Go somewhere and elope

Either go somewhere and elope or put off the wedding until we have saved enough. I don't understand why people would borrow from family/friends or take out a major loan for a wedding. It's just ONE day! You will end up paying off that loan for years and years to come plus so many people are focused on having the "perfect" wedding that they don't focus on the "actual marriage". I think that's the most important part.

I just worked with what I had. and its perfect.

Me too Skinny Marie. I had a J Crew dress and our cakes were from a grocery store bakery! We spent the money we had on great reception food, drink, and music.

I don't undestand "put off the wedding until we have saved enough" honestly. You would put off committing to your loved one for a lifetime just because you can't afford certain flowers or table cloths?

My ideal "wedding" is to elope, although I would love to be wearing some louboutins while eloping...if I couldn't afford them I would just wear a pair of shoes I could afford. After all, it's about the marriage, not the shoes.

I'm a purist -- the simpler, the better.

Just pare down. Pick the few elements that excite your passion and spend on those, then leave out the rest (or prune them to a very bare minimum).

Consider having a much more intimate gathering with less ornamentation.

A modest ceremony can be powerfully romantic.

Elope in a really fun way like a cool vegas weekend and then have a small dinner party for my friends and family.

personally i think that i would elope and do something quick and fun, and then once my hubby and i had saved enough $$, we could throw something bigger. a lot of couples seem to be holding renewal ceremonies these days and that could be a great opportunity to have everyone come and we could do it the way that we want....

We pared our budget from a $20k guesstimate to $9k and so far our plans haven't suffered...and we keep finding more to cull! We have a long time to plan, which helps us not get caught up in a frenzy of expensive details. Most of our budget is going toward an awesome (but elegant) reception.

Justice of the peace and the renew our vows for our 5th anniversary.

*then

Your ideal wedding should be one in which you marry your fiance. The rest is just details.

I eloped with a dozen friends and family and got hitched in Vegas. Photos at the Bellagio, reception dinner after at an amazing French restaurant at the foot of the Eiffel Tower overlooking the Bellagio fountains. It was magical. And cost us about $800, between the ceremony ($200) and the dinner ($600 for everyone). Unlike the rest of my friends who've blown 30K on their wedding, we just put that money toward a house.

I had a modest ceremony & reception! I was married at the YWCA in Fort Worth, TX! When you rent the YWCA, a portion of the rental fee is to help battered & abused women.

I just want something small, but for a lot of people it's important to them to have a big party with their family. SO I don't think there's anything wrong with holding off until you have the money. Some people say that's putting off your commitment but really does a piece of paper saying your married really make that much difference? If you commited to the relationship it doesn't matter if you're married or not, I think of a wedding as a way to celebrate that commitment so why not have the best party I can?

I don't understand going into debt for one day. I was able to have a great wedding for under 10k for 120 people. There are always ways to save.

I refuse to skimp on the photographer or my dress, (both of which I am paying for - in cash - myself). Other than that, I do not care.

I was engaged for a little over a year before we actually got married. I can't tell you how much money I dumped just on wedding magazines at that time. Although I got a lot of great ideas, the magazines eventually just depressed me. Outrageous wedding gowns that cost as much as a car, cakes that were in the thousands, overnight spa parties to host for your bridesmaids? It all looked so fun but I can't do all that, even with my parents paying most of it.
In the end, I was very happy with my wedding but wish I didn't get so caught up with all magazine craziness.

I say just stay in your budget and remember it's a special day and you have the rest of your lives to share.

I say just stay in your budget and remember it's a special day and you have the rest of your lives to share.

This is tough; the idea of the perfect wedding is really a dream for most girls. However, this kind of depends on how much out of reach the ideal wedding is. If it is something where getting less pretty napkins and less food is an option, then there are some corners you can cut to at least get the main effect of the beautiful ceremony.

I worked with what i had and everyone said it was the best they had ever been too. Fun is free!!!!

Hah, I dont know... we are only married civilly and it was really fast and simple...now the church wedding...that is a tuff one I still havent figured out, it's been more than a year. Suggestions??

Why is it crazy to say until you have enough to have the dream wedding? Are you NOT going to spend the rest of you LIFE w/ the other person?? I was just wondering why it is so weird to have an engagement longer than a year when marriage is forever.

save not say sorry!

Who said its weird to be engaged over a year?

I think the issue is where you place the importance, which is what I struggled with. Marriage is very special and sometimes the emphasis is put on how great the reception is or how fancy the dress is.

Make no mistake, I personally wanted people to talk about how pretty everything was... but in the end the joining of the bride and groom are what REALLY make the wedding.

