If they don't give it to me, I don't ask!

If people are shopping from their registry, that should eliminate duplicates.

Like jen1975 said, if you're shopping from the registry, why would they need the receipt? Didn't they pick out everything on there?

First of all, the registries should NOT have been included in the invitation! Registry info. gets passed on either by word of mouth, a wedding webpage, or in the shower invitation. It is incredibly rude for it to be included in the actual wedding invitation.

Second, unless somebody directly asks, I gather it's pretty much rude to even mention your registry to your guests. Your wedding is about getting married, not about the loot. People know how a wedding work and know that there's probably a registry somewhere. Wedding gifts are not mandatory from guests.

I completely agree ewray4381. I just got married early this summer. We put our registry information on the website and if asked my husband's mother said to her family that cash would be a nice gift.
That being said, we did receive some gifts that were duplicates without gift receipts despite having registries. It ended up being quite a hassle to sort everything out and return what we needed to. BUT I would never ask for gift receipts, the only people that knew about the mess afterwards were my husband and I. We completely appreciated every gift we received and thought long and hard about returning everything, but when you end up with 2 identical toasters off your registry, you've got to return one. So, as a guest, I always include a gift receipt just in case, but I would never ask for one.

Ewray, I think like this too, but for some reason people think I'm bizarre for having this opinion. Personally, I find it really tacky to open the wedding invitation and have three or FOUR slips fall out from Target, Bed Bath, etc. I recently went to a wedding where the guests straight out requested money (through word of mouth) rather than gifts and I was kind of relieved.

i don't necessarily think that it's rude. think about it this way. you don't always get ONLY ONE of whatever you've asked for and if you know that there's a chance that you may have to make a return, and that you might not get to it right away - you would hope that you'd get full value but in today's economy things are put on sale so quickly that your outcome wouldn't be of the same value.

if i were giving someone a gift that cost $200 and by the time they went to return it it was 1/2 off so it was worth $100, then it's like i wasted $100 since they don't get that back. i would rather that they have access to get a credit for the full value - and get what they want.

just cause you get a gift receipt - that doesn't mean you get cash since you rarely do upon return. it's just insurance that you'll get a credit equal to what the giver paid.

I agree with bits of every one's comments, i doubt you'd get cash back even with a receipt bc when making a return in general the money is given back in the form you paid, and since the couple didn't pay for it . . . they'll just get a store credit . . .registries can be so super tacky- I also just got an invitation with little registry cards in it and i just hate the principle of it. My fiance and I are not doing a registry, luckily we can afford all the house items we need- i dont need someone to buy me a blender, but i realize some couples marry young or out of school and do needs those things so that's ok. if people give us gifts or not either way is fine with us, but if they do we'll appreciate that they pick something special for us, i hate the idea of buying someone something they picked out themselves!

I said 'no' because I registered with Babies R Us and they require a receipt in order to exchange something. So if you end up with duplicate items from Babies R Us and you have no receipt, you're screwed.

some places have changed their polices...they let you exchange or give you a card for purchases for their store. i actually think for wedding/babies registries they should never give out cash..just exchange or give credit to get what you need.

I am planning a baby shower and will request all gifts include a gift receipt. The reason being that it protects all parties involved. most stores today do not give cash for a gift receipt, but rather store credit.

What if the item you bought breaks? Causes an illergic reaction? Is uglier than they imagined? Just was not the right fit for them? The recipient(s) can take that dreaded gift receipt and exchange their item with less hassle.

For example, Target limits returns without a receipt to 3 a year as a loss prevention tactic(read: theft deterrant). Other stores, like Bath & Body Works, Barnes & Noble, etc. ask you to provide everything other than your social security number to keep track of how many non0receipt returns you make (read: they think you stole it). I worked at Old Navy for 4 years and you would not believe how many shoplifters came in with items they had "received as a gift without a receipt."

Yes, a registry can help to limit such returns, but if they ask for a gift receipt, it's better to know they may return the item to get what they need or prefer to what they asked for or what you gave them. Because we all know that person who deviates from the registry to be "special" and buy a gift the couple, m2b, graduate or birthday girl is not pleased with.

I can see why you would be offended at the idea that the couple would want a gift receipt but often times couples will get multiples of things on their registry and if they don't have the receipt then they're stuck with it. Plus they might have to come to you and ask you for it and which is more rude, way after the fact coming to you and saying "Uh hey can I get the receipt to that gift you gave me?" or them asking for it with out knowing what it is. If they ask before hand then you know it's not about your gift because they haven't even seen it yet.

