That's a good point about couples knowing how much the gift was - I feel pressure to spend enough, but I also like getting them something that will be useful for their new home!

I prefer to pick out something that I know they'd like, but haven't necessarily registered for.

speaking from personal experience, i don't think the married couple pays attention to the price tag on the gifts they receive, even when they set up the registry with an eye towards all budgets. I was excited to receive a full set of china and flatware, but didn't spend time counting who gave me 2 plates and who forked over for a full place setting for 6... for me the benefits definitely outweigh the possible negatives

I love using the gift registery because the couple will enjoy and utilize the item(s).

I tended to buy non-registry gifts until I got married! Now I totally understand why it can be especially thoughtful to buy a registry gift --- we wouldn't have enough matching plates or flatware, for example, if 95% of people hadn't bought gifts off of our registries.

I think it's really to sort out quantity. This is why i use amazon's wish list, so I don't end up with two of something. When you hand a list out to people, if everyone buys you the sheet set - well that is pretty useless. So i like that the registry tells you who bought what and what is left, etc.

i had the pleasure of working in the housewares department of a major department store. PLEASE buy off the registry! i took back so many returns of random stuff that the couple didn't register for. if you don't want to go off the registry, either get a gift card, or something YOU KNOW the couple will use. nothing engraved, cuz then they're stuck with that, and NO PICTURE FRAMES!!! it seems like people who don't go off the registry always buy frames. i don't get it.

gift registries are helpful to get ideas from, but I like to personalize my gift - something that will remind them everytime they see it of their wedding or our friendship.

Gift registries for weddings I can understand, even though I don't think I'll want one myself, but I went to a party recently for a woman who had a BIRTHDAY GIFT registry. It was more like a list. And it included a Hermes scarf and Sisley makeup (which I was responsible for). WTF?!!?!

a birthday registry????? That's crazy!
I've never even thought about worrying that the bride and groom will know how much I spent. A gift is just that, A GIFT. I went and bought them something they wanted to congratulate them on their big day. None of my friend or family would ever worry about who spent what.

i have mixed feelings. buying from the registry is great for the reason stated, but sometimes I would like to buy something special "off registry." I'll do so only if i am certain the couple will like it.

I think it makes things easier if people have a registry. I did not find this out until after my wedding though and had to go to a bunch of weddings.

Do people really care about how much was spent on the item!?

Wedding registries are a great and practical way for new couple to receive what they want instead of a crapload of random things. About being uncomfortable about the bride and groom seeing how much you spent??...get over it you cheap bastards!

I tend not to buy things from regsitry's because my friends know I pick out amazing gifts and I have found that a lot of people register because they feel like they have to.

I actually had a green shower for my wedding.

The only two options I exercise when buying wedding gifts are registry/wishlist or cash. With the first option, I'm sure that I'm not gifting them with clutter. With the second option, I can help defray the insane costs that seem to creep in when planning a wedding or honeymoon. I understand wanting to get them something that reminds them of you, but I just don't think that giving someone a gift is about you; it should be about them. Also, I like gifts that continue to be useful (registering for something is a good indicator of that) or that give an experience (like a massage or dinner for two or something) rather than an item they don't use but feel guilty about giving away.

I stick to the registry if I buy it in store and can hand deliver the gift. Otherwise, I get a gift card for the couple... the shipping charges can add up and I would rather the couple have the money I spend on shipment than give it to the postal gods! Not as fun but better for the couple's pocketbook!

I always like to give cash as wedding gifts. You can't hide what you spend, but I feel like every new couple should get some decent bucks as gifts to buy whatever they didn't receive.

CASH. help them with saving for a house, debt, car, baby, whatever. I think its more useful then what you are pressured to register for.

Sometimes, it can seem a bit impersonal, since there was no room for your own thought put into purchasing a gift especially if a really dear friend(s) are getting married. But, I guess, at the end of the day, if its something they love and you get to see them using it every time you visit, that works too!

I love registries. Takes the thinking and stress out of buying a gift.
I like the idea of a Birthday registry. It sure would have helped when I was receiving duplicate pieces of clothes, or a heinous outfit from some family friend who didn't give much thought to the fact that every auntie and uncle was giving me some outfit I was never going to wear. [I mean really, how many occasions can one find to wear a salwar or a sari outside of Asia]. I ended up re-gifting half the stuff I ever got for my birthday to less fortunate cousins in Bangladesh. Great for them, sucked for me.

I think registeries are great. And most couples who make them know that their guests finances vary and I think they add items to the list accordingly. So no need imo to get upset that the couple will know how much you spent on an item.

I am STILL trying to return random gifts from my wedding. Registries or cash are the way to go.

I think wedding registries are helpful when you don't really know a couple that well. I think it's perfectly acceptable for close friends and family to go off the registry and buy a gift with a little more meaning.

I usually buy one or two things from a registry and then pick out one special thing just from me that I think the couple will really like that is not on any registry.

Personally, I Think it's just plain rude not to buy off the registry unless you are giving cash/check. A couple has taken the time to register (and it does take time), has picked out what they want and need (oh, but you'd like to substitute your taste for theirs? how thoughtful...), and I think everyone understands that people have different budgets, that's why most people put differently priced items on the list (and I was happy to get each one, and never thought "oh they only spent $__)-- and, if a couple obnoxiously puts only way high end items in the registry, give them cah or a gift card...
Oh, and all this only applies to wedding registries...birthday registries!!??? you have got to be kidding me!

