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What Is the Most Disposable Wedding Expense?

Wed, 05/21/2008 - 11:26am by SavvySugar
8,702 Views - 85 comments

Everyone has their opinion about which aspects of a wedding are budget-worthy and which can be skipped altogether. Of course I have my own opinions, but I'm more interested in learning what you think a wedding can do without most. Common details I've heard brides ditch because they thought their funds would be better spent elsewhere are wedding favors, a formal wedding cake, and cocktail hour hors d'orderves.

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85 Comments Add a Comment

  • mini_pixie's picture
    mini_pixie
    1

    Wedding favors as I've seen them discussed on Sugar are totally unnecessary- we did little net bags of M&M's and that was enough. Of course we also skipped the cocktail hour in favor of a buffet, but our wedding was afternoon and not evening. Time of event makes a big difference in terms of expense, I think.

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    4

    wedding ceremony programs, IMO.

    I loved our favors, but not sure everyone else thought they were as cute as I did! (we're pretty nature-y, so we gave terra cotta flower pots with soil and flower seeds inside the pot, w/saucer on top and tied with a cute ribbon in wedding colors)

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    5

    also I have loved some favors I have gotten at other weddings (insanely good cookies), and pitched others soon after (who wants a personalized champagne flute with someone else's name and wedding date on it? when would you use that?)

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • j2e1n9's picture
    j2e1n9
    6

    Never been to a wedding so I have no clue. Going to my first one in June so I'll assess the goods then

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • sparkle9152's picture
    sparkle9152
    7

    I was going to do the whole "green" thing and give people seeds to grow flowers. But then I looked at the price -- over $300 for something that people are going to throw away on the way out. I'd rather save my money!

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • mondaymoos's picture
    mondaymoos
    8

    DJs! Who needs a DJ when you can make a wedding playlist on your ipod?

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • cubadog's picture
    cubadog
    9

    Everyone will probably laugh but I think the cake is a total waste. I have been to a lot of weddings and I never eat the cake. My friend had a black tie wedding with a sit down dinner and the bride decided that instead of doing the cake thing they had ice cream sundae's served to us by the wait staff after dinner. Everyone loved it and nobody even missed the cake more than likely because we were all drunk.

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • Shopaholichunny's picture
    Shopaholichunny
    11

    So true cubadog. I barely eat the cake at the weddings that I have been to. We're all drunk or busy on the dancefloor to even care!

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • daydreamer's picture
    daydreamer
    12

    My fiancee and I are planning to make a donation to our favorite charity instead of giving favors. We'll spend less than we would have had to on favors, feel better about it, and no one will miss the favor.

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • luvs2gossip's picture
    luvs2gossip
    13

    Hors d'orderves aren't necessary — dinner is enough! My thoughts exactly!

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • jfellows1631's picture
    jfellows1631
    15

    Cake! i'm so irritated at how much wedding cake costs....and no one eats it....and the hotel pretty much controls where we get it by charging a "cake cutting" fee if we don't buy from one of their recommended vendors! UGH!

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    16

    for whatever it's worth, sparkle, I don't think our guests threw away the favors (maybe b/c it would be a lot easier to throw away a package of seeds than a whole clay flowerpot) -- in fact months later people were e-mailing and telling me how their flowers were growing

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • pvellozzi82's picture
    pvellozzi82
    17

    fancy seating placements, just stick to the free cards given by the resturuant

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • syako's picture
    syako
    18

    OMG my cake was the best tasting thing I've ever had AND my guests still talk about it (a year and a half later)

    I think unnecessary things are favors, crazy flower arrangements, I second the DJ/band - just make a playlist - and finally a formal sit down dinner (those aren't the norm where I live, we just have buffet style)

    14 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • carhornsinapril's picture
    carhornsinapril
    19

    my vote goes to wedding favors (sometimes nice, sometimes ridiculous) and ceremony programs.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • TidalWave's picture
    TidalWave
    20

    what are wedding favors? i've never been to a wedding with them.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • badhabit's picture
    badhabit
    21

    We actually gave our wedding cake as the favors. We had a dessert buffet so we knew nobody would really need or want to eat cake as well, but we still wanted to have a traditional cake. So we got cute little cake boxes with our names that said something like "sweet dreams" and had the caterers put them out by the exit for people to take. It worked out because our cake didn't go to waste, AND we got to take a bunch of boxes home and ate cake for dessert every night for about a month.

