I would take it like a middle name like Miss Hillary.

Can the woman afford the consequence to business if people do not recognize who they are dealing with if their reputation was built up on a previous name? If so, then yes, change the name. If not, don't bother changing the name. But, at least talk to the husband about it so he doesn't feel slighted as to why she's still known by her maiden name in networking.

I'm changing my name, but I moved to another country to be with my husband, so I'm starting new anyways, wouldn't affect me either way.

I have a friend who wants to keep her maiden name professionally but take her husband's name personally (whoever that ends up being). But I say just pick one.

I use First Name Maiden Name Married Name professionally, but legally I am First Name Middle Name Maiden Name Married Name and only use the married name. It's confusing to look at here but has worked out marvelously.

I took my maiden name as a second middle name so I could keep it familiar with my photography and contacts, but still have the same last name as my husband.

Legally I use my first name, middle name, and married surnam. I tried to use both professionaly (First MI. Maiden Married) but people seemed to get confused. I was always being asked are you Maiden or Married? So now I just use my married name.

I have been thinking I will probably not change my name when I get married. Is this weird?

I used my maiden name as my middle name and then just write all three. It seems to work out just fine for me with very little confusion.

I decided to change my name legally to First name Maiden name Married Name, and identify myself that way professionaly, even though I'd mostly go by First name Married name personally.

I changed it that way with Soc. Sec., but then the DMV wouldn't let me do that, so my drivers license says First name Middle name (from birth) Married name. I don't even know which one is my legal name at this point, so I'd imagine everyone else is confused too.

Well, I changed my last name when I got married - but honestly, the decision was much easier as I had a pretty terrible last name (maiden name) that I had actually considered changing before I got married.

i have a long last name & even though it sounds exactly like it's spelled, people have trouble pronouncing it. i'll be happy to get rid of it when i get married. if i had an easier last name, i'd probably think twice about changing it when i got married.

I did not change my name when I got married, so this wasn't an issue for me. (ehadams - the only person who thought it was "weird" was my MIL, but she's over it now. she took it personally at first)

I have a conundrum. I already have a hyphenated last name (Dad-Mom). My mom picked up the hyphenated last name too, and since my parents are divorced, it is a unifying factor for the both of us. Future Husband's last name is much more generic, but is a huge point of pride for his family too. Do I just add another hyphen (Dad-Mom-FH)? Drop my current last name? Or just keep it as is?

I was just thinking about this on the way home today. I have built my career and all my credentials with my name currently, but when I get married I want to take that surname. Then I don't want to have to reorder any certificates that clients may see in the office (some people are so easily confused). I think I'll just add my Maiden name in addition to my middle and be done with it. I'll figure the rest out later I guess lol.

I told my bf a few weeks ago that when I get married I probably wouldn't change my name, because I have already published some papers under my maiden name (and will hopefully have published a lot more by the time I'm married, who knows when that will be!). He did not like that at all! So I said I would consider changing it personally but not professionally. He thought that was better but I feel thats a pretty generous compromise. Why should I change my name when he gets to keep his? I like mine better!

I am not going to change my name. I don't understand why I would ever want to. I've told my boyfriend and his family already.

And Dr. No, I agree and I think you should stick to your guns! My bf and I are currently discussing future children's names. Not that we have any plans for either kids or marriage in the near future!

His father doesn't like the name thing, but honestly, marriage to me isn't about changing myself, or morphing into someone else(or else's family). It is about finding someone who loves me for who I am.

I am currently trying to decide whether to take my fiance's last name. I have a Chinese maiden name, and I really want to keep it because my name is a huge source of identity, pride, family, and love for me. That being said, it is also important to me to be part of my fiance's family, because I feel honored to be joining their clan. Professionally, I am going to go by my First Name, Maiden Name, Married Name, because I am building my professional reputation maiden name. But I am not sure what to do socially, because using First-Maiden-Married ends up being quite long, and I worry that my maiden name will slowly fall out of use. I don't really know what to do.

The whole thing is so complicated. No matter what you do, there is someone who will give you grief about your choice.

What I did: I added my husband's last name, so now I have four names: First / Middle / Maiden as Middle / HisLast. Luckily, Social Security and the DMV were fine with this - I was prepared to pitch a fit if they weren't.