I dont think its rude, and alot of companies like Target and Bed Bath have little cards to insert into invitations.

I think it's a little bit rude. I wouldn't get my panties in a bunch over it, though.

But, I don't think there's any huge conspiracy here. I think the couple is just being practical.

I'll also say that the whole "don't put your registry info in your invitations" rule is a bit outdated. In the olden days, all your guests knew someone in your bridal party, so it was fine to give them the information and let them distribute it covertly for you. These days, it's fairly likely that a large number of your guests know you and only you...or perhaps you and your friends. Me personally, if the wedding invitation doesn't tell me where the registry is, or provide a website that does, and I don't know the couple's parents, the couple is going to end up getting a gift card or cash. Maybe they don't mind that, but it eliminates the point of a registry. Lots of brides put the registry info on the website to bypass the rule, but it just seems silly to me.

There's polite, and there's practical, and they shouldn't have to be at odds with each other!

Proper invitation etiquette is to not ask for gifts... period. As Ewray said, everyone knows that registries exist and its perfectly fine to be included in a shower given in your honor by someone else.

Also, i never had a problem returning anything that i registered for without a gift receipt. All the transactions were available on their computer system.

And I got a couple obviously recycled gifts - e.g. vases that looked a little outdated and weren't in a department store box or something similar - but I never would have DARED asked for a gift receipt. Some people cant afford nice gifts and its the thought that counts. We tried to find uses for all the gifts though, even the ones that werent returnable and not our taste.

I just think it's rude to ask for gifts, period.

Extremely tacky/rude and their is nothing anyone can say to make me change my mind. Most stores offer to print a gift receipt when they see the 25 pages of registry gifts that people have printed. The slips of papers in wedding annoucements drive me insane. I do not think it is outdated thinking at all to me spending a lot of money on an annoucement than adding a ton of tacky cards that say I am registered at is horrible and ruins all the effort going into the day.

I usually just give cash on the wedding day anyway and only buy an actual gift if I go to the shower.

I went with my friend when she needed to exchange/return some of her duplicates and just plain ugly things she receieved that were not on her registry it was not a big deal at all. Both Macy's and Crate and Barrell were great and either gave her what she wanted or a gift card to use later.

TACKY.

I was going to make the same point as ilanac. I have worked in retail for some time now (I was full time, now I just do it for extra money) and I am an avid shopper. The only store I have ever known of giving cash back with a gift receipt is Nordstrom. (Well, they don't have gift receipts, they put bar code stickers on the tag, but it's the same idea.) Anyway, gift receipts don't guarantee tender type, just price.

Regardless, I think it's tacky to ask for a gift receipt, but I also think guests should include a gift receipt on their own. A lot of times people forget to have the cashier scan the registry or the cashier makes an error. I would hate to be stuck with four blenders.

Any kind of gift solicitation is tacky.

The point should be, its THEIR day, and the bride and groom can do whatever they like!!!

That said, I wouldnt do this, but I also wouldnt ask for gifts.

My sister is getting married next year, and has requested, extremely politely, that they want the company above all, but if you can give, to give cash for their honeymoon. Not alot of money and they really want a honeymoon. I think thats the best way to do what they want, and if thats their request then they will get it from me!

i agree with cocolatine! it shouldn't have been mentioned in the first place, and whether or not they just "want cash," the way they put it was very rude

most establishments will let you return an item that is on your registry so the need for a gift receipt is unnecessary.

I think asking for gift receipts is perfectly fine. The way they executed it (through a wedding invite, really?) was a poor choice.

SO TACKY!!! incredibly rude!
People who are making the point that "the couple might not like the gift or it might break etc," need to realize that they are gifts!! No guest has any obligation to give them (though of course it would also be rude not to) and if the couple doesn't like what they received it's not like they lost anything, is it? The wedding should be about getting married, not about gifts and money, and asking for a gift receipt is point blank saying 'you must get me something and cover me so I can still get something else if don't like it.'

I got invited to a wedding shower once in college and on the invitation the bride wrote in her all her dress, shirt, pant, and underwear sizes. I wasn't even really good friends with her (we had one class) so it just proved to me that all she wanted were gifts.

