No, everything about that scenario sets off alarm bells for me.

Heck no. I would be too scared to merge assets with a boyfriend. My hubby and I share everything and our names are joint on almost everything but a BF is too unstable for that, IMHO.

To me it depends on the level of commitment there is... in a previous post similar to this, someone commented that the term "boyfriend" can mean a lot of things. If this is someone who you plan to share your life with permanently, even if you never get married, then by all means get joint accounts and split things up the way you see fit. If it's just your current date and you are living together but not truly committed, then it's probably best to keep things separate.

No way! As much as I love my boyfriend, I wouldn't trust him with my own money.

...is my comment showing as blank to anyone else? too weird!

yeah, mochick, it must have been nommed by the server or something

Not no, but HELL NAW!

are you serious?! I saw this question at the bottom of the page, and I was like "that's not what they're asking! is it???".

I think that would be the most insane thing to do, right up there with popping a kid with a guy i'm not married to.

if you're one of those people who do not believe in marriage, then fine. do whatever you want. go willy nilly.

but i would NEVER do that.

what about the legalities of it???

if your hubby leaves you, there's a protocol.

but if your boyfriend dumps you (or you dump him), there isn't much to be done. a judge will look at you like "hEw hAw".

No way, I don't even share one with my husband. I like to know exactly how much money I have and what I'm spending. I can't go around worrying about what strange things my other half does with his money...I'd never sleep.

It's unnecessary. Is it really that hard to split bills without one? I've never had problems paying bills with separate accounts and more than one person's money involved.

No, I want my own name, my own money, my own room.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and for us, it's so much easier to have a joint checking account. We got too caught up in splitting everything evenly, and after three years we joined them. It works for us, but he's the only one I would ever trust with my money. I wouldn't have dreamed of combining money with any of my exes.

my "boyfriend" and i have been together for 5.5 years, so we've been talking about joining our bank accounts lately. honestly, the only reason why we aren't actually married yet is because of our lack of funds to throw the kind of wedding we want to have (and to have the kind of ring that HE wants to buy me, not that it matters to me, i could have an onion ring as an engagement ring). a couple of years ago, however, i wouldn't have even thought about it.

Absolutely not! Even if we're deeply in love and plan to get married, I'm not combining my money until there's a ring on my finger. It's not so much the act as the statement it makes. It sends a certain message to the guy that I don't wanna give to a guy that isn't my fiance/husband. Until then, I'd like to have sole access to my own money that I work very hard for.

I know couples who are in a long-distance relationship but they have a joint account which is their WEDDING FUND. So the girl, being abroad and earning more, remits more than the guy. Well, they finally got hitched but had troubles along the way.

It's funny with me and my boyfriend. We live together, been together for over 3 years, and we have a joint checking, a joint savings, 2 joint credit cards, but I also have my savings and my checking. We have a joint b/c I do all of the finances and it got difficult going to the bank all the time and having to transfer funds when trying to pay rent! Now it's easy breezy. But it's a major trust that you have to have. I would trust him with my life and all assets, and vice versa, so having a joint just makes sense for us.

OH, and we also have a joint stock account along with our individual roths...like i said it works for some people!

husband maybe - boyfriend no

I would agree on a joint account only to pay the rent and utilities. Other than that I would still have my own separate account.

We have three accounts.
One house account and our own individual accounts. We dump all our monies into the house account minus our allowance, which goes into our individual accounts. We pay bills out of the house account and buy whatever we want from our own personal accounts.
It has worked great for the last twelve years.

I agree with Asia. I am sorry but things happen. With your husband it is protcol; however, I have seen to many relationships end and the bf turns crazy (I believe they were always like this deep down). If your bf overdraws the account or screw it up - your responsible. It is just too many things that can come into plan, unless you have a legal contract with your boyfriend, just in case you break up that details what goes to who - I think Suze Orman calls this co-habitation contract.

I don't think I'd mind too much...my boyfriend and I live together (we were roommate first, then we sorta fell for each other...oops!) so we do have shared expenses like groceries...we each still pay for utilities and rent separately.
Another roommate has a joint checking account with his boyfriend, but it seems that it's pretty serious...they're buying a place together and everything, so they know what their future holds a lot more than other couples might.

Right now my boyfriend and I trade off on who pays for dining out and groceries. And I think we may not have the math exactly even on that, but I've come to terms with that instead of counting pennies.

No and I never will. As much as I love my bf, I don't trust him with money. I'm very frugal and he's the opposite. Even though I trust him not to spend my money just knowing his spending habits worry me.

