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Would You Want a Stay-at-Home-Husband?

Fri, 06/13/2008 - 6:59am by SavvySugar
705 Views - 36 comments

Father's Day on the horizon has prompted a lot of interesting discussion about modern fathers and their struggle to achieve a work-life balance. Working moms and dads have to work together to create a schedule that juggles all the aspects of their lives, and it's a more delicate balance than if one parent is able to stay at home.

Two incomes are necessary for many couples to build the kind of lives they imagine, and especially if kids are involved. Instead of women wondering how they can have it all, more and more couples are taking on that predicament together.

If you had the income to support a family, how would you feel about having a stay-at-home-husband?

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36 Comments Add a Comment

  • gab6784's picture
    gab6784
    2

    Well I would rather be the stay at home parent Sticking out tongue but if I was making more money and could afford to take care of my family comfortably then HECK YEAH I'd let my husband stay home with the kids...why not? Who better to watch them than their dad Smiling The only thing is he'd have to learn how to cook cause my husband only knows how to make eggs LOL

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • darkangel2305's picture
    darkangel2305
    3

    I would love it, if my bf would be a better organized person. Him at home full time and the house would be gross and he would probably forget to feed the children.... Eye-wink

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    4

    I'm with gab6784. I would love to stay home with our (future) kids, but for various reasons, I have a significantly higher earning potential than my husband -- so if one parent were to stay home and us stay afloat financially, it would be my husband -- and that would be just fine Smiling

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • simplyfab87's picture
    simplyfab87
    5

    Would love to have a stay at home husband also. I'll definitely make more than my bf after college. So financially its better and plus I'm pretty sure he wants to stay at home.

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • JenDeck711's picture
    JenDeck711
    6

    Ideally, we would both work from home and be with the kids. Getting there!

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • cancankant's picture
    cancankant
    7

    If my husband were staying home, he would have to be self employed or working from home. If we had kids, it would be a different story. Then I think the person who could garner the most income would work, the other person might work part time, work from home or just stay at home IF we could afford it. I don't have a problem with it, but I honestly don't think many men would have the fortitude to stay at home AND keep the place presentable while taking care of the kids. Many women don't, either. I think it's too easy to turn lazy when you're staying home. If you're keeping yourself occupied and can afford it, I think it's a logical choice for many households. Childcare is horribly expensive.

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    8

    My bf has often talked about how (once he is successful and has time and money to spare) he would LOVE to be a stay at home dad!
    I really could care less as long as one of us got to be a stay at home parent Smiling

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • bingkaycoy's picture
    bingkaycoy
    11

    No for me. I'd rather have my husband brings the dough while I manage and raise my family. If that is an option for us, he'd rather stay at home because of a stay-at -home job or biz.

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • gabiushka's picture
    gabiushka
    12

    Well, my mom was the big income maker and my dad not so much so he would cook and take us to school and stuff. It does NOT work; I think it hurts the mans ego and puts a lot of stress on the mother.Besides, as a kid I just missed my mom horribly when she left to work, maybe more than I missed my dad, just the age I guess. My parents still are together but their relation is hell, they seem very unhappy to me, and it has a lot to do with money. So maybe it would work for a more 'progressive' couple, but I think it wouldn't for the majority of us.

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Renees3's picture
    Renees3
    13

    I currently work from home, so I can't imagine both of us being home! We'd probably go crazy. I like working from home, I can't imagine going back, so when we have kids, I'll probably be the one at home.

    29 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • fashionhore's picture
    fashionhore
    14

    I would love to my have a SaHD, but I am not sure he would like it so much. He one of those guys who likes to get out of the house even if he is working his arse off, and I think he would go stir-crazy at home, even with kids!

