that all these deaths were not true...needless to say she was fired!
11After I was all better from the heart attack I had that morning, I still went into work despite the assault from the deer. Why can't there be more people like me?
12My best excues is:
"I am suffering from anal glaucoma! I do not see my ass coming to work today!"
It works!
13This girl called in one day because she forgot to put her clothes in the dryer, and her dryer was old, so it would take several hours for her clothes to dry, and by then it was not worth coming in to work that day.
14Actually, my sister had a can of unopened soda fall on her toe, and it actually broke her toe and she was in pain for quite some time, so that one could be a little more realistic.
15Hahaha This one can be sooo true because i remember doing this one.
"wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work"
I know so mean..... But we all have to get serious one time or another. lolz
16OK, I'll give you all a good laugh. My excuse for not coming in to work one morning was that I was up all night with my dog after it had knee surgery. It was, unfortunately, true. Luckily, I had a wonderful boss who was a dog lover and told me to let him know if I would be in the following day or not.
17Thirty-one percent of the employers surveyed said they follow up with employees who call in sick, some require doctor's notes, others check in by calling, and a creepy percentage DRIVES BY THE EMPLOYEE'S HOME....
Did everyone miss this... we are so bound to our jobs that our bosses feel they have the right to check up on us even when we are not on their clock. The doc's note, fine, a phone call, ok. But to physically drive by a persons house because they chose not to come be paid to carry out someone's agenda that day is very wrong... gray jumpsuits and bar codes are not long off at this rate.
18How easily we are distracted from what is actually being said or done by humor.
My aunt found an old lady passed out behind our car in the driveway. I could imagine she would have taken the day off if she had work that day since she was freaked out and had to call the ambulance and wait for someone to claim this old woman.
19Knee surgery on a dog? My parents are actually having their 8 year old Pitbull's eye fixed by lasik surgery!!! They never did that for us kids when we were growing up!
20Actually the turkey is not that far fetched. as an avid biker I've hit many squirrels and small rodents - I narrowly missed deer on 2 occasions. I have had friends wreck over cats, dogs and even a ground hog. I occassionally see turkeys on my ride but they generally just run in the other direction.
21I ate my kid's homework... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DWdt6mbaPA
22I have to take issue with the dismissive comments about hitting a turkey on a bike. As a competitive cyclist, it is not uncommon to go 25-30 mph on flat roads, and 40+ mph downhill. I have had a number of close calls with deer running out into the road, and have seen PLENTY of turkeys while riding in rural areas. Even small rodents can run out, get caught in wheels, and cause bad crashes and injuries.
Of course I always wear a helmet, but hitting a turkey could cause serious injury or possibly even death, depending on the speed.
23Come on people....It's fun to miss work now and then...Stupid reasons or not. Thankfully, work isn't My Life but a means to pay my bills. Have a little fun you'll feel better....
24We live in the country and my boyfriends bikes the 4 miles to work in the afternoon. He's hit a skunk on his bike, not once but twice. Never on his way TO work, only on his way home. Yuck!!!!
25Well put, dfgbiker.
Here's a related video from the Tour de France: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZrxyijba50
26The guy in white who goes down actually ends up winning later on that day.
The funniest I ever heard was from a cop who was already at work. He popped his head into the duty officer's room and said, "Sgt. I just crapped my pants. I'm going home." And he left. Quickly.
27I once couldn't make it to work -- at all - because the major interstate highway here in the northwestern Atlanta area was blocked for most of the day due to a cattle truck -- full of cattle -- overturning. Cattle - dead and alive - were strewn all over the place. It had happened in the pre-dawn hours. Anytime something like that happens at that hour around here, forget it! The few available detours were jammed full, and remained jammed & unmovable until at least 2 or 3 p.m. I attempted to make it to work a second time around 10/11 a.m., but that attempt lasted about 2 hours. I finally gave up and went home. I didn't have a mobile phone at the time, so I called in as soon as I got home and let them know not to even look for me. It was a terrible mess. Fortunately, I didn't have to explain myself to my primary boss that day. But, it wouldn't have made any sense at all to just stay in the mess that never moved until mid-afternoon anyway. Those kind of things don't happen around here too often, thank goodness!
28Just goes to show how inventive people can be when it comes to trying to get out of work.
29I believe the one about the dead body in the back yard. Unless you live in an affluent neighborhood, then anything is possible.