My boyfriend and I are just moving in and deciding the same thing now. We have been together for 7 years, and while we know we are getting married, we have decided to hold off on that for a few years because my sister just tied the knot.
We decided to open a joint-checking account for our shared expenses (bills, groceries, etc.) so that we are both making sure to contribute our share, and will be able to pay the bills if the other is not around.
I think its fine, as long as you make sure that you are keeping track of what you put in, and that the money is used for what it is supposed to be used for... trust but verify.

not a chance. things happen.

I've been dating my boyfriend (now fiance) for five years, and I'd definitely get a joint checking account for rent and bills. The funny thing is, even when we get married, I don't think I'd ever completely combine our finances, or get more than a joint checking account for bills anyway! A cohabitation contract is an interesting idea though.

I don't share a checking account with my husband. I always know what my balance is. We each pay certain bills from our own checking accounts. We share a savings account, which we both contribute to when planning for major purchases (car, roof, etc.).

I wouldn't share my account. Can you imagine how ugly it would be when you broke up?

Nope

The only way I can even think of a yes for this would be if we were saving for our future together. Even though we'd probably be engaged, maybe we thought we were too young, or wanted to start saving money for the rings then start with the wedding and house savings!??! but ONLY for for-sure future expenses!!!!

DO NOT DO THIS! When my bf of almost 3 years joined the army he needed someone at home to pay his bills while he was in Basic Training. In order to do this we opened a joint checking account. We broke up after Basic Training (it makes me look bad I guess, but we weren't a good match, he was mean to me & talked down to me).

Anyways, after Basic he was shipped off somewhere else (in the US), and I couldn't take my name off the account. It had to be closed, and he had to open a new one, which opening a new one could ONLY be done in person. I begged him for months to take care of it. After 9 or 10 months he never did, and I didn't hassle him about it because #1 I still felt bad about breaking up with him, and #2 I just didn't want to communicate with him. THEN I find out he's been overdrawing. I'm like "HECK NO" I waited until the day he got paid and I withdrew all the money ($84 dollars. NO JOKE, on the day he got paid. I'm not kidding.) I mailed a check & a letter to his dad explaining my reasons. He called my parents house (I'd changed cell phone by then), REALLY pissed off because he couldn't buy anything. Oh well.

My husband and I didn't combine finances until after the wedding. I could see a couple opening a joint account for expenses if they lived together, but keeping their other money in individual accounts.

No.

Quite frankly... I would never join accounts with anyone. I've been married to my husband for four years now, and we do not have a joint account. Perhaps once we move to Toronto next year, and buy a house together, we will get a joint checking.

My husband is the most trustworthy person in the world. He would never do anything bad with my money... But we have different spending habits. I like to save a little and indulge a little. My husband liked to save everything. And he would be frustrated if he saw money leaving the account.

Until you are legally bound to someone (as in "married"), I would never recommend opening any kind of joint account. I also don't recommend buying property together.

I've seen quite a few girls in my time do both those things with their significant others... And 100% of the time, it has ended in disaster.

If you're grown up enough to open accounts and buy property together, then you're grown up enough to get married. End of discussion.

My brother and his gf have been together for 8 yrs and have a joint account, as well as their own accounts. They pretty much live as a married couple, so I guess it works for them.
I know that it's something I probably would never do. It can be pretty risky.

Simply, hell to the no.

Ive watched to many Judge Judy episodes to know that is a huge NO NO!
I dont even think Id get one with my husband. I honestly dont see the point.

Absolutely, yes.
If you have to split bills it makes things sooo much easier. And it's not like you have to put ALL your money in it. My bf and I both put in about $600 each month for rent, utilities, and sometimes groceries and eating out. After being with someone for years, he doesn't have to be the only one to shell out for dinner all the time.

Ok ladies this is a no brainer...it's not wise. Even if you are in a stable relationship and you guys talk about marriage every other day the joint account thing doesn't work until the ring is on your finger and the deal is done. Even then half the time it doesn't work if one or the other is irresponsible in money matters. As much as I love my BF I think it's wisest to keep things separate until the two become one so to speak. My mama always told me ain't no man guaranteed to you! You never know when you might find yourself on the single end once again. Then you have to goto the trouble of splitting things up and moving on to the next one. What are you going to do then get another account and start the cycle all over?

definitely not ready for a joint account with him even though marriage is down the line. i personally believe and like to have my own financial independence. maybe eventually we'll have some sort of joint account but ideally first and foremost i want to make sure that i am taken care of. selfish maybe but you never really know right? always important to take care of you!

