i don't find it rude at all. we've been thinking of moving for a while now, so i've been asking our friends how much they pay a month for their place. most places here don't tell you all of the extra stuff you'll be paying for on top of your rent. for example, they'll say "water paid for!" in the ad but in reality that just means that they ad it onto your rent at the end of the month.

rent is rent! maybe it would be different if it was a mortgage...but I like to make sure I'm not payign WAY over what I should!

I feel weird sometimes b/c people I know pay triple what I pay. And they always just stare at me and say your apartment is bigger than mine. I looked long and hard for my 1 bedroom apartment and I have been here for 4 years. I don't plan on moving anytime soon and when I do I might be buying.

I don't think it's rude. I'm always glad to share (and, you know, it feels good when you realize you got a deal).

if they are asking cause they are looking for a new place and trying to compare and see what they should be paying, then i have no problem with it!

I don't think it's rude. Sometimes, the best way to make an informed decision is gathering your own data. It helps you in making a life choice that you will likely have to live with for at least a year.

Thanks for asking this question, Savvy! I've been wondering this myself for quite some time.

I have not found it rude when I've been asked in the past.

It's a little rude.. I don't think I'd ever ask someone I didn't know very well, and I'm usually somewhat hesitant to ask at all, unless I'm apartment hunting and said person lives in an area I'm looking at.

I don't think it's rude at all. Especially if someone is apartment hunting themselves or looking for a better deal. It's better to go in educated than never ask and end up with an overpriced crappy place...

I don't think it's rude especially if you're apartment hunting and are interested in a particular area where someone you know lives.

I don't think it's rude to ask. But I don't think anyone has ever asked me how much my mortgage payment is or how much my house cost.

I've had a mortgage for 5 years now and people ask me how much all the time and I've never found it rude. I enjoy telling people how feasible owning is, because I feel bad for the people who never had the mentors to tell them how much better it is than renting (usually).

Technically talking about money is gauche, but since rents are kind of common knowledge anyways, I think its ok.

i dont think its rude to ask..

No, I think people normally ask to find out how much the rent in the area is - and what you can get for the money, not to judge anyone.

I don't think it's rude to ask at all.

we have those same questions here in NYC and i HATE it. it's like if you tell ppl how much you pay then either they are like WHY DO YOU PAY THAT MUCH, or they feel like they know how much money you make if you can afford it. i always feel a bit odd when someone asks me that - cause it's just none of their business.

Not at all -- how else are you supposed to find out if you're getting a good deal from your landlord or not?

I'd never ask a person I don't know well, or someone who I know is very private and/or aloof. And when I do ask, I preface it with "may I ask", and never persist if the person doesn't want to share. And I only ask when I'm looking for a similar place in the area, not to suss out how much money the person makes. I've lived in three different cities in the past five years, so this kind of infomation has been very valuable.

It doesn't bother me. If I were in an apartment complex and one of the neighbors asked me I might be a little bothered, if I knew we were paying different amounts.

I agree with ilanac13 when I was living in NYC I hated telling people where in the city I lived (I was on the Upper Eastside) and what my rent was because you can see the calculator in their head thinking I know how much she makes.

In Portland it is not such a big deal.

I agree with ilanac13 when I was living in NYC I hated telling people where in the city I lived (I was on the Upper Eastside) and what my rent was because you can see the calculator in their head thinking I know how much she makes.

In Portland it is not such a big deal.

chocalatine I do the same thing. I would never just assume someone was comfortable with telling me!

I don't mind telling people about my mortage if they ask, it's usually someone trying to figure out what they could afford so I don't mind helping them out. I know when I was a renter and looking for a place in town, I polled all my friends that lived there to find a place that fit my needs and budget.

I have talk to people from my closet friends and family down to a complete stranger about their cost of living. Especially if i am wanting to move to that area i want to know what to be expecting each month as a cost of living and how to budget. But i see something wrong when talking about how much i make. Its just not something i see as a private matter

I don't mind when people ask me. If it helps them (i.e. when looking for the right apt), then I'd be happy to tell them. I'm a little cautious though when I am the one who's doing the asking. I usually just ask when we're talking about rent or the like, and I always start with "Do you mind me asking..."