Outside work I am First Maiden HisLast, and I am that ALL THE TIME. Never just First HisLast. As we go on I might put up less of a fuss when people refer to me that way, but when I have a say-so, I go with the three-name approach. I refer to it as "the Sandra Day O'Connor method," and people usually get it. (Matter of fact, I am thinking of writing to her to let her know just how helpful she has been in this matter!)

At work I've kept my name for now, but eventually I will switch to my three-part name. Not sure what reason would prompt me to do it, but at the very least I'll switch at my next job.

I think the important thing is to know that whatever you want to do with your name is OK. There is no law that says you can only have three names as your full name. There is no rule that says you can't use three names in daily life. There is always someone who will think your name choice is weird or wrong for whatever reason, so forget the haters and do what feels right to you.

since i'm a teacher, it just seems easier to change it to my future husband's name. all the students already call me "mrs. so and so" just because they're so used to most of their teachers being married. i hate correcting them, "no, it's MISS so and so." after a couple of years, no one would remember the unmarried me, so it doesn't matter.

my bf now jokes that if i don't take his name, he can find someone else. some guys are like that, especially if they have a lot of pride in their last name. i don't care either way. when i was really little, i just thought people changed their last name to the best one, not just the guy's! lol

I didn't change my last name when I got married. I think everyone should just do whatever is their personal preference and not worry about what is weird or not.

I legally hyphenated, but use my maiden name profesionally and my married name socially (and a few family members address me formally with my legal hyphenated name). I did this for the ease of documentation -- I'm in science, and already had publications out under my maiden name, so I didn't want to change, but my husband was very adamant about wanting me to change my name. However, I've first-hand witnessed an issue about a woman who changed her name legally, but just went by her maiden name in the lab, be denied access to a flight that was booked by someone else for her using her scientific name, as it did not match her passport. This way, both names are on all my legal documentation, so as long as one of my last names is on something, I'm good to go.
Plus, when all my names are used in order, there's a really nice flow to it. I also work WAY too many hours, and have a really difficult time separating my personal life from my work life, and having two separate names honestly helps me try to achieve a bit of separation.

We're not allowed taking our husband's name here. We're not even given the choice.

What gets confusing is when you have kids....who gets what name? And how will that work when dealing with kids situations.

My boss changed her last name personally but kept her maiden professionally and she had trouble at the airport because the clients booked airline tickets with her professional last name which wasn't on her identification or something.....caused trouble so be thorough if you are going to use two names. Also, my co-worker never took her husband's last name and they had a heck of a time with mail and memberships to things....haha.

Oh man don't even get me started on this!! Where I'm from the woman doesn't change her name, she adds the husband's last name with the word "de" (of) in front of it.

So if Jane Doe marries John Smith, it would be Jane Doe of Smith legally. She mostly just goes by her own name and if for some reason she needs to make it clear that she's married, She might just say Jane of Smith, or Mrs. of Smith, but people still know it's a married name because of the "De." I have noooo plans to ever change my last name. It's mine, get over it.

When I moved to the US my mom went through so much hell, at the bank and at the DMV they wouldn't let her use her own name! They were like "no you're married, that's not your name!" So on her driver's license they forced her to put my dad's name, but because she would always forget and sign things with her own name they wouldn't believe her when she tried to use her credit card. . . .

Argh. This issue infuriates me. I actually have serious reservations about getting married because I think I will become violent if someone calls me by my husband's name. Or I'll just offend them by saying something mean about women who do take their husband's name. I would never change my name--all my degrees, professional licenses, & publications are under my name. I've had this name for almost 30 years. I would never change it professionally. Or personally--I think the whole practice is sexist & I don't want people to think I'm some submissive wife. We're equal & we have our own names.

I also don't understand why it's such a big issue with kids. I mean, we have enough mixed families these days. is it really that big of a deal to have different last names?

When I got married, I took my husband's last name but wanted to keep my maiden name as a second middle name. The social security office was ok with it, but the DMV was not (like ladypenguin). I tried pointing out that there is nothing in our state statute that limits how you can change your name when you get married, but that was apparently more knowledge than the DMV clerk could handle. In the end I paid to have a judge sign a court order to get it the way I wanted it. At least there will be no confusion in the future.