    I wouldn't mind being a SaHM if I had enough network to be able to freelance while I was with the kids or household. Not doing something work-wise for myself would drive me insane.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • soulight's picture
    soulight
    15

    My boyfriend and I have talked about it and he's very traditional so even if I were making a million dollars a year I don't think he would be comfortable staying home. I personally wouldn't mind, but I can see where I would become resentful if I still had to do household duties.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • jJuliet's picture
    jJuliet
    16

    I definitely respect stay-at-home parents, but I could neither be one nor marry one. I am an ambitious, academically-oriented person, and I need to be with someone who has these qualities as well.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • SillyGirl's picture
    SillyGirl
    17

    I wouldnt mind it if thats the way it ended up after we have kids. But I have a feeling i would still end up doing a lot of the traditional "housewife" duties, because i am a typical organized woman. Like the errands, and putting things away properly and figuring out the little details of what we need at the house. So I am afraid that he would stay home, and yet I would still do a lot of the work when I got home from work Smiling to be fair, he is a great cleaner and cook though so i wouldnt have to do everything.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • faerymagick15's picture
    faerymagick15
    18

    well, I do have the income to support us, but not in the way we have become accustomed. It would definitely be a sacrifice. When my husband was laid off twice and home looking for work I enjoyed the first couple of months of being able to spend time together but after that I got tired of seeing him 24/7 and we started fighting. I don't know what I will do when he retires!!! He will HAVE TO take up a few hobbies!

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • zabrow's picture
    zabrow
    19

    i would love to have a stay at home husband. when i was younger, there was a time that my dad was starting up his business & he stayed at home for maybe six months or a year & i loooved having him home. he always bought better groceries than my mom did (more junk food) & had the house cleaned & dinner cooked by the time my mom got home. she stayed home for a while as well, which i also really liked. i think it would work out & be really beneficial for the family as long as the person staying home kept up their end of the workload.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • bellaressa's picture
    bellaressa
    20

    My VP's husband stays home with their one year old. When we go to long conferences (more than 3 days) he and the baby comes along. It's seems all good. He is well rounded and he can really cook - since he's been home he turned into a chef. They seem to have a good realtionship, I am not sure that works for everyone.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Squeaks26's picture
    Squeaks26
    21

    I really don't believe in stay at home parents. Maybe if you had so many kids you couldn't afford daycare, or maybe only for the first two years and then back to work. I think eventually resentment comes into play and it doesn't work out.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • bransugar79's picture
    bransugar79
    22

    I wish I could be ok with the stay at home husband thing but I coudln't do it. I guess I'm just so old fashioned that if someone is going to stay home it's going to be me. i do think it could have an effect on the guys ego and if we have children I want to be the one at hoem with them. I know it's old fashioned but I can't help it

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Nyrina Windu's picture
    Nyrina Windu
    23

    I don't think I would mind a stay at home husband. But there is a way he could work while he's there. There are many home base jobs for men. Women take care of the children and run home businesses all the time. So in that kind of case I don't see a problem with it.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    24

    No, not for me. I think I'm more traditional in this sense.

    However, if it works for other couples, good for them.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Xandara's picture
    Xandara
    25

    After getting settled in a full-time job in my career field, I convinced my boyfriend to quit his crappy no-room-for-improvement job and stay at home while looking for a new job that is actually worth leaving the house for. ;P And I'll tell you what... I LOVE it. I wish he could have babies, too, hahaha Kiss Considering his career path is in the restaurant field, he's a damn good cook, so I feel like I'm reaping all the benefits - I have a job I love, AND a boyfriend who's taking care of the house AND me! Woohoo! Laughing out loud

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    26

    I don't think it's any different from a stay at home Mom. If I had a great job I'd definitely want my hubby to stay home if he wanted to.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • insanitypepper's picture
    insanitypepper
    27

    I already have a stay at home husband, but no kids. He gets to stay up late and sleep late. He's always here. That drives me nuts. But he does most of the cooking & housework, which is nice.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • snowbunny11's picture
    snowbunny11
    28

    I babysat for a stay at home dad family and it was great! My fiance's career is in academia, while mine will be as an attorney, so I think he will have more flexibility when it comes to working from home. I don't think I can picture either of us actually totally giving up working, but it would be great if we could figure out a way to split up the responsibilities. Wouldn't it be great if you could both completely arrange your schedules to have one person home for a half day every day and the kids in childcare the other half odf the day. Haha I'm daydreaming and I don't even know if I want kids!