30I KNOW IT'S SOUNDS RIDICULOUS, BUT MY BEST ONE AND IT IS TRUE IS I FELL OFF OF AN ELEPHANT IN THAILAND
31The excuse about the body is valid it happened to me
32Ok anyone that lives in a major metropolis can understand the parking space!I've actually had the mouthwash thing happen - but I didn't call in - but then again it happened in the morning and I was working the night shift.
33wolverinesd~Yes, knee surgery on a dog. She's quite the climber. She had a torn ACL and floating knee cap. We're not sure if it was from climbing trees or bouncing on the trampoline (both of which she is no longer permitted to do). We bought our third pitbull pup 4 days before her surgery and ended up having to get eye surgery on her for entropian when she was 9 months old. If I didn't have to work to pay for their medical bills and mine I would stay home everyday curled up on the couch cuddling them.
34Death by Turkey!!!! Ha, I hope it was Wild Turkey
35I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in 'dead'.....
36I work a rotating schedule and forgot to show up or call in because I had lost track of the day of the week and thought I was already on days off.
37oneone81 - I seen that video , thanks. I am not sure i would get up from that wreck as easily as he did - neither did my friend that hit a newfoundland - broken collarbone and wrist
38I could believe the turkey one. We had a guy who had a deer basicly try and jump over him on his bike. It ended up in a ditch on the side. He had to wait 2 hours for the tow truck. Also had a guy who had a goose fly into his helmet while he was riding. He had to have several platic surg to get his face repaired. But alot are crap. I don't want to lose my parking space. HAHA tough crap man.
39But if my boss came by my house to check on me ( if we ar enot close friends) It would be the first and last tiem they did that.
Okay now this is sick! At my old job, my coworker was so obsessed with knowing where my boss was when she would have a called off, he would ALWAYS drive past her house on his lunch break, just TRYING to catch her and our general manager together! He was a looney!
40idsims is hilarious...
sad to say, i thought the same thing
the best excuse i've heard was "my garage door won't open".. if you don't live in an area with a great transportation system, it can be quite effective..
41Actually, a bicyclist here in Montana hit a bear not too long ago! That could qualify for a sick day in my book!!!
42Hey, if someone wants to use their sick days when they're not sick, it's their prerogative. If they have the time, they can use it. Why should anyone care? This is why I'm glad that my employer gives us "paid time off" instead of designated vacation, personal, and sick days.
43Okay while I never called into work becuase of it I have put off errands or walked places just so I wouldnt lose my parking spot in front of my apartment, it is very hard to get and keep a good spot where I live. And the dog thing I understand, again I never called off of work but I did hire a dogsitter hahaha
44a boss just driving by huh??
i had a boss come to my house and INCESSANTLY knock on the door till i finally got my OBVIOUSLY sick butt out of bed. needless to say, that was the end of my employment. no way do i need a boss who has the audacity to come over and make sure i wasn't faking it.
(luckily i was actually sick THAT day)
45back in the day when I was more worried about what my friends were doing I called in sick to work by saying a wasp was in my closet so I couldn't get to my work clothes!! Haha how stupid! then the next day I called saying the wasp stung me and I had a reaction!!So the ol allergic to wasps worked for two days!
46Unfortunately, I have totally hit a turkey before (in my car, but still). It jumped out of a bush and smacked into my windshield. Shattered the whole thing & I think I was doing 35mph. Which a biker can do. Bottom line, IT WAS ROTTON! I made it to work, but had to have the glass co. replace it before I could leave again, I couldn't see anything!
47added to that, im also a health care worker, the old car's broke down or im snowed in, doesnt fly. when i say something like that, the state police will come pick me up.
48think about that before you try calling in next time.
I am with roo219 on this one. The excuses are pretty lame and I guess some are funny but what hit me first and hardest is how sick it is that you have to justify your day off to the extent that an employer will drive by your home to check on you. I think this is sick. I have always maintained with every employer that my time is my time, nor do I feel the need to justify to anyone what I am doing with my time off...be it scheduled or a last minute call in. All an employer needs to know is that I am not going to be there. That's it. Nothing more. To allow an employer this level of power over any of us is a travesty. not to mention...how much are you missing if your employer has the time to drive around town and check up on your whereabouts?
49As a supervisor for the last 10 years, I've heard some good ones. My favorite excuse happend just a few weeks ago and I do not doubt for a second he was telling the truth. He called just before the shift started and asked if he could have the day off, his neighbor had just struck a deer with her car and he needed to wait for the gaming commission to come tag it for him and then he needed to process the meat right away before it went bad. In other words, he took a no-pay day for road kill. I just sort of grunted "Okay" and hung up.
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