I just got married last year, and we definitely did not have registry info on our invitations. The girls who threw my bridal shower included it on that invite, and other guests just asked my mom. I can't believe people would specifically ask for gift receipts - most guests included them anyway, but honestly, anything we didn't like we (a) tried to return anway, (b) decided we'd just stick it in the closet, or (c) are saving for the next wedding/holiday we go to

The wedding registry/gift is, in my opinion, supposed to be an unspoken aspect of a wedding. I think it's incredibly tacky to put the registries on the invitation/shower invitation or directly ask for cash. Family members or members of the wedding party (such as the mother of the groom, mother of the bride, maid of honor...) are supposed to share this information if asked. Asking for a gift receipt is beyond pushing it! A wedding is supposed to be about love and life and the merging of two families - not coming away with tons of loot and cash!

...Most retailers don't give cash for gift receipts, simply because the person who is on the receiving end was not the person with the original tender. Instead, most stores give in-store credit, or an even exchange. With that being said, its not rude, especially if they do get duplicates, or they end up with something that they don't use/need.

...although it is tacky to have in wedding invites...

It's tacky to include ANY gift information in an invitation, because it's tacky to ask for gifts.

i think it's not so rude on a shower invitation, which is usually throw by someone other than the couple. i think it's inappropriate in a wedding invitation. i always include a gift receipt w/any gift i give tho... BUT... any gift we received that we didnt like, or had two of... (like maggie above) we regifted! hahaha

I'm surprised how many people think this is some horrible offense. Everyone knows a gift is expected at a wedding. So why is it so horrible to express a preference for how to get those gifts? Why is it tacky to talk about gifts directly?

If a couple didn't want gifts, they wouldn't throw a reception and give guests a free meal and entertainment. They would just share the actual ceremony with guests and that would be the end of it.

I totally agree with chocolatine. If you got something awful and you knew the person well enough, I would talk to them afterwards.

Like one year for my birthday, my uncle got me a REALLY expensive bag that just was not practical/my style, etc., so I asked him politely if he would be offended if I exchanged the bag for something a little more practical, and he totally understood and said that I could return it as long as I spent the money on something that was a splurge--he didn't want me to pay my bills with it or something. I don't see why this should be a problem with a wedding gift either, as long as you're close to the giftee.

If a close family member or friend buys a duplicate, I think it's fine to request the receipt from them. However, if it's not someone you know well, then it's awkward.
I don't think you should request receipts from everyone. Aside from getting a BILLION receipts that you'll probably never need--but they might very well need for record-keeping purposes--it just seems as if you're sending the message that "Yes, we'll be glad to get your gifts and we'll love every one of them--well, maybe. Actually, we might want to return them all and get something that isn't so cheap. This is all you spent? So pathetic."

i think it's rude to ask for one, but i also think it's kind of rude not to automatically include one with the gift.

I agree with CoralAmber! Weddings cost a lot of money and take a lot of time and energy; gifts were always supposed to be both a gesture of friendship and a symbol of thanks in compensation for the party. I'm coming from a Chinese background though, where traditionally "lucky red envelopes" (filled with cash) are given at weddings instead of gifts. This is supposed to help compensate for the cost of the wedding in addition to showing support for the new couple as they begin a family.

Although, I do have to agree that it sounds pretty pointless to ask for a gift receipt to be included with the gift. If they just wanted cash, they probably could have just asked for it instead of trying to go it in a roundabout way.

I want to agree that it's supposed to be the thought that matters but I speak from experience in saying some people really don't think and need to have things spelled out for them. And I think anyone who doesn't knows me well enough to be offended by what I include in my invitation probably isn't close enough to me to be included in such an elaborate day.

I think it's rude to give gifts when the couple has SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU NOT TO.

Can you tell I'm speaking from personal experience???

We live on the road - musicians - and while we didn't include any registry info in our invites (obv - rude), we told our parents to tell people who asked that we really didn't want any "things". Like, really. Not kidding, please don't give us anything.

The answer, when asked, was "They are working really hard to save money for a house and a new car, and if you would like to contribute to this, I'm sure they would appreciate it, but if you aren't comfortable giving cash gifts, please make a charitable contribution to "this" charity in their name, or please give them nothing - you weren't invited to the wedding so that you would bring a gift, you were invited because the bride and groom love you and want you there."