While I definitely consult registries (if available) for all wedding gifts, I will purchase off them for people I do not know well. If I do know the couple well I will often purchase something that I know they will like (e.g. something that they have mentioned they like) it adds an element of surprise or combine something with a registry item. The one thing I do not like about online registries is that the couple 'knows' what they are going to receive. (I also once bought a wedding gift around Christmas and had several items (including lingerie) rung up all at once - that couple had access to all the items rung up at that time. I received several items that I did not register for - yet *absolutely* love and the item never fails to remind me of the person whom I received it from.

My husband and I disagreed on this topic until we got married ourselves - now I totally agree with him that buying from the registry list is key. So many of his parents' friends who barely know me, are of course 30 years older and live 3000 miles away gave us random stuff that I just got frustrated. I think the main point is to only give something not on the registry if you are very close to the couple.

My mom gives silver napkin rings engraved with the couple's initials (after verifying what they are/will be) because it's a family tradition for us. I would have preferred something like this over a silver ice bucket or hideous vases I will never use.

My friends would be really bummed if I bought from their registies I am known for the great gifts I pick out for people. I really put a lot of thought into them. If is someone I do not know well and I hate everything on their registry they get cash.

Buying of the registry is great for someone you don't really know well. For a best friend or close sibling I suggest buying a small registry item and buying a larger more personal item from the heart. It shows that you care.

Now that I am engaged I will only buy off the registry. We have recieved 3 knive blocks. We had already opened one off our registry since it came first. We now have 2 knive blocks and have no idea where they are from. We'll probably try to regift for future weddings since we have no need for 3 sets and we can't return them.

I prefer to buy gifts from the registry because I know that's what the couple truly wants. If I do stray from the registry, I make sure to do something original and nothing that could potentially duplicate any gift that is on the registry.

Crystalvillage06, that's exactly what happened to me...I've found that people sometimes try to find an item you registered for a better price at another store, and then they buy it from that other store, not thinking/realizing that someone will probably buy the same one that you registered for, and then you have duplicates.

I am always conscious of this and make sure it doesn't happen when I'm the gift-giver.

LOVE the registry idea. As someone mentioned above, I used to buy non-reg gifts, but knowing what went into our registry (ie., cookery stuff we'd never buy ourselves, but really needed rather than "making do"), I've changed my tune. My mother, however, is bucking the idea of the registry - as I did at first. I didn't feel comfortable asking guests to buy specific things; luckily my fiance got me past that, but it's still an uncomfortable zone for my mom!

Before I got married, I gave one gift from a registry, and one small thing that was not on there (with the gift receipt of course). Now, I just give money so the couple can shop together afterwards, or save it for their future.

We are doing it the Asian way, CASH!

My fiance already has a fully furnished house so we don't need anything for the home. Where I come from, the custom is to give the couple cash in a red packet. Very practical and definitely more useful since the couple can decide how they want to spend it whether it is defraying wedding costs, setting up their new house, honeymoon or saving up.

I never had the opportunity to buy from a registry. I would love for people to set up registries for all gift-giving occasions so I don't have to pull my hair out trying to figure out what to get. Why should weddings and baby showers be the only things people are "allowed" to have registries for, anyway? How about house warming registries, and yeah, birthday registries. I'm not a mind reader and I don't aspire to be one. As long as there wouldn't be some kind of major meltdown on the giftee's part if people buy stuff that aren't on the registry, what's the problem?

Hmm... maybe it would be great if you could set up registries that aren't tied to a particular store. Maybe a website for registries that lets people log in and call dibs on buying certain things. It could even have links to price comparisons, like bizrate but with a registries function. Wonder if something like that exists already. If it doesn't, someone can potentially get rich off setting something like that up.

Yes - seriously, a BIRTHDAY registry. I don't know about you, but when I invite people to my birthday dinner or party, I do NOT expect gifts and am almost embarrassed if I've picked a fairly pricey place to dine. If someone comes with a gift, that is a bonus, but honestly surprises me. But this woman had a 60th birthday bash, rented out the cafe of a well-known museum in London and actually mailed a list to all the guests of the gifts she wanted. I felt like I was paying an entry fee! Perhaps I would have minded less if the gifts were like a) a charitable donation to the charity of her choice or b) a box of macaroons, wine, whatever but everything on her list was over £100 per item! I *do* think wedding registries are appropriate as (most) guests will tend to bring gifts no matter what you say, so especially for a young couple just starting out or a couple moving into a new home together, they are useful. JUST SAY NO TO BIRTHDAY REGISTRIES lol!

I definitely love these things!! I'd feel absolutely terrible if my taste was far different from the married couples' and they had to go through the hassle of returning it, etc. I never even thought of them knowing how much I spent on them, I just buy the cutest things on the registry ha.

it's tradition, and they chose these items because that's what they want!

I don't think most brides would judge how much a gift cost...at least I hope not! I am getting married in 6 weeks and registered at Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn & Target! We made sure that there gifts in ALL price ranges so no one would feel pressure to overspend...I literally have tealight holders on there for 99 cents...its the thought that counts, right?

I'm terrible at getting gifts for people...