TidalWave, I'm putting off my wedding until I can afford it, but not because I need to have an extravagant party; I have a huge family, and they need to be there that day. Just accommodating that many people in an expensive city is pricey, no matter how budget you keep your party. We've put off the ceremony for a couple of years, but the act of commitment happened a long time ago. I think it's a totally responsible move to wait until you've saved up.

I've always thought it was weird to dream so much about a big wedding - am I the only girl who doesn't didn't at all dream about a wedding as a little girl?? Please, there are more important things to do

I don't wanna be the one to tell people how to spend their money, but... I'm sorry, I just think it's so pathetic to spend crazy money on your wedding. I particularly dream of the perfect husband and the perfect marriage. The party is just a detail. Are you celebrating that you found your true soulmate or just trying to prove something to your friends?

It's not about the wedding. It's about the marriage. You can have a spectacular wedding without breaking the bank. We set our budget well within our means and prioritized. Creativity goes a long way, too!

It really bothers me to see couples start their married life out in debt because of the wedding. Unfortunately, the people I know who took out loans to pay for their weddings already have other debt.

if you think the wedding needs to be a certain way, boy are you in for a surprise in married life. there is no such thing as perfect. as lovely as you think your bridesmaids dresses are you're probably the only one that thinks that. the flowers you paid extra for; several people are allergic. the vows you wrote; some folks are gaging. the cake with the $500 cake topper; almost no one saw it and none of them remembered it after the cake was cut. when you remember other people weddings what do you remember? who got married and whether it was raining or really, really hot.

Starting off your marriage with debt is a very bad idea. The number one problem for married couples is usually financial reasons. The important thing is to start out your new life as problem free as possible.

I don't really want a wedding anyway, so I said elope. If I marry someone who wants a wedding (and I have a suprising # of guy friends who want weddings) I will compromise with a party later on, cause I know that is really all he will want.

splurging money on a wedding is a waste..I'd rather make a small cute style wedding and enjoy it with my closest ones than be broke for the rest of my life or for like years to go just for one night!

lucky for me, my dream wedding is tiny and as intimate as possible. it's about the marriage, not the wedding!

i would put it off until i had enough money to afford exactly what we both wanted. its our big day, and i want it to be special and perfect

This is the boat I'm in. I just graduated law school but am in a clerkship right now. My FH is in med school. Right now, the two of us have no money. Most of the wedding venues are around here are between $100-125 per person and we each have big families. (45 cousins on each side, 12 aunts and uncles just on my side plus their spouses, etc.) We're going to try to have the best wedding possible on a skimpy budget since our parents can't help at all.

I think that spending beyond your means on a wedding is absolutely ridiculous. We all have dreams of a fairytale scenario, but honestly, it's just not worth it. Get married when you want to, and do the best with what you've got. You'll still have the same happy, fond memories. And, in the end, a good picture for your mantle. (Which is all weddings are, anyway.)

Yeah, I think just choose what is important to you. I've angered my close family by choosing to have my wedding in LA, most of my family will have to travel, and I wonder if it is really selfish of me to ask that. But the location is important, and it makes me sad that none of my family will visit us in LA (they think it's pretty much the devil's playground, not even kidding). I am going to spend a ton of the budget on the location (it's very special to my fiance and I), but it's so beautiful that I don't need flowers (they last ONE day), I don't care about the dress, I don't even LIKE cake, and there are so many other little "required" aspects of a wedding that are meaningless to me. Also, I WANT a small wedding, my goal is to feel like I am never "mingling."

I think once you identify what is really important to you, like if you are a fashionista and you want a fab gown, or a foodie, or you want a great band, then spend more there. Honestly, reading those magazines can make it seem like every detail MUST be important, but really, it's a ceremony and a party, not a test we must pass with the absolute best of taste to impress our friends!

We are in this situation at the moment it's our anniversary today and we can't celebrate it even if we destroy our social life for the next 5 months we will still be $6-7K short.

I don't know what to do.

even eloping wouldn't work cos I’d still want the dress and rings

no chance of postponing 5 months is long enough now that I’m built up with excitement it's like telling a 5 year old they have to wait for Christmas an extra 4 months JUST CAN'T HAPPEN!!!

We are in this situation at the moment it's our anniversary today and we can't celebrate it even if we destroy our social life for the next 5 months we will still be $6-7K short.

I don't know what to do.

even eloping wouldn't work cos I’d still want the dress and rings

no chance of postponing 5 months is long enough now that I’m built up with excitement it's like telling a 5 year old they have to wait for Christmas an extra 4 months JUST CAN'T HAPPEN!!!