So what has happened, you ask? I'm sure you can guess, but I'll tell you anyway, and I will yell while I do it:

PEOPLE ARE SENDING US STUPID GIFTS THAT WE DON'T WANT LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER, WITHOUT RECEIPTS, FROM COMPANIES THAT WILL NOT ALLOW US TO RETURN THEM FOR CASH!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

And then I feel angry and frustrated, and like a total a-hole for getting angry and frustrated at nice people who want to be generous and give us something as we begin our lives together.

But IS it really generous and nice when you are SPECIFICALLY IGNORING the wishes of the people you are supposedly doing something nice for??? I don't think so.

"It's tacky to include ANY gift information in an invitation, because it's tacky to ask for gifts."

that's right!
if you don't like the gifts that you receive or get duplicate gifts, you can donate what ever you don't need or want. its too bad for you that you wish you could get cash back or store credit/exchange (which is almost like cash) but its not worth being so rude and tacky about! i would even feel guilty getting my mom to answer people's inquiries 'they are saving for... so...(hint hint)' (not that i would not accept or give monetary gifts, but the mom hint thing is pretty transparent, imo)
omG some people have never heard of manners!

"If a couple didn't want gifts, they wouldn't throw a reception and give guests a free meal and entertainment. They would just share the actual ceremony with guests and that would be the end of it."

Wow, that's kind of a sad and bizarre way to look at it! I hope you realize that, some guests come from out of down and the free dinner and whatever else still does not compensate their trip cost! If you can't afford your wedding, you can't afford your wedding, nobody should be guilted into giving you cash, or something of value to you (and the EXACT one you want). Almost everyone buys a wedding gift anyways, and monetary gifts are more and more popular these days. Being specific about gifts just makes people feel awkward if they can't afford what you want, or worry that their monetary gift will be the smallest one. I am glad to see that the whole world has not gone crazy and many people agree that this all is very rude! A store offering a service does not mean the service is not tacky.

Amen kamiko82!

"If a couple didn't want gifts, they wouldn't throw a reception and give guests a free meal and entertainment. They would just share the actual ceremony with guests and that would be the end of it."

My husband and I didn't have a ceremony or a reception (we couldn't afford it), and nobody sent us a thing. Not even our parents. We didn't really need anything, but some sort of acknowledgment (just cards from our close friends & family) would have been nice. We're coming up on our fifth anniversary, and I'm still bitter. I'm convinced that you have to put on the big wedding show for people to get anything in return.

But on the topic: asking for gift receipts is rude, but not giving a gift receipt is inconsiderate, especially for occasions when a large number of "traditional" gifts might be expected. Who needs four crock pots?

I think it's pretty rude to specifically request gift receipts. I'm actually a little shocked that anyone would do this. If a store doesn't allow returns without receipts, then don't register there. I would rather not register at all or register at an alternate location than to ask my guests for gift receipts. That being said, if I'm giving a gift, I usually do include a gift receipt but I just think it's tacky to request one.

I include a gift receipt with all of my wedding and shower gifts. I understand why people would want to have it, and if it's not specifically what they wanted or they already had it, then I'd be happy to have them return it and get something else they want. Asking for a gift receipt just undermines the whole concept of appreciating a gift for a gift's sake.

I agree Heidi MD....Applause... aplause.

Yes, it's rude. First of all, you can't expect that everyone will give you gifts - gifts are not mandatory! You shouldn't include those papers in your invites about where you're registered - that's not proper etiquitte either. Your guests find out where you're registered by asking the parents of the bride or groom, or the wedding party, or checking your website. And asking for gift receipts is extremely rude, it shows that you just want to return everything you're getting for money. The places where you register shouldn't require gift reciepts to return items that were purchased off your registry - it might be only for store credit, but at least you'd be able to get something you want. If you just demand presents and gift receipts from people it will come off as ungrateful and greedy.

i think it's rude to ask, but it's stupid for people not to include them.

I think it is a little rude to ask, but i put no. Why? I know for a fact that not everyone understands to take the list of registered items to the register, circle what they bought, and have it all scanned so that it is removed from the list for others. If I receive 3 blenders...i might know where to return them, but what if I am only given store credit when I may need to put that cash toward something I registered for at a different store?

Rude to request the gift receipt? No. In theory you shouldn't get duplicates but it happens all too often.

Rude to put blatantly include registry information with the invitation? Yes.

I think it's a little rude to state in the invitation where you're registered...to me, that says "FYI, I'm getting married. You can come watch if you want, but you better get me a present!" I prefer the old-fashioned methodology of telling a few of your gossipy female relatives/friends where you're registered, and let people ask.