honestly, it depends regular purchaes like shoes clothes no. but if its something like a pair of malino blanics or something thats really expensive i do talk to him first. Just like when he wanted to buy a 3000 dollar tv he called first and we decided to wait and find a cheaper one.

I am not married but I do talk to BF about purchases by simply getting an "okay":) Because when he bought his flat screen tv from his stimulus, I did not know until a week later that he got one!

My husband and I will let each other know about small purchases after we've already bought them, but if it was something that cost more than a hundred or so, we'd consult with each other before making any purchases.

With us it's a mix- we try to be smart and don't do a lot of unnecessary purchasing, but we have good jobs so we get what we want within reason. We don't ask each other for permission but we always discuss and tell each other when we are going shopping (even when I'm just going to Sephora)- this is almost more for our own sake- by telling him oh i'm just going to get moisturizer and lipstick, it prevents me from spending too much or getting unnecessary stuff- same for him with dvds or cds etc. Neither of us desire "splurge" items like Loubs so it would never be an issue of "freedom" for a purchase like that.

Anything over $100 we discuss first, and anything between $50 and $100 (other than grocery store bills, lol) we let each other know after the fact. Under $50 we usually mention, but more often in the "how was your day" conversation than in the "I spent this much" conversation. I also let him know before I buy anything on ebay, because we use the same account and all the emails to go him.

For Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries we usually set an upper (and lower, for mutual gift giving times, like anniversaries) limit, but don't discuss the actual cost.

Naw, I pretty much keep a reasonable amount designated as my own entertainment fund for a month because I know I can get out of hand if I see a sale. And he does the same because he goes nuts in the electronics section.

But, I do the same thing that Ryot pretty much does: discuss anything over $100.

If it's something we have enough cash for in our own individual accounts, taking into account the bills each of us is responsible for, then no, we go ahead and get it and then maybe mention it later. But if it's going on the credit card it gets discussed! Luckily that means our purchases are never crazy expensive so it's not an issue.

We don't have to check with each other to spend our personal spending money but for large purchases that would come out of our joint money, we discuss it first.

My fiance and I do almost all of our shopping together, so it's moot. Pretty much any penny that gets spent (other than lunch or other day-to-day expenses at work) is discussed before it happens...we don't really buy that much, so it's not as codependent as it seems. It's all predetermined in our annual budget anyhow.

I HAVE those loubs, which I bought WITHOUT checking in with my boyfriend. We live together, but keep separate accounts. While we share financial goals, and plan and save for them as a partnership, I have plenty of discretionary income to spend as I please. Besides, I am the one who busted my butt through law school and passed the bar - not him. If I want loubs, and I can afford them, I am getting them .

Anything over $200 is discussed prior.

Anything under $200 and more than $50 is usually talked about after the fact.

P.S. Those shoes(and the same ones in black) are my FAVORITE shoes ever. I bought them as a reward to myself for paying off my loans and have never had an ounce of regret! They go with everything!)

It really depends on HOW MUCH an item/s would cost. Also depends on if it's "We need" (grocery shopping) vs "I want" (clothes, electronics) shopping. For small stuff ... no, but I share my bargain finds with him afterwards ... for large stuff ... we always discuss it ahead of time.

Major purchases -- new computer, etc, -- always discussed beforehand. But, uh, then again, I did buy a new set of $600 Wusthof knives and tell him about it AFTER the fact. But it was with $500 worth of birthday money I received for my birthday, whereas he spent his birthday money on a computer for himself. So, I guess as long as we tell each other where the money goes, it's fine. I manage the finances, he doesn't ask questions. As long as I remember to pay off his medical school loans each month, and there's plenty in the bank account, he doesn't question where the money goes!

We usually do check.

It depends on which account the money's coming from. Usually, we consult each other (and sleep on it) if it's over $100, but if the money comes from either individual account, we don't have to consult each other, as that money is considered spent when it gets transferred in.

We dont have any set rules for spending & discussing. We both kinda get what we want and talk about it when the CC bill comes. We buy everything on Amex so we get big money back at the end of the year for rewards.

We don't exert any restraint on each other's spending, because we're both firm believers in independence and freedom to spend your money however you please.

BUT he is aware of all my purchases, because I just love showing them off, and because the bf lives with me, he's usually the one that has to suffer through my parading.
I generally leave the prices out, and at worst I lie about them by rounding down... or at least dodge it by simply saying "it was on sale!".

Recently I let it slip that I spent $300 on a dress last month, and he seemed disappointed, but only because he knows I'm saving for school and trying to pay off dental bills. Ultimately though, I'm allowed to get whatever I want, and I like it that way.