I'm not sure on this one. I really like the flow of my name and since i am adopted my maiden name is really very important to me, not that my husbands name wouldn't be important but...you know....also my first name is silly and does not seem like it would go good with any other last name than the one i have now....when that day comes I will have to decided...change it...keep it.....or put a hyphen between my last name and include his too.......??? hmmmmmmmmmm

Here's one I didn't see addressed: A friend's fiancee wanted him to change his name to her last name. Not hyphenated; just totally eliminate it. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to do that...not to mention he was the only son, of an only son back 4 generations. Well, can't offer anything further as, for other reasons, the wedding never took place.

I think I'm somewhat old fashioned, I can't wait to get married and take my husbands name. I mean, even if I was established in a career with my maiden name, I'd still change it. I remember one of my teachers in HS got married and we had a hard time calling her her new last name for maybe a month, but eventually we got used to the new last name.

i really, really like my maiden name, so i don't have any plans to change my name but if i did i'd probably do what StephanieO does.

I'll always keep my maiden name ... it's such an important part of who I am!

im going to be a teacher, so if i get married in the middle of a school year, i would keep my maiden name so that i wouldnt confuse the kids... but then the following year i'd take my hubby's name...

I had a really hard time deciding whether I should change my name or not. I've been married 1.5 years and still haven't done it. The problem is I want to keep my maiden last name but if I keep it and add his last name then my initials are A.S.S. (and that's just no good). Also my husband wants me to either take his name and drop my maiden name or not take his name at all (he thinks having two lasts names is silly). So I decided to just not change it. I had this name for 30 years before we got married and am not interested to detaching myself from it.

I took my husbands last name and had no problem with it, i wanted to. It just took a while for me to get used to it and when people said Mrs. ---- i would always look around for his mom and then realize they were talking to me. But i am glad i changed it.

reena2, I wish more people considered that option. I would have asked my husband to do it (all he wanted was for us to have the same name) but my maiden name is sort of ugly and I didn't want our kids to have the same grief growing up that I did, so ... that kind of settled it. My preference would have been not to change at all, but it meant a lot to him, so I considered it a gift that only I could give him. A very big gift.

I know a couple in which he took her last name. Problem is, he's sort of a submissive type and she very much runs the show, so most people consider it kind of a joke. They're not the best poster children.

I hyphenated my last name, and so did my husband. So we're both First Name-Middle Name-Maiden Name-Husband Name. We got married just as we are establishing our careers, so that's how all my contacts know me. We have not discussed kids, but I think we might just give them his last name. People still screw up our last name (almost everything that isn't official or from our employers has us listed as Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Last Name); I have become used to it.

I'm engaged, and we've talked about this. I don't like having to change my last name because I'm the female of the relationship. Honestly, if my fiance was very adamant about me changing my last name to his, I would still refuse. Why do the females have to do it, why do I have to change because we're getting married? My fiance has said he would like it if I changed my last name to his, but I asked him if he would do the same. He says it's weird for him to do it, and I said the same back. I told him that either we both change our last names to a hyphenated combo, like biolabchick, or neither of us change our last names.

Caroline - my friend who is a teacher changed her name mid-year, and she teaches pre-K. I imagine that wasn't exactly the easiest change!

In the school district that I'm teaching in, my mom is really well-known so when I visit a school or interview, people know right away who I am because of our last name (it's fairly unique). I'll definitely be taking the last name of my husband when we get married, so I'm hoping to have a permanent position before then! I'm right there with Katie, where I can't wait for them to not call me "Mrs."

But my boyfriend's last name is fairly familiar, so all the kids will think I'm Oprah at the beginning of the school year. That could be good for a few laughs.

It was a little hard to give up my last name, but I want to share that with hubby, so I just took the plunge! I've got first, middle from birth, married. I totally dropped my maiden name.

I think one thing that needs to be considered before you even THINK about changing your last name is the fact that in some states, if you get divorced and want to go back to using your maiden name... YOU HAVE TO SUE TO GET THE RIGHT TO DO SO.

And for me, that sealed the deal. I don't need to be be "Mrs. Newman." God forbid, if we ever got divorced, I wouldn't want to have to sue for the right to use the name I was born with.

Also, if we ever had kids, they would have his last name. I don't need to have the same last name as my kid in order to know that they are mine.

I think changing the last name is silly. And antiquated.

I'm going to be doing First, Maiden as middle, Married as last for my personal stuff, keep my nickname and maiden as last for professional, and my given middle name will be our first daughter's name. This way, I can keep my hispanic maiden name, which I love, but I don't have to lose my middle name, which is a great one as well.

I'm no