My boy and I have been together 4.5 years and as much as I trust him, I would NOT do this!..I like things like that to be seperate, I am too independent to share anything like that even if he is the one with more assets than me

My boy and I have been together 4.5 years and as much as I trust him, I would NOT do this!..I like things like that to be seperate, I am too independent to share anything like that even if he is the one with more assets than me

Oh HELL NO!!! I only very reluctantly put my husband's name on my bank account (and mine on his; we still have separate accounts) when, to our dismay, we were not allowed to deposit those infuriatingly cutesy "Mr. and Mrs. ___" until both names on the check also appeared on the checking account. There is NO WAY I would ever open up my assets like that to someone I was not married to.

wow I am blown away by some of the responses.
Really? You wouldn't have a joint bank account with your partner of 5 YEARS??? What does that say about your relationship; about how you feel towards him? I dunno......I would REALLY have to trust someone to do the joint thing, but if after 4 years I don't fully trust him by now.....well.....????
I'm not saying BOTH of you put all of your money in there(you Ave to have your won independant account!) but for bills and such, can be super convenient.

correction:
You HAVE to have your OWN bank account

I fully trust my partner but not everyone feels a need to share their accounts purely for the reason that they dont feel like it. its not always about a matter of trust like some people are making it out to be. My relationship should not be diminished by ANY Means just because i like my independence and like things seperate.

That's just not a no. That's a H*LL no! Unless there is a ring on my finger I'm not sharing any account with a b/f.

No way!! The only way I would maybe get a joint checking account is if I was married to the guy, and even then, that is still a MAYBE.

"To me it depends on the level of commitment there is... in a previous post similar to this, someone commented that the term "boyfriend" can mean a lot of things."

That was me! Guy you've been dating six months? No. Guy you've lived with for three years? Kind of seems like a no-brainer.

"what about the legalities of it??? if your hubby leaves you, there's a protocol. but if your boyfriend dumps you (or you dump him), there isn't much to be done. a judge will look at you like "hEw hAw""

Unless you have a living together agreement, as mentioned above. I'd like to point out that this kind of agreement is as much about how you will handle finaces while you're together as it is about what would happen if you split up. There's a link to a good template at unmarried.org.

I'm really surprised by all the "Oh, hell naw!" comments and all the talk of rings. Like rings automatically protect you from shadiness. Then again, I think what makes a joint account work for my relationship is two things: one, though unmarried, we're committed life partners. Two, we have very similar spending habits, and we live well within our means. I never look at our credit card statement and say, "What the heck did you spend $50 on at Target!?" because we easily have that $50 to spare. I think it would be much, much tougher if you need to stick to a stricter budget. (Not saying we are wealthy, just that our lifestyle leaves us with leftover cash most of the time.)

"If you're grown up enough to open accounts and buy property together, then you're grown up enough to get married. End of discussion."

Not this comment alone, but this general attitude that marriage is the ultimate goal of any relationship irks me. One, marriage is a fading institution that is quickly becoming more of a charmingly quaint tradition than any kind of real change in the status of a relationship. Two, there are ways to protect yourself legally without getting married.

My ex and I had a joint bank account, and it only helped add to his abuse. When I didn't have a job, if I spent money on ANYTHING, he'd say I didn't have a job and didn't have the right to spend his money (then why put my name on the account at all!?). When I did have a job, he'd say, "you don't make that much money."

Turns out, after I finally got rid of him, I can take care of all my bills just fine with "not that much money." What a dick.

So yeah, I'd never, ever, EVER do that again. Abusive relationship or not, it's just another reason to have leverage over the other person.

My boyfriend and I each have our own accounts and like it that way. If he needs money, I have no problem writing him a check, and vise-versa. We're very easy-going with money, and it's so much less relationship stress to take care of your own stuff! As far as our joint bills go, we don't keep track of who pays what - one month I'll pay cable and he'll pay electric, and the next month we'll switch 'em up. It really depends on how much money each of us has in the bank at the time! But we never let money get between us.

I understand the position of a lot of the ladies here...and before I was with my boyfriend, I never would have done it. But the thing is, I trust him, I'm in law school and on financial aid, and he really financially supports me. We live in separate cities, and he pays for almost everything anyway because we can't live together while I'm in law school because there are no jobs in the podunk town where my top law school is located. But before I came to law school, we basically were like a married couple in actions and intent. And I was working and we split most things 50/50.

I guess the main thing is that what works for some doesn't work for all. And we both have separate checking and savings, and the one joint checking. And both our paychecks would go to our separate accounts and we transfer them to the joint to maintain control and accountability. Not all bad. But I get the "hell no" sentiment...