    Also I would say you can save a lot on the flowers. All flowers are pretty and a small flower budget can really be stretched a long way. Just get a creative florist.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • nslods's picture
    nslods
    22

    Hmmmm...let's see....unnecessary costs, IMO, would include the cake, extravagant favors, tons of flowers (especially in centerpieces), ceremony programs, and the latest one I've noticed, personalized monograms that shine onto the dance floor or wall.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • AliCherri1's picture
    AliCherri1
    23

    lawchick - I LOVE your idea of the pot w/ seeds!
    We were thinking of making our own BBQ sauce and putting it in jars w/ our own labels on them... I went to a wedding a few years ago that did it w/ jam and I love it.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • AliCherri1's picture
    AliCherri1
    24

    lawchick - I LOVE your idea of the pot w/ seeds!
    We were thinking of making our own BBQ sauce and putting it in jars w/ our own labels on them... I went to a wedding a few years ago that did it w/ jam and I love it.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    26

    Thanks Ali! They took a long time to put together but ended up cute. Homemade BBQ sauce sounds sooooo good. I would love to get that as a favor.

    14 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • hippiecowgirl's picture
    hippiecowgirl
    27

    Favors for sure. Lots of guests leave them behind. I say if you're going to do something, make it edible.

    14 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • bengalspice's picture
    bengalspice
    28

    Every wedding I've gone to, people have gone nuts for the cocktail hour and the cake. No one really cares about the favors. Most people just run off with the centerpiece if it's not nailed and glued down.

    14 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • jessy777's picture
    jessy777
    29

    I think if you get down to it all of a wedding is expendable except the fees to get a liscense and to have someone marry you. It won't stop me from having my own kind of lavish wedding (if I change my mind and decide to ever get married) but I won't be blowing any budgets to get it done.

    14 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • lizzylu49's picture
    lizzylu49
    31

    I agree with runningesq. I'd forgo any favors that aren't edible.

    The other place that I would save would be on the photographs. It makes sense to hire a professional, but there are plenty of people who pay 5, 6...10 thousand dollars for the best in the business. If I was looking to save money, I'd definitely save more here.

    14 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • shanimalcracker's picture
    shanimalcracker
    32

    I think wedding favors are cute, but the likelihood of your guests really cherishing them really isn't very high.

    14 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • TsuKata's picture
    TsuKata
    33

    I skipped wedding favors. I have trashed or re-gifted most of the favors I've gotten over the years, and thus I couldn't stomach creating clutter for my friends and family.

    I seem to find most often that wedding favors are cooler to the couple than they are to the guests. For example, one couple gave everyone a little sailboat charm with a note attached explaining that they met on a friend's sailboat. That had to have been at least 1K of their budget. It meant nothing to me, though. It was cute. Lots of people went "awww...", but I can't imagine anyone took it home and said, "Now this is just what I've been looking for to complete my nautical jewelry closet." So then, we all take it home, feel guilty for throwing it away due to the sentiment imposed on it, and go about our lives.

    14 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • cubadog's picture
    cubadog
    34

    I do not like favors edible or not I think they are stupid. I would much rather give the money to a charity or invest into another part of the wedding like my ice cream sundae's.