I definitely need to learn some more prudent spending habits, and this is the best way to do it.

god I love those shoes! I want a pair!

My b/f knows I like to shop and I often buy clothes, shoes, and purses without telling him first. It's my money though and even though we live together, our finances are completely separate. When we do get married some time in the distant future, I'm pretty sure we'll open up a joint checking account to pay for necessities and things we buy together. In the meantime though, we really only consult each other for big-ticket purchases over $100 like many of the other people here. For instance, we just split the cost of a new LCD HDTV that he spent months shopping around for and we got a great deal on it.

I don't tell my husband squat about my purchases before hand. It's none of his business. We have no joint accounts, and we each keep separate savings accounts. As long as we save the minimum we commit to saving each month, we don't harass each other about expenses.

First, I'm a little miffed by the idea that the example that is given is shoes for the gals and tech for the guys, especially coming from a site that has a geek section. A simple "(or vice versa)" somewhere in there would have lessened the stereotype.

But, that aside, my husband and I keep separate finances. He had a significant nest egg before our marriage, and I make significantly more per year (but I had student loans that kept me from establishing savings for the first 8 years of my career). Thus, both of us have reasons to keep things separated. We only consult each other for major purchases that would go out of the joint fund, such as home repairs, vacations, and furniture.

I'm so glad I don't have to get permission for anything I do!

We've had separate accounts from day one (25 years together) and we're always together so it's never been an issue. As for the shoes (a girl can never have to many) I love them but can't stand the way the red wears off and looks tacky unless you see the cobbler to have them repainted. I, myself, would like to see another color sole; really tired of the red.

I'd try not to. That's wrong, but I would whine for a minute and if he says no, then I'd March right down to the bank and dip into MY ACCOUNT and get what the hell I want.

Marriage is a partnership. Cooperating with finances really strengthens the bond and couples who keep everything separate really make me nervous. My husband and I consult each other before expensive, unnecessary purchases.

We have our separate accounts that we don't check with each other on, but if we need anything outside of that, then we budget it from one of our other accounts.

P.S. @jkat What shoes are those? It's so funny you mentioned that because when I saw them I thought "Ooh those shoes would be perfect in black!"

Don't be nervous for me, it's worked wonderful for 25 years and it will still work in another 25. Never had an argument over money ever, unlike some of our friends who constantly fight over the checkbook or is that online bank account.

They are Christian Louboutin's Decollete pump. http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/product/33459?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-Produc...

My husband and I keep out money seperate so we don't need to check with each other. But if it is something expensive we might mention it before we buy it.

My husband and I have a join account which we put money in for household expenses. We also have separate accounts if I'm getting something for myself or the house (if it's something small) I use my personal account. He doesn't question me and I don't question his purchases. We talk about purchased made from our joint credit card and joint bank account. Oh and purchase made on card from Home Depot and so on.

my fiance and i discussed our financial plan a few nights ago. once we're married, we plan on having four accounts (aside from our long-term investments):

-one joint checking, for rent, groceries, student loan payments, etc.
-one joint savings, for shorter-term goals, like our wedding & down-payment funds
-two individual checking accounts for our play money

anything in our "play" accounts is fair game to save or spend as we each see fit.

No, we do not have to get clearance from the other b/c we trust each others decisions.
We do, however, usually discuss very large purchases (cars, electronics) since we talk about most everything that happens in our day and have open communication.

I think if you both have your own separate accounts and a household account for shared responsibilities, if either person has some play room then they should be able to spend their hard earned money on something they really want.

Both people need to use common sense on purchases and be really sure if they splurge that they still have something in savings as just in case money.

I don't have this problem because I'm not married (yet), but no I would not check in. If my contribution to the bills is paid, and my contribution to our rainy-day fund was paid, then the rest of my money from my paycheck is mine to do with it as I wish, and my husband should trust me to not buy useless crap and I'd trust my husband in the same way. Why should I have to ask for permission when I'm making my own spending money? Why should he have to ask me? Sure, I might call him but that would be because I'm so excited that I'm about to get an amazing deal on that designer handbag that I've wanted for a while and he's the first person on my speed dial! lmao

my fiance and i decided a long time ago that whateer money we earned, we can do with as we please as long as our joint commitments are being fulfilled. (rent/bills etc). this means that he doesn't ask me when he wants to buy things and i don't ask him. it probably alleviates a lot of stress since that's why a lot of couples argue huh? the only issue right now is that i don't make enough money to treat myself to anything - i haven't gone shopping for myself in ages cause i only make enough to cover my rent/car payment/mortgage on my 2nd home/bills. i wish i could afford to buy loubs or whatever else there is that i want, but right now it's not in the cards for me.

We really don't talk about anything under $100, anything over that we discuss.