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • snowbunny11's picture
    snowbunny11
    29

    Oh by the way I just read the article and want to say that the stay-at-home dad I babysat for was working on his MA and I babysat during his classes and a few hours while he was at the library. I think getting another degree, like an MBA, or an MA, is a really fantastic idea for stay at home parents. It gave him time out of the house, improved his resume and still only meant he was gone for 9 hours a week. He got most of his work done when his kids were napping, or on the weekend when his wife would help out.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • freegracefrom's picture
    freegracefrom
    30

    It would make my S.O. very happy if he could be a stay-at-home! I don't think I could be a stay-at-home myself - I'd be constantly stir-crazy. Even if I didn't work, I'd have to do volunteer work or something! As for him? I wouldn't mind if he were a stay-at-home husband if we won the lottery or if I somehow had a job that I loved AND a job with an enormous salary. As neither scenario is very likely, he's going to have to work. Sorry. Smiling

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    31

    I know several families where this is the case, my brother being one of them, and it's working out incredibly well for them. It's a very personal thing and wouldn't be for everyone. In the families I know, everyone's really happy and comfortable with that scenario.

    29 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Sun_Sun's picture
    Sun_Sun
    32

    i agree that it def works for some families.
    but knowing my husband and i, it just wouldnt work for us. we're traditional that way.

    29 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • kcwebgirl's picture
    kcwebgirl
    33

    i know gender role assignment says that husbands are supposed to bring home the bacon and wives are supposed to fry it in the pan but life isn't black and white like that. sometimes the husband is the better nurturer and sometimes the wife has some kickass skills that earn a lot of money. if one parent can stay home, regardless of which it is, the better off the kids will be. i volunteer to stay home and do freelance on the side. but i would be fine if my husband was the one who did. are we really that hung up on things?

    29 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • j2e1n9's picture
    j2e1n9
    35

    I said yes, b/c I want at least one of us and it doesnt matter who, to stay home and take care of business.

    29 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • UncleDuke316's picture
    UncleDuke316
    36

    The unBELIEVABVLE feminist IGNORANCE of this CRAP. WOMEN as has been stated in many articles make MORE then men doing the SAME job. THEY get HIRED FIRST and affirmative action GAURANTEES them job security that men, ESPECIALLY WHITE MEN are losing more than any other group.
    We always place a value on the work WOMEN do at home even when they don't have kids. NO ONE GIVES A CRAP about how MEN are reduced to glorified houseboys and atm machines when they get married. WE do it and we're STUPID enough to take it because that's how society has conditioned men. In one way or the other WOMEN WANT THEIR DADDIES. W
    The big jock and the big wallet tailor made to suit their every need? Willing to let the woemn take complete control of their lives and even taking over the house WE are expected to work and pay for that THEY get to take in divorce even when the men DON'T cheat. Ladies: this is the twenty first century. It's about HIGH TIME YOU did your share and stopped holding this crap of finacial expectation over men. YOU are the ones who WANT the kids. We do NOT have to have kids. With the current rise in population we need to STOP reproducing for at least one generation.We need to start b*tchslapping relatives who pressure their kids to have grandkids. WOMEN are working and financially secure, she's in love with a man who makes her happy, he takes care of everything else SO WHAT???DAMN this feminist ignorance makes me SICK. YEah they all want the daddy with the paycheck to marry
    GUYS: If a woman is not willing to do everything for you that you're supposed to do for her and that INCLUDES being willing to SUPPORT YOU do NOT get married. Stick with strip clubs, hooters and vegas.Women have the power, they have the money. It's time they stopped holding men to this financial criteria.

    24 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment

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