    14 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • jopperma's picture
    jopperma
    35

    Who doesn't eat the cake!?! I love the cake part of weddings... Because I love cake! That being said, a good way to save $ on that part it to get a pretty, small wedding cake and then get regular sheet cakes for the guests (they are also easier to cut and many places charge up to $2 a slice to cut cake, so you could get a cousin to cut the cake to save money there too.)

    Real flower centerpieces for all the guest tables are crazy expensive and unnecessary. Hors d'orderves are more expensive but are really nice for your guests when you are taking pictures in between the ceremony and reception if they are going to have to wait a while for dinner. I think favors are nice if you can afford them, as long as it is something edible or useful, but I would cut them before cake or hors d'orderves if I had to.

    14 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • Jillz1128's picture
    Jillz1128
    36

    I always eat the cake at weddings.....I'm not sure who doesn't really

    14 weeks 10 hours ago Report Comment
  • julieulie's picture
    julieulie
    37

    I think cakes can easily BECOME the most disposable wedding expense. I'm not saying to sack the cake altogether, but people often sacrifice taste (and thousands of dollars) to get super extravagant, over-the-top fondant masterpieces. If you have the money to blow, then sure you'll get great pictures, but if you're trying to cut cost, then who cares? We're having a simple buttercream frosting with some ribbon decoration for an inexpensive cake, and then putting the money we are saving towards a viennese table of lots of different desserts and a chocolate fountain -- which will be much more popular than a super decorated cake.

    14 weeks 9 hours ago Report Comment
  • hyzenthlay20's picture
    hyzenthlay20
    38

    Some close friends are getting married this weekend and they are doing pint glasses for the favors. The bride designed a little logo that has a Joshua tree and "2008" on it and it's going to be etched onto the glass. I am excited for these favors, since they won't be blatantly "wedding favors" and I like pint glasses anyway! It's a weekend wedding and everyone is going to use the glasses all weekend (sharing and washing them and all) and then make sure they just take one home with them at the end of the weekend.

    14 weeks 7 hours ago Report Comment
  • arkiepeach's picture
    arkiepeach
    39

    calligraphy on the invites is way expensive and unnecessary, esp. if you have beautiful handwriting.

    14 weeks 7 hours ago Report Comment
  • choppa888's picture
    choppa888
    40

    I really have to disagree with some of you regarding favors. I think this is the only thing that your guests actually get to take with them to remember your wedding by. It's your way of thanking them. I personally think it's a little selfish to give up something that you were going to give your guests instead of something that is just for yourself or pure looks....I'd say have a wedding within your budget...if all you can afford is a park wedding, then do that. Prioritize your own needs, but don't take away from your guests. They are traveling, buying you gifts, sharing this joy with you...they deserve a thank you gift....if anything, i'd cut a live band, crazy centerpieces, cake, just keep things simple....

    14 weeks 5 hours ago Report Comment
  • Stellanz's picture
    Stellanz
    41

    We've skipped tones of things e.g. DJ (iPod replaced), car (my family collects vintage). the question is what would I remove without even considering replacing with an alternative... FAVORS all the weddings I’ve been to had lovely little gifts that no one really looked twice at.

    There have been so may things that we have found totally unnecessary and yet we are still near $30k grrrr it's so hard

    14 weeks 5 hours ago Report Comment
  • thatsjoanna's picture
    thatsjoanna
    42

    wedding Favs. and realy expensive invitaions....no need.
    I am getting married in 6 months...and am an artist so I am making most of the stuff my self...thus cutting out the middle man... DIY for life baby! Smiling

    13 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • onabanana's picture
    onabanana
    43

    I know! We are at 30K and we've cut out so many things! It's just amazing how much little things add up. Question: do you girls add the cost of your wedding rings to the budget?

    13 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • workinghard's picture
    workinghard
    45

    The best advice I got was pick what's most important to you and spend money on that. We spent a little more on the venue which was really natural so we spent very little on flowers.

    I agree with DIY - in lots of cases we got what we wanted for a LOT less. Thank goodness for the internet and online shopping!