There's a website called rentometer.com that will (supposedly) tell you if you're paying too much. There are a few other sites like that that help you research rents by area, but I can't think of what they are...

I don't think it's rude at all. When I was a renter, I never minded telling people what my rent was, and I have asked other renters what their rent was.

I think a mortgage is a slightly different situation for some, but for me personally, I don't have a problem with people asking what my mortgage is. Communication on these issues is important so that consumers are better informed.

Its a cultural thing, to some extent.

I never thought much of it in the USA even as I saw money as a bit of a crass issue to "talk about openly".

When I moved to Britain, at least among the people I knew in Scotland it was definitely a bit rude to talk about money publicly in virtually ANY context, including rents, so that further cut down on the money chat.

In fact, Scotland really changed me. Even if one was to split the bill at dinner, (my ex-husband was really wiggy about this one), you never did it at the table. Someone paid, then the bills were sorted out in private later, in the car or the home. (which is a bit carried away, but I think that was his ego that I was paying for part or all of a meal sometimes. )

Anyway, with that culture's experience, I now find that if someone asks me, I don't really take offence but after so many years in Britain, I am a bit shocked if someone asks me about anything financial since I have come to view it as a private matter....it can seem kind of blunt, though if an American asks, I usually know its not meant to be rude, just inquisitive about the property, etc.

Depends on the context, I think.

"I'm looking for an apt in this neighborhood and I'm not sure if I'm getting reasonable quotes. How much do you pay for yours?" is ok.

"Oh man you apartment is huge! How much do you pay??" Seems less OK.

rabidmoon, it's funny that your experience in Scotland was so different from mine. I used to live in Edinburgh, first as a grad student, then as an employee of the university, and my fellow students, coworkers and friends were always happy to discuss rent and property prices. It was probably because it was a very international group, not just Scots.

I don't think it's rude for friends to ask. They're usually just trying to make their own plans, and if I can help them, I'm glad to.

I find it rude when people ask me. My rent is high and so I hate when people say "Oh my god, how can you afford that?????" Well, I have a good job, thank you very much.

I find it Very Rude! I pay a lot more than most of my friends [enough to own], so it pisses me off when they get nosy and ask. If I offer it up, then it is no big deal. If I don't - then it is like mind your own fk'n business.

(my rent is practically DOUBLE my mother's house note... it is totally worth it for my family.. But yeah - it makes me pretty angry.)

I live in New york as well And to me If your asking because your hunting for an aprtment, or a friend or family member i dont find it rude at all. But I would still feel kinda werid telling it ya know kinda personal.

I agree with the posters who say that context matters. If you are looking for a new place it helps to know where the ballpark (figure-wise) is.

I lived in England for several years. I spent time in Cambridge, the Midlands, and in Manchester. People in the Northwest of England never seemed to be shy about asking me about how much I paid for things or in telling me what they thought I should have paid. I guess things are really different on opposite sides of Hadrian's Wall.

I just checked out that rentometer.com, it was pretty cool and says i gotta a good deal for where we just moved.

it depends in the context it was asked and who is asking. It's like when you are asked about your house purchase cost, you immediately sense that the reason for the question is to figure how much you are worth.

only ok if they are a close friend and you discuss these kind of personal details already...otherwise totally innapropriate

I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask how much people pay for their housing, since you can usually get the info by asking the management or looking up the sales price from the property appraiser. But clearly there are people out there who have rude reactions when they hear the cost.

I was brought up to believe that its impolite to discuss money - debts, salaries or otherwise. I understand, however, that my generation is more transparent with that information, so I try to be gracious when asked to disclose my rent. I give them the range that I was shopping in, and tell them I was very happy to find something in my range. Usually they don't push any further.

Yes! It is rude because it's generally rude to ask how much things cost, and rent especially can give you an idea of where someone is financially in general. If you want to know, you can kind of hint, like "I keep hearing this neighborhood is pricey" or "It's so hard to find a rental for a good price." If you make a general comment like that, the person you're talking to will volunteer the information if they want to.